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-   -   The Thread About NOTHING (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/just-fun-109/thread-about-nothing-251648/)

Barefoot 04-11-2019 10:37 AM

Since BK has been posting jokes, here is one that is NOTHING but hilarious IMHO.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment over the march break: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.

Janie, do you have a story to share?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

Barefoot 04-11-2019 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madbadger (Post 1640246)
Sitting around doing nothing reading nothing.

The name Madbadger is NOTHING but funny. :welcome:

BK001 04-11-2019 10:49 AM

LOL. Thanks. Barefoot, if for nothing more than jokes, you and I get along very well.

BK001 04-11-2019 10:58 AM

So DH is nothing but cooking and making soup today. I guess he wants to prove that he can turn out a better meal (which he can) than the one he had yesterday. (See my posts in New Vietnamese Restaurant). He is still carping about it. LOL

So the extra large, extra juicy Hamburger Deluxe that I feel I owe him will have to wait until tomorrow.

ColdNoMore 04-11-2019 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barefoot (Post 1640864)
Since BK has been posting jokes, here is one that is NOTHING but hilarious IMHO.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment over the march break: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.

Janie, do you have a story to share?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

AWESOME!


:1rotfl:...:1rotfl:...:1rotfl:



I think I NOTHING but...know her.
:D

Kenswing 04-11-2019 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barefoot (Post 1640864)
Since BK has been posting jokes, here is one that is NOTHING but hilarious IMHO.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment over the march break: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.

Janie, do you have a story to share?'

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

Of course she was NOTHING but a Marine.. :clap2:

Kenswing 04-11-2019 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BK001 (Post 1640874)
So DH is nothing but cooking and making soup today. I guess he wants to prove that he can turn out a better meal (which he can) than the one he had yesterday. (See my posts in New Vietnamese Restaurant). He is still carping about it. LOL

So the extra large, extra juicy Hamburger Deluxe that I feel I owe him will have to wait until tomorrow.

I have a 7lb pork butt in the crock pot. It'll be NOTHING but pulled pork sandwiches later tonight. There's plenty if he still hasn't recovered from yesterday's meal. lol

BK001 04-11-2019 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenswing (Post 1640915)
I have a 7lb pork butt in the crock pot. It'll be NOTHING but pulled pork sandwiches later tonight. There's plenty if he still hasn't recovered from yesterday's meal. lol

Salt in the Wounds. LOL - I would nothing but love to come over but you invited DH -- and, the only thing that he doesn't eat is Pork (and now Vietnamese food) -- HaHa -- Poor man cannot catch a break!

Kenswing 04-11-2019 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BK001 (Post 1640940)
Salt in the Wounds. LOL - I would nothing but love to come over but you invited DH -- and, the only thing that he doesn't eat is Pork (and now Vietnamese food) -- HaHa -- Poor man cannot catch a break!

Of course you are NOTHING but invited. In my world if you invite one spouse the other is invited by default. Unless of course it's to s a stag party.. Even then some of the wives are invited.. :1rotfl:

Nucky 04-11-2019 03:50 PM

BK you got NOTHING but competition. Barefooterer is creeping up on you! I love it. Just in a Nick Of Time! I've been out all day. Going for a ride up to the Phillips Pool up on Route 42. Just beautiful up that way and the nicest people. I wonder whatever happened to our friend BruceNelson? He was considering a move? I wonder?

Gotta check out the answer to the Comedian thing when I get back BK. Need someone new blood to check out on Youtuberoonie. Thanks, Kiddo but I'm sure you're funnier than them.

Nucky 04-11-2019 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenswing (Post 1640942)
Of course you are NOTHING but invited. In my world if you invite one spouse the other is invited by default. Unless of course it's to s a stag party.. Even then some of the wives are invited.. :1rotfl:

I'd be on my way but we have two obstrickles I mean obstaricians, I mean two gynok, ah forget it. I NOTHING but couldn't get a ticket in time. We just got back from Taco Bell with the Chulupa Sample Box. Not to bad but it tastes a little like Vietnamese food. I'd rather have the Pork!

I was on fire today helping a friend fix a Windows 95 HP computer. Then hooking up his AT&T wireless house phones to his cell phone. Yup. I am not really sure how I did that but I'm relentless.

Just when I thought I was in the clear he said how about one more thing, sure bring it on. His Samsung SIII was trying to download a English Language Program for over a year. I YouTubed it and transported the phone home and signed into my WiFi and Bada Bing, it fixed itself in under a minute. It feels so good when things go smoothly. Not everything is troubling. He was NOTHING but more Happier Than A Clam At High Tide! Me Too! :blahblahblah:

Kenswing 04-11-2019 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nucky (Post 1641021)
I'd be on my way but we have two obstrickles I mean obstaricians, I mean two gynok, ah forget it. I NOTHING but couldn't get a ticket in time. We just got back from Taco Bell with the Chulupa Sample Box. Not to bad but it tastes a little like Vietnamese food. I'd rather have the Pork!

I was on fire today helping a friend fix a Windows 95 HP computer. Then hooking up his AT&T wireless house phones to his cell phone. Yup. I am not really sure how I did that but I'm relentless.

Just when I thought I was in the clear he said how about one more thing, sure bring it on. His Samsung SIII was trying to download a English Language Program for over a year. I YouTubed it and transported the phone home and signed into my WiFi and Bada Bing, it fixed itself in under a minute. It feels so good when things go smoothly. Not everything is troubling. He was NOTHING but more Happier Than A Clam At High Tide! Me Too! :blahblahblah:

Windows 95? Does NOTHING like that really exist anymore? :1rotfl:

Taltarzac725 04-12-2019 07:40 AM

Utah-- 24; Wisconsin-- 1,641; Washington-- 180; Maine-- 529.
 
Villages households which hail from these six states are listed in today's The Villages Daily Sun on A4 and for NOTHING.

Delaware-- 309.

One of my favorite people I met here in the Villages used to run a freight yard in northern DE. Does not seem to be much into train shows here in the Villages though.

Georgia-- 915.

Maine-- 529.

Utah-- 24.

Washington-- 180.

Wisconsin-- 1, 641.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725 (Post 1640839)
Still no Florida showing up on A4 showing the Villages' households which have people claiming their home town is in that state.

The states for 4/11/2019 are:

California-- 669.

Colorado-- 344.

Kansas-- 205.

New Jersey-- 2,541.

Washington-- 180.

West Virginia-- 282.


Need to add a NOTHING.


Taltarzac725 04-12-2019 07:54 AM

Don Rickles Has Nothing To Say About Justin Bieber | Don Rickles | Larry King Now Ora TV - YouTube

Don Rickles has NOTHING to say.

Taltarzac725 04-12-2019 08:03 AM

814 views of NOTHING 4/11/2019- 4/12/2019.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725 (Post 1640837)
NOTHING for 4/11/2019 has 276,232 views as of the 8:55 AM EST count.

276, 232
275, 521

24 hour count for 8:55 AM EST period from 4/10/2019 to 4/11/2019 is 711. :bigbow:

277, 046
276, 232.

814 views of NOTHING for the 8:55 AM 24 hour cycle. Looking good! :a040:


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