[tkret]

This Northern and Western boy just received this and wondered if you relate to any:


North and South
The North has Bloomingdale's,
The South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives;
The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names;
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races;
The South has stock car races.

North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has craw fish.

The North has the rust belt;
The South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .
In the South: -- If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live
for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... do
not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is
plural possessive

Get used to hearing, 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or
'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper!

Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay
out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go
there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they
are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, they have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think
they will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits!

Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life
will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.

Your kin would get a kick out of it too


Gene

[Village Kid 2]

And y'all's point is? Tkret, we'll have y'all southernized in no time, boy. Hurry on down now, y'heah?

Native VK2

[tkret]

Originally Posted by Village Kid

And y'all's point is? Tkret, we'll have y'all southernized in no time, boy. Hurry on down now, y'heah?

Native VK2

Love your reply, Village Kid.... got me chuckling! :joke: Thanks for the invitation and the encouragement. My relocation will take place soon (within 6 months)

Gene

[SteveZ]

Y'all come back soon now, y'hear!

There are good places to live and great places to live - the South is both!

[tkret]

Originally Posted by SteveZ

Y'all come back soon now, y'hear!

There are good places to live and great places to live - the South is both!

Sounds good to me SteveZ. I can agree!

Gene