Wish in one hand and s**t in the other, then see which one fills up fastest.

Finer than a frog hair split 4 ways.

If brains were dynamite he wouldn't be able to blow his nose.

...My friends in Texas use your " all hat and no cattle " quite often...

..........In my old 'hood.....We always used....." all flash and no cash "

He's like a fart in a gale.

On that note...he's like a fart in a cane seated chair!

Before dinner when we would say...I'm hungry. My mom would say...look in the mirror and get fed up!

During dinner if we didn't eat mom would say ...eat it or wear it! Nice huh?

My dear Auntie Cass had so many here are just a few...

As I am someday you'll be!
In response to us asking why she never remarried after my Uncle Bill passed away...all men want is a nurse or a purse!
And at family gatherings...wherever you may be let your wind blow free!

If he/she had half of a brain, his/her head would be tilted.

As funny as a fart in a spacesuit.

BTW - I forgot to mention, one per customer.

Cheer up. Things could be worse.

Pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

Put a sock in it.

Kis my grits.

I may have been born at night, but I wasn't born last night.

Really appreciate this post! Love knowing the background of these great old expressions:)

My Father's work sayings
 

Do the job right the first time and you won't have to do it again.
To do the job right you need the right tools.
Do the job right or don't do it at all.

(Needless to say, I was expected to learn to do things properly. He was a great father.)

Measure twice, cut once.