If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a damn fool...

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam

The Torpedoes, full speed ahead.


But not in your golf cart or they will issue you a citation that says........

he was driving his golf cart on a public roadway without a clue of how to get through the tunnels on his way to Brownwood. He began wondering whether the days of getting around by golf cart will be over. And over at Publix they were having a buy one get one free on ....

If you think ketchup is king of American condiments, think again.

Mustard is king and ketchup is queen!

:eclipsee_gold_cup: LOL

Actually Mayonnaise is better on chicken sandwiches and that is the reason I am sure that The mayor of Toronto and Justin Bieber will get along. Because they both like to..................

Crack jokes on TOTV.

I don't know how one can crack a joke. I can crack crab and peanuts and ribs when doing cpr...but I always forget the punch line which you probly should know for telling a joke, like, a rope walked into a bar....

and asked the bartender for a vodka tonic.
bartender: we don't serve ropes.
rope: okay then...
rope leaves the bar....

Rope goes in the parking lot, asks a a Harley rider to tie him in a knot and frazzle the ends..rope goes back in the bar, sits down, barkeep says: what would you like.
Rope: a vodka tonic.
Barkeep: Say aren't you that rope that was just in here....

Rope: Nope, I'm a frayed knot.

Had a frayed knot on my warms ups...got it stuck in the pantry drawer looking for pests, but still can't find my glasses. What ARE these flashers.....