Would you continue living here after your spouse passes ?
 

The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks

Most likely my dear wife survives me and than she would decide.

Rumor has it an eligible widower will never have to cook again and will have all the females he can handle.

If I go first, she'll stay here, If she goes first, I'll stay, but I'll buy a small motorhome and do some travelling. I do miss our motorhome sometimes.

My aunt stayed after uncle passed away. She lived in her home until she had to go to care facilities near by and she is still there. She has close knit family in several states and a sister in Europe - she visited them often, but always came back to her Villages home. My mother, on the other hand, left TV when she got more vulnerable to live with my brother and his family. I am not sure what I would do.

I have thought about this way too often. You know I don't think so. I would take our daughter and move back to where ever our other daughter will land when they retire.

My heart aches for our friends who are widowed and especially during this Pandemic. I think of them and hold them close to my heart. It is so hard losing the love of your life.

I really don’t think anyone could give you the answer you are looking for. It depends on the spouse that is left, and how dependent or independent they are. TV is easy to handle a house, because you can hire a reputable company to fix it.

Some will stay due to activities here. Some for friends, or if they are a veteran because there is a clinic here.

Then there is the spouse who came to make the other happy, and would leave to go back to family.

But I will say if you are a male, your chances of being well fed, and have a active social life is pretty good.

I don’t think the decision you are looking for, really could be made until the time has come. Pre planning could only change once realizing how much your life just changed

Thank you, OP, for an interesting thread. I think about this from time to time. I don’t know. I think I’d be drawn back North near family. Maybe I’d go back and forth for a while before making a final decision. I do have great respect for those who stay. It’s a difficult decision.

Nope. She like likes it here and I could care less about this place.

I would stay, and I did!

I would move near my kids where I could be demoted back to babysitter and jack of all trades. I loved my promotion to Grandfather that The Villages move provided me. I’ll stay. I’m going to outlive everybody. The odds are against me but Forgetaboutit, I’m going to do it anyway. I’d never get married again. The reason would be obvious if you met the wife. I’m happy here!

I’ll be long gone before I crook.

Should my wife go before me I'll be out of here and back to Tennessee to be near family.

I think that either one of us would stay. Not that either of us would remarry but we just enjoy being in Florida.

My husband would stay. I would move to a condo on the beach.

Interesting. We decided on TV vs other retirement communities because my wife is a people person and likes to get involved in all sorts of activities, at least those that she can physically participate in. I on the other hand more or less keep to myself and enjoy doing things around the house. I'm not a fan of 90+ degrees with full sun and humidity but am also not a fan of snow and negative temps. We have discussed this and surprisingly my wife would go back north to be near family although that could change as you never know where family will be living at that time and I'm sure she would miss all of her friends here in TV. I would leave and most likely end up in a mountain or country area near the family but 3 or 4 hours away so it would be an easy drive for me to visit or help out if needed. If you ever watched "Log Cabin Living" that is where I would be. We have always had second/vacation homes either in the mountains or on water and do miss that environment, especially the mountains. These are our thoughts but as we all know each year we get older and things can change at any time.

My wife passed away 16 months ago and was quite lll for many years prior, early on I decided to stay and did just that. There is no better place to be with all the fabulous friends one makes here. The kids back North all have jobs and the grandkids are having fun growing up. Everyone needs companionship, someone to eat with, play (golf, cards,pickleball etc).At our age it is amazing how honest and open we are with each other and no subjects (except religion and politics) is forbidden to discuss. In my case I have no interest in getting married again or having someone move in with me or vice versa. I was married to the most wonderful woman for 53 years and still think of her daily. That being said however, life goes on and I have started a new chapter in my life with a new lady friend who thinks exactly how I do. Obviously each has to do what is best for them.

Almost eight years ago when my husband and I were touring The Villages and deciding about moving here, one of the things he said was when the time came that one of us was alone, he thought The Villages would be a great place to find peace and heal for the one left behind. He passed almost three years ago, and he was so very, very right. If it wasn't for the wonderful people we met here, who have become dear friends, I'm not sure what shape I would be in. I thank the Lord he led us to this amazing community.

It's unlikely that either of us would ever remain in TV for long if the other spouse passed.

Too much of a game changer to remain in a huge house so far away from the rest of our family...

life is for the living...that would be the time to move on to the next life chapter

I can’t say what we would do but I know several who have stayed and have rich full lives here. Each person is different.

Husband and I have discussed......of course one never knows until they are in the situation. But, as of now whomever is alone would definitely consider moving into one of the new apartments The Villages is building.

Good for you

I've been a widower for over three years. Different situation than most. No kids, no family at all, just me. Here, I have friends, acquaintances, hobbies and activities. Even if I wanted a change of scenery, geography, or climate, I'd be alone and have to start over. There are lots of sights to see by land and air travel, but The Villages will remain my home base.

Thank You for your honesty and God Bless...

My wife passed away in Nov of 2016. I soon entered the single life here and found that there were many clubs and functions just for singles. During my single life I met my current wife and true soul mate. During normal times this is the best place to be a single person

As a widower I moved here. The social activites and friendly atmoshere attracted me. I have family north and a little here. Covid and lock down has changed my outlook some as the people here have been nasty compared to a year ago, Lack of interaction is a problem if you are by yourself. I also do not see the rioting and extreme issues as in NY , Portland , Philly ,,,,,while I consider moving back I have not ....I hope as covid and the election passes things become more like they were....

My husband passed away seven years ago. We had so many wonderful friends and neighbors I couldn’t imagine leaving. My children are spread all over the country with none living in my home town. I stayed and I am so happy I did. Five years ago I met a wonderful man and I couldn’t be happier.

We've discussed this...

If I survive, I'll get a smaller villa (now in designer). :welcome:

If husband survives, he'll get cable. :a040:

when U stay in a motel U dont talk to anyone, staying in a campground U talk to everyone.

Copy that - I didn’t want to be here in the first place, but she really likes it so it was worth moving here just to make her happy. I got a F/T job outside of TV so I’d only really have to be here 2 days per week!

I lost my husband in February. Although it’s been incredibly hard during the pandemic, my friends have been so great at visiting and lifting my spirits. I’m a people person and had to put myself out there. There are good people here. Yes it’s lonely at times, but I think it would be worse somewhere else. I can’t imagine being anywhere other than the Villages I feel safe and know my friends are there for me. I hope to stay here until the end.

I know of 4 family members ( 2 husbands and wives) who retired to other 55 plus communities here in Central Florida ( not Tv). When one of the couple's spouses died she returned north. When the other couple's spouse died he remained in Central Florida. If I were to survive my wife I would return north where I still have family and long time friends, some since grammar school. Love winters here but don't care for the summer heat.

Resounding YES! I would definitely stay here as long as my health allowed. The reasons for moving here have not changed, with or without my wonderful spouse!

I'm sure many of you have heard the mantra, "Don't make any major changes for at least a year." I think that's good advice. As a minority, I believe it would be more difficult here, but on second thought, it would be challenging anywhere,

Well said and good nick to you with new life chapter!

I was unfortunately widowed at the young age of 54, working, and living elsewhere. When I retired at age 59, I knew I had to make some changes and jumpstart my life again. Some friends suggested I check out The Villages, and they came with me for a lifestyle visit. Three of us were widowed already, and we came down with another married couple. On the 5th day here, I bought a lot and decided to build. Best decision EVER! Had I not done so, I believe I would be inherently more idle and lonely. There are so many activities and clubs to join here, and one can try their hand at so many different things. I ended up in a wonderful new neighborhood and have made lifelong friends here. I cannot imagine what my life would be like, had I not made this move. Consequently, all but one of those friends from home have moved here as well. My life is full, I am blessed beyond measure, and I am truly enjoying these years. Since I moved here in 2012, we have sadly lost some people in our neighborhood. Most widows/widowers have remained here, and are busy with their lives.
Just my experience , but I hope this helps...

I am alone I’m 65 and can tell you it is not the place for a woman alone. I don’t go to bars to pick up men. The married women here think we want their husbands which is not true for the most part. Another fact is the sales clerks who work here only sell houses not relationships.
I’m hopeful I can get rid of the house, move somewhere cooler and a variety of people of every age.

I really appreciated reading your post this morning. I am a recent widower and reside in Atlanta, GA. I am in the process of moving to the Villages because from what I can tell, TV offer many many venues and opportunities socially to interact, which is what I need in my life. I look forward to further feedback from others on this topic.

You are another reason to leave this place too many like you.

I sincerely hope I find the same to true for me once i get moved down there!

We have a neighbor who has this philosophy. These old men who survive their wives are either looking for " a nurse or a purse."