[JohnN]

Add one to the list if you can! My all-time favorite comes from an old
plant manager when I was a young kid in accounting:
"The probability of an accounting error being in my favor is in inverse
proportion to the magnitdue of the error"
----------------------------------

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

[RichieLion]

Loved them. I particularly embrace the "anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about" dictum.

[SgtJohn]

I liked #11. How true is that.

[buzzy]

20. The Law of Business Math - The higher the level of management, the lower the estimate of costs.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by JohnN

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Similar could be said about parking lots. More than once I've returned to my parked car and found that there's no other car in the lot or anywhere near where I've parked... except for the one parked next to me that's real close to the drivers side door!

[2BNTV]

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

This really happened one night as I went to the gym late and when I finished, myself and another person came to our respective lockers that were next to one another. We were the only two people in the building.

There were only two cars in the parking lot when I left.

[CaptJohn]

And I thought those laws just applied to me! Nice to know I have company.

[brostholder]

Pharmacy Law: if you have a cold and take antibiotics, you will feel better in a week. If you don't take antibiotics it will take 7 days.

Sick day Law: 40% of sick days occur on a Monday or Friday.

Statistical Law: 87.4% of statistics are made up.