[Bill-n-Brillo]

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
__________________________________________________ __________

Bill

[skyguy79]

The politician wouldn't give a speach. He didn't have a platform to stand on!

[skyguy79]

What type of blood do they have in Toronto? Type aye!

[Taltarzac725]

What do you call a lemon stuck in someone's driveway-- a horseless carriage!

[Taltarzac725]

What do you call an out-of-gas golf cart driving Villager stuck in a tunnel-- out of sight, out of mind.

[Taltarzac725]

What's a prime thoroughbreed in the Villages called-- a Morse horse, of course!

[jsw14]

People who fall in love with there money are "Dough-Nut's"

[eweissenbach]

Okay, I'm gonna hafta ask all youse to step away from the eggs - these are bad yolks.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by eweissenbach

Okay, I'm gonna hafta ask all youse to step away from the eggs - these are bad yolks.

"I resemble
that remark!"

[skyc6]

STOPPPPPPP!!!!! I can't stand it anymore!!!

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by skyc6

STOPPPPPPP!!!!! I can't stand it anymore!!!

"Coochie-coochie-coo!"

[Taltarzac725]

Kojak writes a book about hunting rabbits--

Hare today, gone tomorrow.

Fatal Attraction nutcase writes book about rabbits--

Hare today, soup tommorow.

Bogart writes a book about barbering--

Slick hair today, oil slick tomorrow.

[Pturner]

I used to have a fear of hurdles. But I got over it.

[Taltarzac725]

Eight people in a golf cart bewitches red-faced TOTVers!

All the grace on TOTV from the resident TOTV cheerleadering girl.

Only the brave venture into lair of the rich lion on the political forum.