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  #1  
Old 01-13-2012, 05:57 AM
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Default Puns

Puns For Those With A Higher IQ

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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Old 01-13-2012, 08:17 AM
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Default Good ones!

Have to forward these on for sure!
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Old 01-13-2012, 09:36 AM
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That's some 'punny' stuff right there!



Bill
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Old 01-13-2012, 09:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill-n-Brillo View Post
That's some 'punny' stuff right there!



Bill
Ditto. very clever puns.
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Old 02-07-2012, 06:15 PM
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Default Pun

The man held up the drug store, then jumped on the scale and got a weigh!
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