Talk of The Villages Florida
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Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)
-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Would you continue living here after your spouse passes ? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/would-you-continue-living-here-after-your-spouse-passes-312496/)

cmeinel@verizon.net 10-29-2020 10:26 AM
For me it will depend on how much support I have in the villages, if have a few good friends I could depend on in time of need, I would definitely consider staying but likely would down size. I am new and only 62 so I have a lot of acquaintances but I haven’t had anyone wanting to be a close friend. My husband is still working and I spend a lot of time alone in the house. I have some mobility concerns so I don’t just mosey around alone.

TerSul 10-29-2020 10:32 AM
Surprise! I stayed!
 
Moving to The Villages was my husband's idea. Then he got sick with a degenerative brain disease complicated by Parkinson's. I was amazed how helpful and thoughtful Villagers were. I never went anywhere that someone wouldn't offer to help me move my husband. Neighbors were always checking on me and encouraging me. My husband died nearly seven years ago and I am still here. I remember thinking that if we had to grow old, this was a good place to do it since The Villages provides everything you need to delay the process. That hasn't changed. I love the availability of music and art and the long winters of New England discourage me to make a move. Since my adult children are spread out, this works for me. Who knew?

bonniemanross 10-29-2020 10:45 AM
I was a Realtor here with Re/Max and we always suggested to our clients not to make any drastic moves for at least a year. Just to make sure you really want to move back north.

dadoiron 10-29-2020 11:16 AM
Definitely
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1853011)
The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks
But I'd get a smaller place - bills with no vegetation - rocks. Can't beat the weather.

dadoiron 10-29-2020 11:17 AM
Villas - hate spell check that changes it to bills????

rmd2 10-29-2020 11:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idaholady (Post 1853966)
I’ve been a widow for five years. Three years ago I suffered a major health scare. After that I realized life is short - I better enjoy the rest of it. I came down here last winter and checked out The Villages and decided to move here which I did in June. Terrible timing because of Covid. So far, I have found The Villages to not be a great place for a widow. I’m hoping it’s different when clubs and activities resume. My neighbors for the most part have not been friendly. No parties, etc. like I understand other neighborhoods have. I am very outgoing and social and I’m finding it to be difficult. I won’t go to bars or dancing at the squares by myself. Also, I realized I moved too far away from my kids since Covid is making travel difficult. I’ll give it a year and if I feel the same way I’ll move back west.
It will be better when all the clubs and activities are going. The recreation centers are a great place to make new friends. I've lived here 10 years and have noticed the stress of COVID has taken a toll on people here during this pandemic. It's understandable. It WILL be better.

rwfisher1969 10-29-2020 11:50 AM
My wife and I were just talking about this the other day. We are planning our move to the Villages for next year. She asked me what I would do and I said that I would stay. I look forward to the life that want to build there. It not be something that I would want to stop living. She said that she did not know what she would do. I think she would go back and forth.

NavyVet 10-29-2020 12:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idaholady (Post 1853966)
I’ve been a widow for five years. Three years ago I suffered a major health scare. After that I realized life is short - I better enjoy the rest of it. I came down here last winter and checked out The Villages and decided to move here which I did in June. Terrible timing because of Covid. So far, I have found The Villages to not be a great place for a widow. I’m hoping it’s different when clubs and activities resume. My neighbors for the most part have not been friendly. No parties, etc. like I understand other neighborhoods have. I am very outgoing and social and I’m finding it to be difficult. I won’t go to bars or dancing at the squares by myself. Also, I realized I moved too far away from my kids since Covid is making travel difficult. I’ll give it a year and if I feel the same way I’ll move back west.
These are definitely unusual times. Have seen numerous articles about how the whole pandemic restrictions thing is especially difficult for extrovert people. For introverts, homebodies, and those with anxiety disorders, it has been less of a drastic change. Some people handle being alone better than others and are not necessarily lonely. Some people can't handle being alone at all and need to be out doing things constantly. Me, I'm never bored. I always know how to amuse myself.
:)

Madelaine Amee 10-29-2020 12:46 PM
I have no idea, and also hope it is many years before I have to nmake a decision like that. Perhaps I will get lucky and go before him.

kathyspear 10-29-2020 12:59 PM
This has been a really interesting thread. Condolences to all those who have suffered the loss of their spouse and many thanks for taking the time to share your experiences with us.

Recently I had a health scare and asked the hubs if he would move back up north if I died. He said YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE ANY TIME SOON and for now, at least, that turned out to be the case. :)

We had been snow birds for several years before moving to TV full-time. My sister and her hubby lived here already. Had that not been the case we would have settled in Pinellas County, where our winter place was. I'm sure that if I go first my guy will move back "home" where his mom, brother, daughter and her family live. Winters don't bother him the way they bother me. If I end up alone I will stay here as long as sissy and BIL are still here. Our house is on the larger side as TV homes go, though, (2650 sq ft) so I would definitely move to a smaller place.

Good luck to everyone as you get to the place in your life where these decisions need to be made.

kathy

Dennys37Packard 10-29-2020 08:51 PM
If that dreaded day ever comes, my worst nightmare, I would stay and stay single. I could never find perfection like her. There is so much to do here, so many things I enjoy, there would be no where else I would want to be. It is peaceful, beautiful, and can be as exciting or as laid back as you want, depending on your mood that day.

Lbmb24101 10-29-2020 11:58 PM
Completely agree with you
I am in a similar situation

Two Bills 10-30-2020 02:28 AM
Believe me when I say that I am as tough as old boots.
But.
If my other half went before me I would be a complete and total wreck.
I would probably seriously consider making it a double funeral.
It's my worse nightmare, and to awful to imagine.

tfa4755 10-30-2020 07:57 AM
I am staying. My passed in August 2019.
I love Florida and TV

sswitenki 10-30-2020 10:04 AM
These are things that I think many people think about. We have a place near Canada and I love It but know I couldn’t stay there alone. If something happened and I were sick and unable to drive, there is not delivery service for food or medication. Amazon can only go so far. Although no cab service here, I could get help. People are friendly here and opportunities are available to meet others with your interests.


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