[senior citizen]

Sent to me by a friend as "chuckle of the day".


PEANUTS ANYONE ?
Thinking that the hospital administrator needed to show a more human side of himself, his committee advised him to visit an old age home. Walking into the room of an old man, with the cameras whirring, the visitor was surprised when the old man offered him some peanuts from a bowl on the table. "Thank you", said the nominee after being offered more for the 3rd time, "why don’t you have some yourself?" "Oh, I can’t eat it" said the old man, "I don’t have any teeth." "So why do you have them?" asked the confused man."Oh, I like the chocolate around it" was the glib reply.
************************************************** *********************

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

An old man once told us......

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, 'Come on, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So my wife called him a lunatic. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
************************************************** **********************

Barry and Hannah, an old married couple, are sitting on the couch watching TV. On the show they were speaking about how to prepare in case of death etc. "Honey," says Barry, turning to his wife with a serious expression, "I want you to promise me, that if there ever comes a time that I am dependent on just machines and bottled fluid, that you will make sure to put an end to it." "No problem hun," said Hannah, and she promptly got up, turned off the TV, and poured his beer down the drain.
************************************************** **********************

Grandma Sally’s first great-grandchild was born and after a few weeks, when the parents needed a break, she was given the job of watching her. "Let me see the little cutie," begs her friend Gerty. "Not yet", Sally responds. When she again refuses five minutes later Gerty has had enough "what are you waiting for?" she fumed. "I’m waiting for her to cry." "Why is that?" questioned Gerty. "Well, because I forgot where I put her!"

************************************************** **********************
Two oldies got engaged, and as they were strolling down the street excitedly planning their wedding they passed a drugstore. "Excuse me" the man said to the clerk, "Do you sell medicine for memory problems?" "Sure" replied the clerk "all kinds." "How about for arthritis?" "Yup" replied the clerk. "Wheelchairs, walkers, adult diapers?" "Yeah", replied the clerk, all kinds. "OK excellent" said the man "because we are getting married next month, and we want to use you as our Bridal Registry."
************************************************** ********************