Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.



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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.


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What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.


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I’m looking for a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices. With unlimited Internet access, doughnuts and coffee.

I worked very hard to get to where I am in life.*An unemployed university graduate.

Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

Nothing like a tattoo on your neck to let everyone know how uninterested you are at being employed.

I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well. I boxed all the right ticks.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it might take all day.




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The other day I woke up in a panic thinking I was late for work. I grabbed my clothes and was on my way out the door, when I remembered it was a weekend. Relieved I took my suit off and put some comfortable clothes on. Then I remembered I'm unemployed.




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Living the life in my CYV !
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...d2ba6a851b.jpg



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