[Papa_lecki]

Going through the exact same thing with my parents. My sister WAS taking the brunt of the stress.

If you (or they) have the money, get them into assisted living. We are lucky and our parents can do independent living.

The stress on you and spouse are not worth it - you are bringing on your own health issues by doing this.

[macawlaw]

I was on a team of three to make healthcare decisions for a gentleman who could no longer make his own decisions, but let us know ahead of time that he wanted to remain in his home.

We hired round-the -clock nurses through a nursing agency. This was in Ohio, so I don’t know any organizations for you to contact. The local Council on Aging might have a list? Good luck.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by macawlaw

I was on a team of three to make healthcare decisions for a gentleman who could no longer make his own decisions, but let us know ahead of time that he wanted to remain in his home.

We hired round-the -clock nurses through a nursing agency. This was in Ohio, so I don’t know any organizations for you to contact. The local Council on Aging might have a list? Good luck.

We had an excellent worker with Trusted Home Care but they seemed smaller than Right at Home. The excellent worker had some health problems of her own and her replacements often left a lot to be desired. Right at Home has a lot of alternatives if so-and-so does not work out.

There are a lot of houses near us getting some kind of home health care visitors.

We are in the Villages.

[LuvNH]

Originally Posted by Fastskiguy

We haven’t made any progress on finding hard core nursing are but we’ve got one in rehab at the moment and are trying to plan for (hopefully) coming home. Does anybody have a company or person who could help us with our bathroom situation? We think we need a taller toilet and bars along side it so they can get on and off by themselves. Father in law is 230# so we need heavy duty mobility bars (or whatever they are called). Thanks

Joe

Moen makes the bars you are looking for. Our bars were put in by someone who advertises in the Sun, or did when we needed bars. They are inserted into the wall and have something similar to a fan that opens up anchoring them safely into the wall. My husband is very slim and we still needed one at the toilet, three in the shower area and one to get across the room.

I wish you well and hope you find help. I am a 24/7 caregiver for my husband (a labor of love), but it is very difficult and extremely tiring.

I do know from experience, that even with long term care insurance the carers are not great.

[Fastskiguy]

I want to thank everybody for the info and suggestions, you guys are really great!

It looks like our situation may be sorta working itself out. Father in law has been in and out with a compression fracture in his spine, getting booted from rehab on Saturday (2 days from now). He can walk....with a lot of assistance. He can get to the toilet...but again, not without a lot of assistance. We don't feel like we can bring him home in this condition....he needs to be able to get to the bathroom by himself 6-8 times daily and that is just not possible right now.

We thought about converting the living area to a "bedroom" and getting 24/7 help but it is really tough out there to get a reliable team you can count on. We are getting uncovered shifts now at only 6-8 hours per day!

So we are pivoting to looking for a facility. We think...though can't really be sure because of dementia....that they would like to be together at this point and since mother in law definitely needs a memory care facility, that's where we're looking.

So I guess I'd like to hijack my own thread here and ask....what's the best memory care facility in the area? We're out of pocket pay but let's assume we've got some money to spend for a high end place. We'd like to find a place fast....but he can chill at rehab for a few days on a cash basis if we need to. We're visiting a few places tomorrow. Does anybody have a recommendation?

Thanks again!!

Joe

[macawlaw]

We helped narrow the search on where to visit by looking at the inspection scores with comments. They are online, but I forget where and what they are called. Also, once at a place I asked to see the family/resident comment sheets that facilities are required to keep (at least in Ohio). One place told me that they did not have to do a survey and I turned around and walked out. Another place gave me the run-around and finally said that it would be available later. I turned around and walked out. Ask what the staffing ratio is both during the day and at night. Many places don’t staff a nurse at night and have a very low nightly ratio. This can be dangerous especially for those sundowning. Check to see if residents are stuck in their chairs with strings that will set off an alarm if they get up. This indicates a lack of adequate staff. Some places get residents up in the morning, lock their rooms, and make them stay in a lounge during the day. This, too, indicates inadequate staffing.

You may want to ask if once a person is there they move to the top of the list for a different area. For example, my dad needed to go to assisted living, and I wanted him in the same place where my mom was in skilled nursing. An opening came up in memory care, so I put dad in there. The wait for assisted living was 2 1/2 years. However, because he was already in the facility, he got into assisted living in less than a month.

Good luck during your search. It’s a hard and emotional decision.

[LuvNH]

https://sonataseniorliving.com/senio...-the-villages/

Serenades at the Villages is on Parr Drive, right next to the library across from the old high school. I know the care is superb, the cost is extremely high.

I hope you find help. The conditions under which you are living are very stressful and will impact your health.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

I've heard great things about Trinity Springs. It's right behind Hobby Lobby on that side road (103) off 466, near 301.

[Shipping up to Boston]

First off, admirable that you have taken this on and continue to. Like other posts, I can only give a suggestion based on our own experience. Granted it was in the late 80’s but like you, money at the time was not the overriding issue. My family member was taken in by my late grandmother, who herself was living in a senior age restricted community. As a family we took shifts and spent the majority of the money on private RNs. While costly, it allowed ours to pass with dignity and a constant family presence. That was just the way it was done culturally and historically. Obviously we live in different times and even with the best of finances and insurance.....it dissipates....and fast. That said, I’m a big proponent of private nursing care as the ones that assisted our family are still in touch with us and have remained close friends as a result. As one suggested earlier, please take care of yourselves as well. Wish you all the best!