[skyguy79]

Different types of men in a public restroom.

Excitable Man: Shorts have twisted around, he can’t find the opening, rips pants in rage.

Sociable Man: Joins friends to tinkle, whether he has to or not. Figures it doesn’t cost anything.

Cross-Eyed Man: Looks into urinal on his left. Tinkles in the one in front, and flushes the one on the right.

Timid Man: Cannot tinkle if anyone is watching. Flushes urinal pretending he used it. Sneaks back later.

Nosey Man: Attempts to see into other urinal to see how the other guy is built.

Indifferent Man: All urinals being occupied, he uses the sink.

Clever Man: No Hands. Shows off by adjusting tie, looks around for admiring glances; usually tinkles on shoe and floor.

Worried Man: Isn’t sure what he’s been into lately. Makes a frenzied search and inspection.

Frivolous Man: Plays the stream up and down and across the urinal. Attempts to hit flies. This type never grows up.

Absentminded Man: Opens vest. Pulls out tie. Wets pants.

Disgruntled Man: Stands for awhile. Attempts to push from inside. Is unsuccessful. Gives up. Leaves restroom grumbling, with fly open.

Sneaky Man: Passes wind silently while tinkling. Acts innocent. Knows the man in next stall will be blamed.

Personality Man: Tells dirty jokes while tinkling. Has pronounced control of his wind. Has his comrades in stitches, and tinkles on the floor.

Sloppy Man: Tell tale wet drops always below the fly. Never misses his shoes, and occasionally others. Never washes hands. Usually walks out with fly undone.

Childish Man: Looks directly into the pool at the bottom of the urinal. Likes to hear the bubbling noise it makes.

Patient Man: Stands for an incredible length of time, waiting. Sometimes reads a newspaper held in his free hand.

Efficient Man: Waits until he has to do both so he doesn’t waste time.

Tough Guy: Bangs member on side of urinal when finished. On a good night, cracks porcelain.

Biker Dude: Rips urinal out of wall and tinkles out the window. Forgot he parked under the same window.

Adventurous Man: Likes to see how far he can stand from the urinal and still score a direct hit.

Travelin’ Man: Can never find a service station in time; carries a large bottle for the road. Has collection of large bottles which he forgets to pitch.

Forgetful Man: Finally remembers why he came into the john, approaches urinal, flushes and leaves while something warm runs down his leg.

Hand Man: While you’re doing your thing you hear a George Michaels impersonator in a nearby stall.

Short Man: Stands back and shoots up.

Tall Man: Shoots down, trying to avoid the double dribble. Often sprays short man because he can’t see him.

Flasher Man: Just stands in front of the urinal with his rain coat open.

Procrastinating Man: Waits until teeth turn yellow. Usually tinkles in pants while looking for the can.

Bad Man: While you’re taking care of business, he lifts your wallet and runs.

Drunk Man: Holds left thumb in right hand, tinkles in pants.

Conceited Man: Holds two inch member like a baseball bat.

Vigorous Man: Shakes vigorously to dry, usually the last drop lands on tip of his nose.

Dreamy Man: Looks at unit and congratulates it for it’s past performances.

New York Man: Just uses the subway.

Desperate Man: Discovers his zipper is stuck.

Painful Man: Quickly zips before everything is put away. He is usually found writhing on the floor.

Disillusioned Man: You notice the 7-year-old at the next stall has a bigger package than you.

Phone Man: Can’t stay off his cell phone. Often misses his target if the conversation is heated. Forgets the other party can hear surrounding sounds.

Viagra Man: Forgot to relieve himself before taking Viagra. Usually hits the ceiling; often knocking down ceiling tiles. Has trouble closing zipper.

[OldDave]

Somebody has been spending WAY too much time in the john...and I suspect has pictures to prove it. Pretty funny stuff.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by OldDave

Somebody has been spending WAY too much time in the john...and I suspect has pictures to prove it. Pretty funny stuff.

Dave, origin of that list probably goes back to WWII if not earlier and has been added to over the years. I first saw the list back in the '50's on a typed sheet of paper and I think I still have that same peice of paper stored somewhere. I still find it as funny today as I did way back when!

[Taltarzac725]

'Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just ****ed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."' Robin Williams 1986

[2BNTV]

Sign for all men in restrroom, "Our aim is to keep this place clean, your aim helps".