Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
Talk of The Villages Florida - Rentals, Entertainment & More
#331
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#332
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Absolutely love it.
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#333
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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.
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A great attitude is a choice, not a disposition |
#334
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As a former editor, I LOVE that!!
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It's harder to hate close up. |
#335
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Yes, I thought it was good.
I've read thousands of resumes over the course of my 40 plus years in HR. I had a folder (unfortunately lost in one of our moves) of "memorable resumes", which contained some of the most unbelievable products. One was from a college graduate (from a very good school) who applied for a position as a "prufreader". I thought it had to be a joke but, unfortunately, it was not.
__________________
A great attitude is a choice, not a disposition |
#336
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THE BAR
A guy goes into a bar. He's sitting on the stool, enjoying his drink when he hears, "You look great!" He looks around - there's nobody near him. He hears the voice again, "No really, you look terrific." The guy looks around again. Nobody. He hears, "Is that a new shirt or something? Because you are absolutely glowing!" He then realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar. "Hey," the guy calls to the bartender, "What's with the nuts?" "Oh," the bartender answers, "They're complimentary." |
#337
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One of my favorites was the guy who took a complete additional page, to explain all of his run-ins with the law (6 or 7 separate incidents). His last one said, "they accused me of armed robbery, but the charges were dropped because they didn't have any video proof...and couldn't find the gun." |
#338
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When life gives you MELONS ..... you are Dyslexic.
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#339
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- Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. - I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. - My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. - My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. - My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort. |
#340
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#341
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Nice try...
Carpool Lane Violation (zoom-by here)
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#342
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#343
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#344
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LOL very funny
__________________
A great attitude is a choice, not a disposition |
#345
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I would be worried about a lawsuit...from someone having a heart attack.
On second thought it's China...so never mind. Edit: Look at the guy on the left @ :40...he peed his pants! ... Last edited by ColdNoMore; 07-06-2019 at 08:58 PM. Reason: Just noticed something. LOL |
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