[ijusluvit]

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior.
"I thought this was the day you spent with your family."
"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother.
We try to play golf as often as we can.
You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to
Christ."


"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed.
"So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the Sister.
"In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"
" Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
"You must tell me all about it!"


"Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster 540 yard
Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green and I hit the drive
of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...
and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"


"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister.

"While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel
runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother.
"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister.
"And I was so proud of myself!


And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk
swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my
ball still clutched in its paws!"
"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.


"No, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because
as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started
struggling, and the hawk dropped it right there on the green, and the
ball popped out of its paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the
cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said:
"You missed the f***** putt, didn't you?"