I should be used to rude people by now, but!!!
 

I live in one of the villages where the roads are being resurfaced. This morning the crew re-surfaced with tar our road, it looks great and the job they did is excellent. I was in my garage when I heard a woman screaming at someone, so being slightly nosey I got up to look. A woman in a car was giving a young man hell because he would not let her through, she sat there yelling and screaming at him for some time and then finally took off and drove through to wherever she was headed.

I have lived here long enough to know that people are rude and I should be used to it, but I never get used to the ignorance often shown here in TV.

What is it within us that allows us to feel we can speak to people in this way, I will never understand it.:ohdear:

Believe me I've been here nearly 9 years and so rude behavior is nothing new to me. The worse I've seen is in the grocery stores and parking lots. Never understood the hostility and meanness of some of these people.:ohdear:

Not sure why but whenever someone is intentionally rude I automatically assume they probably have some kind of mental illness. Road rage etc. I just avoid them or treat them as asylum escapees. Never take it personally.

As people get older, they become more like themselves.

That is not as confusing as it sounds. During our younger years we develop techniques and safeguards against letting those parts of our personalities show through that would be construed by many as hostile, negative, patronizing, or whatever; personality traits that could hinder what we might have seen as hindering advancement in work, destructive of relationships, whatever. Some of us become quite good at it, others, not so much. But as we age, we gradually become less able to hide those traits or to control when or under what circumstances the come to the surface. The older we get, the more the real person shows through.

This is not a rationale for extreme rudeness or negative social acting-out. People might be less able to control their reactions but they can still recognize situations where they are most apt to occur and avoid them. But it does explain why we're more apt to see it here in "the bubble" than in former communities populated with younger people.

I think there is a lot of truth in this statement. Grace goes a long way. Namaste.

Very interesting theory. I think you’re on to something.

Well, I "believe" that humans are herd animals - we live in groups/societies. And so, I believe that any form of antisocial behavior is a form of mental illness. I don't believe in EVIL, I believe in mental illness. Murder is mental illness to me. Theft, fighting, etc, etc.

So, I of agree with you, but I probably take it further than you do.

Gerontology 101. In my former life I provided interventional and case-management services for vulnerable adults, most of them post-retirement age.

So, all violent offenders harming or killing sane members of society are mentally ill and should be in mental institutes getting help rather than in prison?

I agree

Sooo What city in the New England states can you guess where this rude person is from......LOL

Sometimes rudeness is a perceived or personal condition. I have had two people, in this forum, apologize for being rude to me, but I never perceived what they said to me as being rude. Or, maybe rudeness is a condition of where one was raised. I was raised in a big, northeast city, not NYC though. When we first came to Florida in 1979, most of the people on the west side of the state were from the middle of the country. My wife and I were so taken aback, by how nice people were, we thought we had left the states for another country.

I had a minor in psychology. I still remember the introduction to a course in abnormal psychology. The prof stated as you read this you will think you have all these disorders and you do. It is a problem only when you can't control it and you either harm yourself or harm others.

I recall another study involving brain scans. A certain pattern indicated a mental disorder. The one doing the study, in a blind test selected out of whatever the number of scans it was those showing this problem. One of the ones he selected as clearly having this problem. WAS HIS.

New York...LOL :blahblahblah:

All of these posts are in the eye of the poster. I of course was not there.

Rude? As stated, did not see entire event. What, who, said what first? The truck, did it need to be blocking her drive.

The screamer? On her way to ??????? card game??????? Or to the hospital?????????

Reality is in the details as is usually the case.

Sad people take their bias, their prejudice with them.
HATE is a powerful yet MINDLESS emotion.

Definition of bias, prejudice we are infested with it. We are good they are bad. How truly sad where we are.

Boston

I was raised in a moderate-sized city in Western Pennsylvania. People were basically nice, assertive while not aggressive.
Then we moved to northern NJ. At first I thought people were very rude. After a couple of years I came to believe that they were guarded while trying to live their lives in very crowded circumstances. By the third year I did not expect people to act like Western Pennsylvanians. I made many friends, but it took awhile for people to warm up. They did not seem rude to me anymore.

Then we moved to Michigan. People were SO nice that, coming out of NJ, I was almost suspicious. I trained myself not to ask rhetorical questions in shops or I might be there for an hour while the answer was searched for. Still, Michiganders are great. We lived there 25 years and loved it.
Went back to Pittsburgh, where I realized my initial assessment of people there still held true. It's a nice blend of East and Midwest. (But pedestrians beware...)

I think all of this has helped me overlook certain behaviors down here that I occasionally witness. People are from all over. I try to ignore, and fortunately rudeness hasn't been addressed to me in 12 years.

As our younger son used to say (albeit usually concerning some high school misdemeanor he was in trouble for), Acknowledge and move on.

You did take a leap there. I never said what should be done. I said I believe anti-social behavior is a form of mental illness. And anti-social behavior is contextual.

For example, someone breaks into your house and is attempting to kill your family, that is mental illness. If you kill them to prevent them from killing your family, that is not a mental illness.

We currently do not understand how the mind/brain works well enough to have effective treatments. In general mental health, today boils down to treating or suppressing symptoms - mostly.

But, as I said, I do not believe in "good and evil". I believe that some people are mentally ill, and others aren't. If what you do is for your personal benefit and not society, then I believe that is a form of mental illness.

And yes, I do not believe there is any evidence that jails/prisons do more good than harm. They sort of come down to expensive crime universities. Prisons are a fairly modern invention that has never worked well. They basically isolate mentally ill people from society "for a while".

Excellent points, and post. How we interpret situations has to be, in large part, based on our previous experiences. What might be rude to some might be normal to others.

Case in point: not "rude" by any means but does illustrate this. During our first month here, my wife and I had dinner at Cracker Barrel. Upon arriving we noticed a long line at the reception podium. Not knowing how the drill went there, I asked the hostess if it was going to be a long wait, assuming she'd put our name on the list and call us, as is usually done back where I hail from.

Upon hearing my question, she replied by putting her arm around me and saying, "why, it ain't gonna be that long at all, honey".

What can you say after that?

Yup - :)

I am NOT saying I have an answer or a solution. Just my opinion.

There are a ton of issues with my philosophy - like, WHO gets to decide what is good or bad for society. (In my world, I do, but I could see some here disagreeing with that - LOL)

And does society have the right to "alter" (cure?) a person who is mentally ill?

I don't know, I just have my ill-formed opinion.

New York is NOT part of New England states.

Some of the reasons for control in earlier years is parental influence, well known that parents can keep adults in check, and when the parents' pass away, they show less restraint as there are no perceived down side from parental influence.

The other is life gets harder as you age, both mentally and physically, and that either or both can cause less emotional restraint. . . well known that CTE (concussion related brain injuries) reduces restraint, and I have had a couple of my own from 7 concussions early in life. Also, missing a medical addiction fix or crutch can cause lack of emotional restraint.

And then some are just having really bad days, not the normal but really bad, with very bad news, very bad diagnosis, and the like. . . .

So yes, as we age, seniors get cranky and funny. . . . and I have warned my kids

psych guy

Seniors do get cranky - meds, physical disabilities, etc., life is short, move on to those that make you smile.

Wait?!? What?!?

There are bad people in TV? When did that happen?

I am sure she was headed out for a good reason, but that does not give her the right to verbally abuse a young man doing a rotten job in this heat. You can make every excuse in the book for her, but rudeness is never acceptable.

As for the hospital excuse .... My husband was in the hospital THIS WEEK, it did not give me the right to verbally abuse anyone because I was scared out of my head, in fact quite the opposite.

If they was nasty before they moved here their going to be nasty period. Just cause moved in villages don’t automatically make the prefect kind and giving person. I’ll stop short there. :)

Lots of Karens here.

Most come from Midwestern states

Please explain.

And what states produce people who don't know that New York isn't a New England state?

I experienced an odd instance when I came to TV for a lifestyle visit. I was driving my golf cart according to the GPS info from The Villages app when a woman in another golf cart was crazily waving and screaming at me in a rude and hostile manner. Maybe she thought I was going to get on the turnpike or perhaps another busy road with no golf cart lane but she was gesticulating frantically. However, not with the furrowed brow of concern but with an angry face. I think she may have even flipped me off at the end!

By the way, that app isn't always correct, nor is Google maps so you have to just learn by experience and mistakes sometimes. I had discovered my error and was ready to turn around even before she started her little performance.

The people who apologized were probably Canadian...

They apologize for EVERYTHING! :1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

(And I love them for it!)

Yeah! New England wouldn't have them... :icon_wink:

I can’t get over the slightly nosy people who jump to conclusions.

Yea it was someone from the Tri-State area. What are you gonna do about it? Try living there and not be the way we can be sometimes. You would have never survived to get to The Villages. We all can't be from Walnut Grove.

Shake it off. Keep moving. Lifes too short to fuss.

Maybe the lady needed to get to a bathroom. Maybe the man was saving her from getting hit by a steamroller. Construction people can be rough. Maybe he just got ripped by another Villager, who knows.

If it was that important maybe you should have gone to help. Good point but you'll NEVER acknowledge it, EVER.

O please, the northeast out number them 10 to 1. :popcorn:

Rude
 

It’s just a little satisfying to know she’s probably got big problems with the tar on her tires and automobile, not fun to get off of various surfaces. So, there’s that.😜

I've been here 12+ years and have only witnessed that type of behavior once or maybe twice. My experience is 95% of the people here are very nice, kind and generous .

Thats just the typical ignorant people who feel the world should kiss their feet. Most have few friends since no one wants to tolerate the entitled crap attitude. The day will come when they will scream at the wrong person and find themselves spitting teeth. I sure hope Im there to witness it too.

Oh please ..... why would you go there?