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Advice from a retired husband

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Old 07-14-2009, 06:56 PM
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ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND


It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,

Ron

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
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Old 07-14-2009, 08:36 PM
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What a great imagination!!
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:57 PM
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thats not justice,think the jury was bought
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:06 AM
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I think the women on the jury must have had husbands that play golf too!!!
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Old 07-16-2009, 08:26 PM
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Ohhhhhh, gr, you, sir, have outdone yourself this time.

This one has it all.

I laughed.

I cried.

So hysterical.

And yet......

Such a tragic loss......

Those Big Bertha drivers are really expensive.

Boomer
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Old 07-16-2009, 08:56 PM
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When will men ever learn?
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Old 07-16-2009, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whalen View Post
When will men ever learn?
When the beer is gone!
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Old 07-17-2009, 12:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by champion6 View Post
When the beer is gone!
May the beer never run out, but if it does, you can always send your wife out for more!!!!!
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Old 07-17-2009, 12:53 PM
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I SWEAR ON RON'S MEMORY ,,,,,, I WILL HONESTLY TRY TO DO BETTER ...AFTER THE PORK CHOPS THIS EVENING ..........

ASHAMED FUMAR .......
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Old 07-17-2009, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MMC24 View Post
May the beer never run out, but if it does, you can always send your wife out for more!!!!!
B double-E double-R U N, BEER RUN,
B double-E double-R U N, BEER RUN.

All we need is a ten and five-er,
a car and key and a sober driver.

B double-E double-R U N, BEER RUN.

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Old 07-17-2009, 05:42 PM
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Sometimes the reactions are better than the joke. Thanks.

George
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Old 07-19-2009, 06:35 PM
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Oh my, can you even get Bob and Tom down south here?
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