"Where, oh where, have all donkeys gone. I know the Villages had a bunch of horses and some buffalo, but for the life of me, I cannot find a donkey anywhere in the Villages." said Tal. To which, 2B said that the donkeys were a little too dangerous for the Villages because they kick without warning. "Without warning" says....

Barefoot and Fireboy came by and Fireboy jumped out the golf cart and put out the open fire with his ever present fire extinguisher. "Our chestnuts will never get roasted now", cried Red, but Tal came racing to the rescue with.........................................

... his Tal eWacker. Fireboy will never be the same again. Back on the ranch, aka Brownwood, Weiss guy started a....

Commotion by dancing the Irish Jig while Paul Vesco sang the Electric Slide. A tall skinny blonde lady with a ponytail then began beating him with a water bottle, while still leading her loyal band in the line. Gracie, Sweetie, and Helene noticing the commotion came over and Sweetie said..........................

.... something in Gracie's ear. Gracie got all excited that they quickly hopped back in their golf cart and headed for home. When they got there.....

no violence on Christmas Eve and began singing Kumbayaa. Everyone was put into a peaceful trance that lasted throughout the holidays and then.......

Gracie whipped up an impromptu seven course meal, featuring a pork crown roast. The smell wafting from Gracie Mansion caught the attention of SWR who cut in front of a car making a right turn in roundabout from the left lane. PaulandJean happened to be in the car that SWR cut off, and rolled down the window yelling and shaking their fist. SWR, however, was in a hurry and did not have time for road rage while speeding toward Gracie Mansion. When Steve arrived he ran to the door and......................................

... tripped over a gecko. Thankfully he didn't get hurt but.....

it left a bruise on his forehead that Gracie gave him ice to keep the bump down. Paul and Jean crashed through Gracie's door and demanded to know where SWRINFLA was. Gracie stammered and said......

... Tal. I never thought an A Hi An could talk like that! Maybe, I should take a trip to A Hi O so that I can pick up this lingo. No so fast, said, P, who then started....

Bump.

.....toward the stove to prepare herself a hot cup of cider before settling down for a quiet joyful Christmas Eve.

But suddenly in the middle of the night she heard such a clatter that she flew out of bed and over to the window to see what was the matter. And much to her surprise, what did she see? Two eager burglars and a rusty get away car. What did you expect she'd see... Santa Clause? :1rotfl:

Anyway, she flew like a flash to phone the police. Half way there she tripped on her cat Clarisse. Picked herself up but started to sneeze. Grabbed some tissues to clear her nose, but suddenly something started to tickle her toes. And when she looked down, what did she see? Frantic old Santa making a plea. "Hide me P hide me, as quickly as can be, those burglars are elves and their looking for me." But P had no mercy for dear old Kris Kringle, for she knew he had to return quickly north by jingly-jingle. For the toys were were not done, but must be by two, if delivery is to be made to all and be through! And if he is late, what will parents do, when the kids wake up, all crying and blue!

So Santa got back and finished his chores, with P back in bed commencing her snores! Come early next morn, with P finally up, she started the coffee and let out the pup. Had a cup and got dressed all ready to go, to...........

publix to buy hot crossed buns. In the aisle, P was run over bu skyguy79 with his scooter who said, I want those hot crossed buns for my family. P whipped out her squirt gun and drenched Joe who started crying. P felt bad and she gave Joe her hot crossed buns and told him...........

STOP!!! I can't repeat what she told me here on TOTV! So let's move on and.....

...Merry Christmas to everyone. Unfortunately for the Villagers, some of the elves held a grudge about interference with their capture of Santa Claus as they wanted to be able to put out the Made in China toys from the companies they held stock in for a long time. Santa Claus had been pushing just Made in America toys.

The elves decided to drain Lake Sumter, but Graciegirl and her trusted Red Hat Lady posse....

decided they would stop the elves as there is no pee in Lake Sumter. The posse got in a boat to help deliver the toys to all the children as Santa was tired but stopped at Pooh's house for a wonderful meal by the gourmet chef and dessert too. After that meal, they were.......

sooooooo tired. So they called out for help in delivering the presents. And wouldn't you know it - along came . . .

...all sitting in the hot tub when all the stress from Christmas gave Santa Claus a terrible case of gas. P rushed to the lanai windows to open them up, while KathieI tried to dance the stink from the room looking much like the woman Salome who did the dance of the Seven Veils. This got some of the other partiers jealous of KathieI's dancing skills at which point....

... someone noticed that something happened in the hot tub. They all look in horror when they saw what happened to Frosty the Snowman! Tal said, quick... someone get a bucket so we can scoop up what's left of Frosty and get rid of the evidence before we get caught. KathyI protested saying....

...you are not watching me dance! I am a star! I need the judges to give me that score. To which point, all the other guests wrote down a "10" on anything they could find and held it up to appease KathyI.

Unfortunately, the chlorine in the hot tub had done in Frosty. But, 2B with his magic wand....

... exposed got arrested by the police and thrown in the clink. Meanwhile back at the dance, KathyI....

Frosty is dead? omigosh. This is fiction isn't it? Oh please KathyI dance or something so I know this is just a story.

Meanwhile back at the dance, KathyI ran into her dream man. He was gorgeous and successful and single and old ENOUGH and just newly arrived in The Villages from...................

...Dances with the Stars. KathieI knows that she will really have the moves now. No one will be able to touch her line dancing. She may even be able to revive Frosty. How do you get a pulse or temperature from a pile of slush?? Meanwhile back at Graciegirl's....

2B was beside himself for getting arrested for his magic wand being exposed. He was in a state of arrested development because .........

his wand was in repose....the state of which upset all TV who decided collectively....

to buy him a new one! Yikes said....

...Samhass. How much is that going to add to the Villager's Ammenity Fees? What happens if every Tom, Dick and Harry in the Villages needs to perk up his magic wand? Gently, Redwitch tries to....

Get ALL the boys minds off what All the boys are usually thinking about when she arrives in her Christmas gift; a brand new spiffy all tricked out......

...Garia Edition Soleil de Minuit Golf Cart.
Of course, because of the $52,000 price of it, Redwitch usually only keeps it in her garage.
Garia Edition Soleil de Minuit Golf Car Previewed - autoevolution

The men, do, however quickly have their minds on the Garia and off anything else. Until....

Ferrari Lambourghini and said. Eat your heart out boys and she gave Gracie a ride over to........

...Lake Sumter to make sure there's still no P in it! When they got there...

they saw the lake was clean and beautiful with sunlight shimmering off of it. they decided to take a picture that shirlavee could post on TOTV to....

...they had to make sure that the radio controlled gator was still working and managed to take it for a spin amazing all the boardwalk spectators who so wanted to see a gator. The Villages management put in the remote controlled gator with the brown snout because of the possibility that some tourist might feed it. Then, they really would have a problem. It also keeps the real gators away from the Boardwalk area.

After getting some ice cream at Haagen Daz....

they cleaned off the mess on their faces and they decided to go get some pizza. However, they couldn't agree on where to go. Sam wanted NYC Pizza, and Gracie wanted Cinncinatti pizza then Sam said but NYC pizza is the best but Gracie said no it isn't. Cincinatti's is best and the argument went on and on until......

Gary Morse walked up and said to Gracie. YOU JUST PLAIN POST WAY TOO MUCH ON THAT TOTV. don't you have anything else to do??? Gracie started crying but Bill-n-Brillo made her smile when they told her that the new.......................

owners were going to name a street after her, (Gracie's Way). With that Gracie started plans on organizing a parade where no one was allowed to save seat as one fanny in seat equals being reserved. The list of paraders was long and..........

...even had root beer float stands for all the grandkids made with Haagen Daz ice cream. This really upset Tom and Jerry's which...

said, "You idiots! Don't you know there are no parades allowed in The Villages anymore?", Gary Morse, overhearing this cried, "WHAT, no parades???? Who ordered that, I'll fire their rear end, I LOVE the Village Twirlers!!!!" But Gracie, being gracious as always said..........

come over to my house and I'll serve you twinkies. Grcaie went to her cupboard and alas, there were no twinkies as she forgot that Hostess went out of business. Gracie decided to buy a cake and sent Sweetie to the bakery that......