Talk of The Villages Florida
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Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)
-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Would you continue living here after your spouse passes ? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/would-you-continue-living-here-after-your-spouse-passes-312496/)

RLORFS 04-21-2021 05:16 PM
Just lost my wife
 
I lost my wife last week from a sudden illness that took her 2 weeks ago over a weekend. So sad. She was beautiful, healthy and very active. We moved to Arizona to try retirement living here and have not liked much. She was 69 and I am 63 so we thought there would be lots here to do and see. Not so much. A few weeks before she passed we were discussing moving to TV's. We thought if one of us went the other might be able to continue life with new friends and activities. We have no kids so geography was never an issue. Thats why I decided to read this post. I wanted to see what people thought who have experienced the same thing I'm experiencing now. I have no connections here and was curious if such a move to TV's would help in finding things to do to keep my mind free. My sole-mate is gone and I will miss her forever, but at some point I will need to rebuild my life.

OrangeBlossomBaby 04-21-2021 06:42 PM
I guess it would depend on my financial status at the time. If I could afford it and was still in good physical condition, I'd probably return north and maybe find a nice 1st-floor apartment in Cambridge, MA near Harvard Square. Or possibly buying a tiny home in one of the retirement communities somewhere near Eugene, Oregon. Or maybe I'd keep the house here, renovate it and rent it out while I travel overseas for a few months every year. Placed I'd love to go, that I haven't gone to because it just doesn't interest the spouse. Greece, Wales, England, Parts of India, maybe Morocco, parts of Spain, Madagascar. Lots of this planet I want to see before I'm too old to appreciate them.

charlieo1126@gmail.com 04-21-2021 07:13 PM
Been in the villages many years and in many homes but my plans have never changed, I would stay here as long as I was healthy ( I am at 82 ) but the cutoff would be 85 but no later then 86 and then I would go back home to Boston . I want to live where I can walk to everything and I can interact with all kinds of people on city streets . I always thought looking out the window in your last years in Florida if your ill and staring at grass or a parking lot while your dying in the sun is not for me and if I do get sick in the future I’ll be getting treated at Massachusetts General Hospital a 15 minute walk from my home

retiredguy123 04-21-2021 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RLORFS (Post 1933274)
I lost my wife last week from a sudden illness that took her 2 weeks ago over a weekend. So sad. She was beautiful, healthy and very active. We moved to Arizona to try retirement living here and have not liked much. She was 69 and I am 63 so we thought there would be lots here to do and see. Not so much. A few weeks before she passed we were discussing moving to TV's. We thought if one of us went the other might be able to continue life with new friends and activities. We have no kids so geography was never an issue. Thats why I decided to read this post. I wanted to see what people thought who have experienced the same thing I'm experiencing now. I have no connections here and was curious if such a move to TV's would help in finding things to do to keep my mind free. My sole-mate is gone and I will miss her forever, but at some point I will need to rebuild my life.
At 63, there is time to start over, but don't wait too long. There are lots of things to do and people to meet in The Villages. Good luck.

CFrance 04-21-2021 08:37 PM
My husband would flee to SW France. I would stay here. There's no pickleball there. It's lovely but cold and rainy in the winter. I love it there in the spring/summer, but I like it here, and if I had to choose, climate would prevail.

kathyspear 04-21-2021 09:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RLORFS (Post 1933274)
I lost my wife last week from a sudden illness that took her 2 weeks ago over a weekend. So sad. She was beautiful, healthy and very active. We moved to Arizona to try retirement living here and have not liked much. She was 69 and I am 63 so we thought there would be lots here to do and see. Not so much.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Many people suggest not making any big decisions for a while after losing a partner. Maybe take some time to think about what you want out of life, what kind of activities you can see yourself taking part in. Lots to do here, with over 3,000 clubs. And the weather is nice more often than not.

Good luck.

kathy

FenneyGuy 04-22-2021 03:40 AM
My wife passed and so far, I have no plans to leave.

SKIMAN 04-23-2021 10:01 AM
I plan to sell hop on the steel pony no gps ride until I want to stop have a beer and think about the next day.

vintageogauge 04-23-2021 10:16 AM
I have no idea at this point, I guess it would depend on health, where my family is at the time, and how much driving I could do at the time. Probably stay put for awhile weighing my options. I hope I don't have to make that decision.

DavidCovid 04-23-2021 11:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RLORFS (Post 1933274)
I lost my wife last week from a sudden illness that took her 2 weeks ago over a weekend. So sad. She was beautiful, healthy and very active. We moved to Arizona to try retirement living here and have not liked much. She was 69 and I am 63 so we thought there would be lots here to do and see. Not so much. A few weeks before she passed we were discussing moving to TV's. We thought if one of us went the other might be able to continue life with new friends and activities. We have no kids so geography was never an issue. Thats why I decided to read this post. I wanted to see what people thought who have experienced the same thing I'm experiencing now. I have no connections here and was curious if such a move to TV's would help in finding things to do to keep my mind free. My sole-mate is gone and I will miss her forever, but at some point I will need to rebuild my life.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and as you previously stated, at some point, you will have to rebuild your life. I hope you do find happiness be it within The Villages or anywhere else. Be safe.

rjm1cc 04-23-2021 11:29 AM
I think part of the answer has to consider your age and health as well as is their an a place you can move back too.

unialimon 04-23-2021 11:29 AM
NO.

GrumpyOldMan 04-23-2021 11:58 AM
My wife and I have discussed this, and I would probably stay here until I die. My wife, on the other hand is pretty sure the will sell here and move closer to her kids in CA.

JMintzer 04-23-2021 01:20 PM
A little levity, for a somewhat somber discussion...


A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"

"After a considerable period of grieving," he says, "I guess I would. We all need companionship."

"If I died and you remarried," the wife asks, "would she live in this house?"

"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I guess so."

"If I died and you remarried and she lived in this house," the wife asks, "would she sleep in our bed?"

"Well, the bed is brand-new. It's going to last a long time. I guess she would."

"If I died and you remarried and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?"

"Oh, no," the husband replies. "She's left-handed."

DAVES 04-23-2021 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1853011)
The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks
Not sure why you are thinking this way. Perhaps, an illness, perhaps a friend. In any case being a widower and moving from the villages, you will still be a widower where ever you go. Moving does not solve that.

Funny yet sad. My mom in a far smaller active senior place when word was out that my father had passed had several guys hitting on her. One it particular only lasted till he discovered his information was wrong. They had little or no money.


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