Augmentation to CDC guidance:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5. Maintain social distance: If others encroach or you need to clear a line at Walmart, make fart noises. If you lost this ability in your childhood, roll your eyes, fan the air and say, “wow, bean burritos and beer sure stick with you.”
6. Use sanitizers correctly: Do not use Purell or Bacardi’s 151 if there is no toilet paper in the bathroom stall. Doing so is likely to leave a face print in the stall ceiling.
7. Avoid touching your face: Put Tabasco sauce on your fingers, then you will only touch your eyes once. (Safety note. see hint #6)
8. Use alcohol sanitizing agents: Bacardi 151 Rum’s alcohol content exceeds the CDC specified percentage to kill the virus. Swishing it around in your mouth kills 100% of the virus, that you can see. The first cleansing reduces virus anxieties, subsequent cleansings reduce all anxieties.
9.
10.