[Talk Host]

In another thread about dining with friends, one poster said "nor do I dine with anyone that I do not have full intent on treating anyway. A couple of others agreed.

Is this a socially acceptable thing to do, always pick up the check?" I have done it plenty of times, but don't do it all the time. Some people have actually been offended when I make the offer. During my working years, I was in a very good position to be able to do it frequently. However, some of our friends were not as "well off" and viewed it as "charity."

Personally, I never argue when someone offers to pick up the check. I thank them as tell them how generous they are. However, we dine occasionally with a group of about 6 couples. One guy is still working and is doing very well. He always grabs the check, sometimes 5 or 6 hundred dollars. It's getting to where I am hesitant about going out with them. I don't what him doing that, and I can no longer afford to reciprocate by paying a check for 12 people.

JLK

[red tail]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

In another thread about dining with friends, one poster said "nor do I dine with anyone that I do not have full intent on treating anyway. A couple of others agreed.

Is this a socially acceptable thing to do, always pick up the check?" I have done it plenty of times, but don't do it all the time. Some people have actually been offended when I make the offer. During my working years, I was in a very good position to be able to do it frequently. However, some of our friends were not as "well off" and viewed it as "charity."

Personally, I never argue when someone offers to pick up the check. I thank them as tell them how generous they are. However, we dine occasionally with a group of about 6 couples. One guy is still working and is doing very well. He always grabs the check, sometimes 5 or 6 hundred dollars. It's getting to where I am hesitant about going out with them. I don't what him doing that, and I can no longer afford to reciprocate by paying a check for 12 people.

JLK

he probably has an expense account that covers it so why not enjoy.

[Talk Host]

Originally Posted by red tail

he probably has an expense account that covers it so why not enjoy.

Isn't that stealing from his company???

All of our employees have American Express company cards. If my business partner and I found out that they were throwing lavish dinner parties for their friends at our expense, they would be fired and maybe arrested.

JLK

[l2ridehd]

It is always somewhat of a challenge to know what is the correct thing to do. Some people always ask for separate checks. Some take turns paying. I just like to take the total, add the tip and divide by the number of people paying. But then there are some who will say "I had the XXX and that was $$$$ more or less then yours, so that doesn't always work. Best way is to decide before going out.

[red tail]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

Isn't that stealing from his company???

All of our employees have American Express company cards. If my business partner and I found out that they were throwing lavish dinner parties for their friends at our expense, they would be fired and maybe arrested.

JLK

its called entertaining potential customers or maybe a simple showing a customer appreciation. why do your emploees have ax cards. to buy gasoline?

[laryb]

When we go out with our close friends, it's pretty much understood that the bill gets split. We know that no one is going to take advantage of each other. There have been times when someone orders a bottle of wine and has told the server to bill that separately. If we're out with someone for the first time or new friends, I will sometimes grab the bill, it's just my way of saying that we enjoyed their company and hope to see them again. I've since been told that separate bills are the norm in TV, so I'll have to get use to that. Now probably like the rest of you, when we take the kids out, (2 sons, 2 daughters,their spouses, 7 grandkids) it's usually understood that Mom and Dad get the bill.

[tony]

I have an announcement. I will not be offended if Talk Host wants to pick up the check all the time.

[Pturner]

Originally Posted by tony

I have an announcement. I will not be offended if Talk Host wants to pick up the check all the time.

Bet you'd even call him the Nice Administrator.

[rjm1cc]

To encourage eating out I would go for each couple getting their own check. If I was running a restaurant I think I would have the waiters always ask if they would like separate checks. Helps break the ice if the group has not discussed and might encourage people to return in groups to the restaurant since they do not mind doing separate checks.

[Jane52]

We think deciding upon separate checks before ordering is best, especially in TV.

Incomes vary widely, and picking up the tab for the whole table can make friends/guests feel indebted to pay for the whole group the next time--which could well be something they really can't afford to do. That can be humiliating, and it also can be a temptation for people to spend beyond their means.

[Talk Host]

Originally Posted by red tail

why do your emploees have ax cards. to buy gasoline?

To pay for their food, lodging and gasoline. Not to entertain their friends at my expense.

[red tail]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

To pay for their food, lodging and gasoline. Not to entertain their friends at my expense.

sorry i confused what your employees do. i came from the travel industry and we entertained clients on a regular basis. which often times included drinking and eating. we were expected to do this. certainly never thought that anyone would think that is stealing. it was part of doing business in our industry. im sure glad i dont work for you!!!

[Talk Host]

Originally Posted by red tail

. im sure glad i dont work for you!!!

I find it interesting that people will put any label on theft to relieve themselves of the guilt. If you entertained people at your company's expense, knowing full well that they were in no way associated with business, you falsified the expense and were guilty of theft. It's no different than insurance or welfare fraud. But I understand that some people think it's alright and nobody will change their thinking.

It's amusing that you believe I am wrong for insisting that my employees not misuse their cards.

I agree with you on one thing though. I too am glad you don't work for me.

[redwitch]

Back on the subject -- the norm in TV is for separate checks. I've tried the splitting the bill thing in California and it seemed there was always someone who would take advantage of it. Had one couple who consistently ordered lobster when it wasn't their turn to pay -- of course, we all got our revenge when it happened for the third time and everyone ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. Don't know why, but they never went out to dinner with our group again. Go figure.

As to the entertaining/credit card issue -- I agree that if you're entertaining potential customers, then using a company card is the thing to do. If they're friends or someone you positively know will not be using your company, then it's theft and should be treated accordingly.

[Coconuts]

Separate checks is the norm in TV and thank goodness. Up north I was never able to get individual checks--even when nicely asked, they'd always refuse. Here, it seems that when a waiter sees a mixed group of people, they assume separate checks and seem happy to do so. I think we eat out more often knowing that we are going to get what we pay for. Sometimes someone in the group is trying to be "good" and may just order a soup or salad. There are drinkers and there are abstainers. We all feel good going out together and like that it's fair. And when we have visitors and want to pick up the tab we just tell the waiter. No fuss.