[TNLAKEPANDA]

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition.
"Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.
The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said...
"Clean my house."

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by TNLAKEPANDA

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition.
"Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.
The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said...
"Clean my house."

Ouch. Saw some attractive female house cleaners on Morven Park Way yesterday while walking Beau and talking with the owner walking Bo Derelict. Funny name for a pooch. Named after Bo Derek but modified due to behavior I suppose.

[villagetinker]

I liked it, brought a smile to my face, thanks for sharing. I always enjoy a good joke.

[pivo]

Italian and Chinese
An italian and a chinese entered a chocolate store. as they were busy looking the chinese stole 3 chocolate bars.
as they left the store, the chinese said to the italian man I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. you can't beat that.
italian replied you want to see something better, let's go back in the store and I'll
show you real stealing.
so they went to the counter and the italian said to the storekeeper do you want to see magic..
the storekeeper said yes.
italian said give me one chocolate bar,
the storekeeper gave him one, and he ate it.
the italian asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well, he asked for a third and fininhed that as well.
the storekeeper said but where's the magic.
the italian replied, check in my friends pocket, and you will find all three.

[pivo]

I woke up this morning at 8'clock and could smell something was wrong, I got
downstairs and found my wife face down on the kitchen floor... I panicked,,
I didn't know what to do,,,then remembered, Mcdonalds serves breakfast
until 11:30

[dbussone]

Ok-the last several posts are bad on several accounts. Let's see, I'm Italian- and I like chocolate. And I don't like the McD's at Colony.

Other than that I'm fine with this thread.

[jblum315]

An oldie but a goody

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by pivo

I woke up this morning at 8'clock and could smell something was wrong,
I got downstairs and found my wife face down on the kitchen floor...
I panicked, I didn't know what to do,,,then remembered, Mcdonalds serves breakfast until 11:30

Pivo, you are bad! But I have to admit I laughed when I read the punchline.

[MikeV]

Originally Posted by pivo

I woke up this morning at 8'clock and could smell something was wrong, I got
downstairs and found my wife face down on the kitchen floor... I panicked,,
I didn't know what to do,,,then remembered, Mcdonalds serves breakfast
until 11:30

I would have gone to IHOP for pancakes.

[Bay Kid]

Originally Posted by MikeV

I would have gone to IHOP for pancakes.

Now Mike can eat anywhere he pleases!

[pivo]

russian funeral

The man walked out of the bar and noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching
the nearby cemetery, a black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one, Behind the second was a solitary russian man walking a dog on a leash, behind him a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn"t stand the curiosity, he respectfully approached the russian man walking the dog and said,
I'm so sorry for your loss, and this might be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a russian funeral like this, whose funeral is it.

Ny wifes,

What happened to her,
She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her,

He inquired further and asked who is in the second hearse,,
the russian man answered, my mother in law, she was trying to help my wife when the
dog turned on her,

a very poignant and touching moment of russian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men

Can I borrow the dog,

The man replied, "get in line"