[lightworker888]

Explains clearly why TV is so popular!


Special Places to Retire:
You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
OR

You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

OR
You can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ...
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR
You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco ...
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.
OR

You can retire to the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."
It's important to know the difference, too.
OR

You can retire to Salt Spring Island, where:

1. You can choose from one GP and two hundred and forty Yoga instructors.
2. You don’t need to get your hair cut, just have lots of rubber bands (men and women).
3. Recycling is an art form.
4. Everyone sells “organic eggs” at the end of their driveway.
5. Vancouver’s homeless take up residence over the summer.
6. The four seasons are : Wet and Cold, Really Wet and Cold, Drought, and Fire
OR

You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
OR

You can retire to the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
OR

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


LW888

[Parker]

You hurt me! Laughed too hard.

[Cgirmo]

Oh my..the midwest was spot on!

[DianeM]

New York was on the money .......... and I miss it.

[Sagitarius 6]

Very Very Funny, Because it is all so true.

[jane032657]

I am SO curious how you came up with Salt Spring Island, British Columbia where I lived for 5 years. I was the Executive Director for the multi social service agency for the five Southern Gulf Islands-Salt Spring, Pender, Mayne, Galiano and Saturna. I operated as one of my programs the Food Bank, it doubled in need in summer. Our parking lot used to get full of vans and pick ups with groups of young people coming to camp on the Island for the summer and everyone needed elastics but yet so did I, we all had long hair!. It is true that is has a large contingency of various complementary therapists of every type which is really amazing and few doctors, though there is a hospital. I used to buy the organic eggs at the end of those driveways. I will say however that Salt Spring gets more sun than Vancouver because of where it is situated and it has magnificent weather during a good part of the year and less rainfall. It is an extraordinary place to reside. It was great having a coffee by the ocean every day before work. It also has the largest number of artists per capita in North America. The drawback was running all the social service/mental health/substance abuse and family counseling programs, as well as being an elected school trustee, I knew everything that was going on with almost everyone (population 10,000 in winter and doubles with tourists in summer). I moved my kids off the Island after five years before high school started so they would have more opportunities and choices. Great to live with young children or if you are older. Not a place for teens if you want them to have opportunities. A lot of kids die in car accidents on the curvy roads at nigt, and have drinking and partying as their #1 activity and not too much else unless they leave the Island.

[lightworker888]

Jane, the friend who emailed me the first list has a sister who is moving to SSI and she emailed the addendum. I have a client who lived on the Island and is a writer and others who have visited or yearned to live there. all in the arts field. It sounded like a great artists retreat similar to the Cape Cod one on the east coast (can't remember the name of the town) that was a great tourist spot as well as a back to the earth community. They are sort of like Findhorn in Scotland I would think.

LW888

[jane032657]

Sounds like you have some fun friends! I lived there 1993-1998. Loved every minute of it! Only accessible by float plane and ferry and boat, a great retreat for anyone!