Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Whis is the real insight in making friends in The Villages? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/whis-real-insight-making-friends-villages-327648/)

HIgolfers 12-30-2021 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hifred (Post 2044122)
I think it depends on where you are moving to. In newer neighborhoods there is a sense of building a community and people are more open to friendships. Typically people all tend to be new to the neighborhood and so everyone is new. We made the mistake of moving into an area we liked but most of our neighbors are 8-10 years older. We retired in 2019 before Covid and still found that the people in our neighborhood all had their golf groups and friends. I had heard about driveway parties but where I live there wasn't events that we were invited to and I didn't see neighborhood functions even before Covid. As such although we live between 466 A and 44 all of our friends are mostly in Fenny, Marsh Bend, Linden, and the newer areas. This is because these people were more our age and more open to forming friendships. I have tried to be a good neighbor and talk to those who live close. I have invited neighbors over for dinner and game nights but no one has reciprocated in the 2 and a half years we have lived in our home. I have brought meals to those who live nearby when they were sick, baked holiday goodies and brought them to neighbors. People in my neighborhood are friendly but not that social I think because they are very comfortable with the social groups they have established. If I had it to do over again I would move into a newly established area so we could be part of the making of the community from the ground up.

That was our thinking too so that is why we bought in a brand new neighbor 4 years ago. We are friendly with our neighbors and there are occasional driveway parties but other than that most of our friends live outside of our neighborhood because we have met most of them thru our activities. Our neighbors just don’t participate in the same activities.

Regarding Original post, preCovid there were lots of groups that met at night (regional, state groups, groups that follow a sports team, movie groups, etc). I am not sure if those groups have started back up again.

Bogie Shooter 12-30-2021 10:27 AM

Asking how to make friends at this point in our lives is weird.

JillClancy 12-30-2021 10:30 AM

When we first moved here the front yard needed a lot of tending to. I met every neighbor that way. They would all stop and chat and we realized what a great neighborhood we were in. Also you could bring out your chairs and sit in the driveway for an after work cocktail and it is an unwritten invitation to join anyone doing so. Just bring your own beverage and chair. It’s a fantastic way to meet people.

JMintzer 12-30-2021 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laker14 (Post 2044175)
I know lots of pricks who have friends. But they're all pricks.

You know what they say... "Pricks of a feather..."

JMintzer 12-30-2021 10:41 AM

We were luck to already know two couples who had been living in TV for a while... One , my wife has known since they were kids, and the others we met thru them, 5-5 years ago...

They've introduced us to dome of their friends and one included me in his Thursday morning golf group (typically 3-4 foursomes...)...

We also met a couple up in MD (thru friends up here) who live a mile or so from us in TV... Had dinner with them a few tines and we'll get together with them more often when we're both in TV at the same time...

Turns out my wife and the wife in the couple have mutual friends from childhood...

Just put yourself out there. You'll meet people. Some will become good friends, some will forever just be acquaintances... You'll be fine...

Ruggiero56 12-30-2021 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbob the Newbie (Post 2043796)
First and foremost: meet your neighbors. Not all of them will become your personal best friends ever, but most, if not all, of them will be at least cordial. And they have friends. Arrange a Happy Hour one evening, and invite them over. Weekends or weekday evenings don't matter much to retirees, so if your schedule demands a Friday or Saturday cocktail party, so be it. YOU have to be the catalyst for finding a group to have some fun with, don't expect somebody else to do that work for you! Make an effort and then you may reap the rewards. Make sense?

Jimbob the Newbie said exactly what I would recommend. Host an Open House (or better yet, a Driveway Party) for your neighbors. You’ll at least meet those who live around you and friendships may develop. if not, at least you’ll have good relationships with your neighbors.

rherb55 12-30-2021 01:02 PM

It doesn’t matter wether you work all day….. in my opinion it’s like working any plac
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbyPye (Post 2043792)
After a number of months of carefully planning, I am finally progressing to find a spot to move to The Villages on a more permanent basis along with the person that will be a spouse-type figure. (No, I am not legally married to the other person, but that is all besides the point!)

I keep reading various written posts as well as viewing imagery that stress the fact that once a couple (even a single person as well, through I can’t voice myself regarding that fact) moves to The Villages community, they will be making friends that they have never experienced first hand before, comparing to what it was like when they lived within the communities they came from. This notion presents an illusion that within a short period of time from the start of their official residency, these new residents will have a number of personal contacts that they can consider as their “friends”.

So I will ask this inquiry as I have yet to discover these facts myself. Once somebody does relocate to this Villages community, can a person and/or a couple really make these kinds of friends this quickly? I understand that if one engages is some form of activity be it playing a sport, becoming a participant is a organized group, or some other factor that requires social activity, one can make friends. But what would happen if this person/couple spends little time in such social activities, but one lives in the area just as a standard resident?

Both I as well as my domestic partner are working full time. (*gasp!*) We are employed outside of the community, meaning that we are away from home during the weekday hours, with an occasional weekend stance on the job. So while everyone is doing something during the weekday daylight hours such as playing golf or participating in a ceramics class, I, along with my “spouse” will be engaged in working at some facility that is far off from all of these forms of play and leisure.

I will state that having all of this leisure on hand is far from being unsettling or nothing to be desired. (In fact, it’s great!!) But let’s face it! I may not have the time to engage in all of these activities as I do have those personal responsibilities I must tend to that hold a first priority for my household.

The reason why I and my partner is moving to this Villages community is for various purposes, mostly because of financial elements. But those specific reasons can and will be discussed not here, but on another discussion thread that will be posted in the near future.

So if anyone can honestly speak up on this inquiry, I would deeply appreciate it as I know I am not the only person or persons that might want to know what they may be facing upon their arrival. So call this inquiry as one that can be considered as a public service.

Thank you to all!

-Abby and domestic partner Terry



Abby,
It doesn’t matter if you’re still working or not… You come home from work , eat and then go out just like you do now…. You have weekends to do whatever you’re into….. You will meet some great new friends…… Don’t stress over it… Enjoy being here….. Welcome to The Villages……

donfey 12-30-2021 01:20 PM

friends
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbyPye (Post 2043792)
After a number of months of carefully planning, I am finally progressing to find a spot to move to The Villages on a more permanent basis along with the person that will be a spouse-type figure. (No, I am not legally married to the other person, but that is all besides the point!)

I keep reading various written posts as well as viewing imagery that stress the fact that once a couple (even a single person as well, through I can’t voice myself regarding that fact) moves to The Villages community, they will be making friends that they have never experienced first hand before, comparing to what it was like when they lived within the communities they came from. This notion presents an illusion that within a short period of time from the start of their official residency, these new residents will have a number of personal contacts that they can consider as their “friends”.

So I will ask this inquiry as I have yet to discover these facts myself. Once somebody does relocate to this Villages community, can a person and/or a couple really make these kinds of friends this quickly? I understand that if one engages is some form of activity be it playing a sport, becoming a participant is a organized group, or some other factor that requires social activity, one can make friends. But what would happen if this person/couple spends little time in such social activities, but one lives in the area just as a standard resident?

Both I as well as my domestic partner are working full time. (*gasp!*) We are employed outside of the community, meaning that we are away from home during the weekday hours, with an occasional weekend stance on the job. So while everyone is doing something during the weekday daylight hours such as playing golf or participating in a ceramics class, I, along with my “spouse” will be engaged in working at some facility that is far off from all of these forms of play and leisure.

I will state that having all of this leisure on hand is far from being unsettling or nothing to be desired. (In fact, it’s great!!) But let’s face it! I may not have the time to engage in all of these activities as I do have those personal responsibilities I must tend to that hold a first priority for my household.

The reason why I and my partner is moving to this Villages community is for various purposes, mostly because of financial elements. But those specific reasons can and will be discussed not here, but on another discussion thread that will be posted in the near future.

So if anyone can honestly speak up on this inquiry, I would deeply appreciate it as I know I am not the only person or persons that might want to know what they may be facing upon their arrival. So call this inquiry as one that can be considered as a public service.

Thank you to all!

-Abby and domestic partner Terry

Simple. To have a friend, be a friend.

Michael G. 12-30-2021 02:53 PM

Whis is the real insight in making friends in The Villages?

Move !

JMintzer 12-30-2021 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael G. (Post 2044415)
Whis is the real insight in making friends in The Villages?

Move !

Did something get lost in translation???:confused::confused:

Laker14 12-30-2021 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael G. (Post 2044415)
Whis is the real insight in making friends in The Villages?

Move !

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMintzer (Post 2044432)
Did something get lost in translation???:confused::confused:

That one went over my head (admittedly not a very high bar) as well.


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