[senior citizen]

............

[archerlc]

The IGNORE option is the key. By ignoring the 10 or 12 people who want to immediately bash the poster life is much nicer. Note: I am not talking about people who have a differing opinion.

[senior citizen]

..........

[graciegirl]

I am sorry you are hurt.


A forum can be a terrible place where anonymous people who never come to gatherings to stand before others can be very cruel.


I think you are a very deep and compassionate person who loves her area and her town and is loved back.


I know I have grown to be very defensive about this place where I have met mostly wonderful people and it hurts me when someone maligns it or says things about it that are incorrect.


I have been accused of working for the developer and one person has spread rumors that my home was given to me by Gary Morse. That offends me mightily as we both have worked hard for what we have and have lived carefully and saved in order to have the things we now own.


I think that being a visitor, as opposed to being a homeowner and living year around as a villager may color our thoughts. I identify with this place. It is now MY home town. I am annoyed by people who buy here and do not think of themselves as senior citizens and who seem to have age bias against those among us that are older. It is hard not to be hurt when you are dismissed without ever having looked someone in the eye and seen their their real personality. It is worse to be misjudged because of any number of petty reasons based on unfairness.


We come here to this point in our lives having been on many separate roads and experiencing widely different things that make our personal philosophy very different from each other. We cannot agree on everything and some things always will "push a button" with us. That said, we all have so many more things in common, the one very serious one being that we have far fewer years ahead than we have behind and we have come here with the hope to find some measure of peace and joy in the years left to us. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so we all need to try to cut each other some slack, to overlook, to try to be patient and to turn the other cheek and to try to find some nugget of good in each other. It just is too much effort to be angry and to hate and to play hurtful games.


I hate when people are hurt. Please feel this honest and very genuine hug.

[Parker]

Oh but there are so many in TV and on this website who are WONDERFUL. I try to just ignore the fire-starters and focus on the vast majority. Three cheers for them! (And a BIG thumbs down for 'those few'.)

[senior citizen]

..........

[mickey100]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

I see the thread is now closed, but here goes anyway......

Writing a book???????? Never once thought of it.

Our months spent in The Villages were only positive ones, meeting genuinely nice folks.

However, if I were to publish something, it would be concerning the "APOLOGETICS" who live there....on that river in Egypt. The ones who always take the opposite side and enjoy bashing the messenger, who usually is indeed sharing something from personal experience. They seem to enjoy debate for the sake of debate.

Just for the record: Definition of APOLOGETICS. 1: systematic argumentative discourse in defense (as of a doctrine) 2: a branch of theology devoted to the defense of the divine origin. The word "apologetics" is derived from the Greek word "apologia," which means to make a defense. It has come to mean defense of the faith.

If truth be told, the reports on "crime" and such within TV, is generally initiated by longtime "resident posters" who sing the praises of TV on one hand as a perfect utopia (which it may well be) and yet are the "town criers" (meaning messengers) of break ins and such.

These "regulars" are NOT bullied and bashed and beat up when they spread potential rumors........(I can clearly see they are just concerned about their "home town" as anyone would be). In real life, people in real small towns do use their neighborhood grapevine to report to each other what is going on. That is the true value of TOTV.

What isn't so nice lately is the way a small segment zoom in on a few posters and automatically assume they do not know what they are talking about and "vent" and "rave" about that particular poster's information or shared experience.

I've learned that many of the residents are indeed much younger than ourselves, a fact that surprised me. So, many of these "viewpoints" are generational.

Their generation , now a decade or two decades younger than we are, have a totally different frame of reference for things they discuss on TOTV than we do.......

We've always been told we are "young at heart" by our adult kids' friends who are in their 30's and 40's........and believe it or not, we are quite popular with that generation...........and I think we have the wisdom of our years to know not to spread falsehoods or instigate things that have no value in the larger scheme of things......

Perhaps it's that the way we envisioned "retirement community" is not how it truly must be, based on some of the ideas residents share.

I never was a "cheerleader" and don't feel it is becoming to my age level at the moment to start............all people our age can do is share our own personal experiences from the heart.......the good, the bad and the ugly. I also do not judge the entire population of TOTV based on a handful or two handfuls of posters who like to debate in a negative way...........or constantly misinterpret or "take things out of context" from what another poster might be sharing..........

I will say it once again..........with the gorgeous weather in Florida , plus the hundreds upon hundreds of activities in The Villages, why is everyone "on" TOTV all the time? We have a good excuse up in the frozen northern tundra..........but down there? It's not the heat of the summertime now, is it? The daytime must be glorious for outdoor activities as this time of the year. 35 with sunshine is nice.
A lot better than below zero or 7 degrees above zero, that's for sure.

p.s. It's actually zero degrees outside at the moment....according to our barometer/thermometer gizmo.
But, we are escaping the huge snowfall hitting our cousins in New Jersey, Long Island, N.Y., etc.


PEACE

　


　

You've made some good points. Most of the people I've met in The Villages, are wonderful, open minded people, who are active, not on the computer all the time, and not bashing other's opinions. I honestly don't think the clique of regulars is representative of the community as a whole. TOTV does serve a purpose in communicating experiences with contractors, restaurants, etc., or spreading news information like break-ins and the like. I do take it all with a grain of salt, since we all have different standards as to what we like. And sometimes what seems to be news can be just unfounded rumor. As far as the cheerleaders you referred to - they seem to be very threatened when anyone voices something negative about their utopia. We love living here but have said time and time again, it is not perfect. I feel getting things out in the open where people can be aware and possibly change things for the better, is a good thing. There will always be those who disagree - so be it.

[senior citizen]

....................

[graciegirl]

"Sincerity is the fulfillment
of our own nature,
and to arrive at it we need
only follow our own true Self.
Sincerity is the beginning
and end of existence;
without it, nothing can endure.
Therefore the mature person
values sincerity above all things."
― Tzu-ssu


"If you find yourself criticizing other people, your probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.


Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. if they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of all the manifestations of Resistance, most only harm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well."
― Stephen Pressfield [/QUOTE]



Amen.


And Senior, what might be construed as "catering to one's minions" just might be being soft to their differences, because we don't all agree and many of us do know and like each other even if we don't share commonalities of religion or politics. We support each other out of friendship.


Another thing is that if you read this forum every day, and keep a pulse on it, it doesn't take long to pick up on those who are angry about something that no one can change and are almost always negative.


Because we ARE older we usually have more of a traditional view of life. I think that the negative people feel that somehow they are being "left out". And some carry with them wherever they go the same things that have caused them pain and loneliness in the past. Some grow and learn and some cannot change.


And some although they have faced awful obstacles are always warm and loving and accepting. It is VERY difficult to know what a person is like from the printed page. And very difficult to pick up on what is truth and what is fiction. Many come here and try to invent a new self, but that doesn't work long. If they had controversy and trouble in the past, usually it will follow them, sadly that is true.


I look forward to you coming here and spending time with some of the frequent posters. I think then you can judge for yourself.


Kind wishes,


Gracie














　

[2BNTV]

I am proud to say that I have made friends with people who have a generous spirit and a good heart, They would never do anything to hurt me, but only, to help me. I know I can confide in them without having any fear, that it will leave the confines, of their home.
1. People critize, what they don't understand.
2. Some people don't feel well, and tend to bitch.
3. Maybe and this is a stretch, people feel they are coming closer to the end of their life's, and have not made peace with themselves.
4. You can always walk away, form the grouches!!!

I agree with Gracie that almost all people, have kindness in their hearts. You just have to look harder for it, in other people.

I look forward to meeting you, and eat some of those Italian recipes.

Joe

[Golfingnut]

I have not been to crispers for a a few months and must get back in the habit.

[Trayderjoe]

Previous posters have made some great points, as there are posters who revel in the anonymity of a forum, attacking others for their opinions. Welcome to the internet version of the “bully”. Your opinion is NEVER wrong if the opinion is based upon facts as you know them. The facts can be in error, and one might change their opinion when “new facts” become known. I don’t have to agree with another’s opinion, but perhaps either of us lack some facts of which the other may be aware. A constructive dialogue around dissenting opinions would be ideal.

I have been “flamed” as well, and choose to ignore the source since an internet bully’s strength comes from validating their attack. Please don’t let the “minority” rule the “majority”, use the ignore feature or skip over their replies-they aren’t worth the digital code they are written with or your time.

Have a great time, and btw Senior Citizen, I am freezing up in Michigan as you are out East. I wish that I was down in Florida right now enjoying the sunshine!

[Bogie Shooter]

So many questions, so little time............................

[fromct]

Reading this post brought to mind the quote " Never explain yourself - your friends don't need it and those who dislike you won't believe it"

As it turns out, someone else was also thinking about that topic today in the link below - I found it an interesting read.....

Russell Bishop: Why You Should Never Defend, Explain Or Justify

Also, please indulge me if I revisit a post by 'old coach' about the glass 1/2 full or empty: The fact that I am here in this place at this time in my life already has the glass 1/2 full. Add to that being healthy enough to enjoy most of the activities that I'm interested in, and I'm at 75%. And topping all that off with having the resources to support a comfortable life style and I'm at 99% almost every day. The other 1% has a way of repeating itself but almost always resolving itself over time - and that includes everything I've read so far about what's wrong with living here. I thank myself first for all of this being true but know that many people have helped me get here and that many more will be needed to keep it all going. My current favorie saying is one I modified from the Dos Equis ads that close with "Stay thirsty my friends" Mine is 'Stay grateful my friends" Make this another great day!

Pete

[mickey100]

[QUOTE=senior citizen;816319]….I can't stand denial when it is obviously a reality. Don't they realize that people can see right through their desire to be popular by supporting their minions?

Guess I can't understand people's intolerance to others way of thinking or questioning......and then to attack that person's state (when I come right back and agree that things aren't what they once were)…..[/Quote=senior citizen;816319]

I'm with you. Some of these people are very intolerant to say the least. If one voices something negative about The Villages they are labeled "angry", and "they" are the ones with the problem. Sigh. Don't take it to heart - we know who they are and we just ignore them.The Villages is wonderful and we love it here, but we are realistic about the (few) aspects that are not quite up to snuff, in our opinion anyways.