[Sassafrass67]

We have been visiting in laws for just about 10 years and purchased a vacation home 3 years ago here in TV. I have been reading Talk of the Villages for advice on restaurants, landscapers etc. The issue that concerns me is that being in our late 40s and early 50s we are not made to feel welcome by our fellow Villagers. We wave, which I thought was the polite thing to do in America's friendliest home town, just to be ignored. When we go to the pool we are basically ignored. We are not your stereotypical "problem" adult children living here. We add to the economy, we maintain our home and you won't find us being obnoxious town squares. What exactly are we not doing correctly.

[Grandfinch]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

We have been visiting in laws for just about 10 years and purchased a vacation home 3 years ago here in TV. I have been reading Talk of the Villages for advice on restaurants, landscapers etc. The issue that concerns me is that being in our late 40s and early 50s we are not made to feel welcome by our fellow Villagers. We wave, which I thought was the polite thing to do in America's friendliest home town, just to be ignored. When we go to the pool we are basically ignored. We are not your stereotypical "problem" adult children living here. We add to the economy, we maintain our home and you won't find us being obnoxious town squares. What exactly are we not doing correctly.

We have been coming here for ten years. Bought and live here now for over 5 years. I always smile and wave at the same time. Almost always receive a return friendly greeting. So for us it is the worlds Freindlyist Home Town.

[CathyandSteveG]

wow...how would anyone know exactly how old you are? and why would it matter?

I dont like reading things like this.....

[Doro22]

People usually ignore me also when I go to my local pool. I don't know why.

[Mr.Big]

I find most people in TV very friendly. Yet, like everywhere, there are "grumps". Just ignore them; you will find many friendly people in TV. Age doesn't mean anything to me , except that I am getting old!

[fred53]

You will come across curmudgeons...and without seeing and meeting you I could not offer any explanation as to why you have received less than neighborly greetings...perhaps one of you(or both)has a plethora of tattoos(just saying)...perhaps one of you wears your shorts so that your undies show....sure folks shouldn't be judged by their appearance, but first impressions matter to many...

The fact is you could just be unlucky...been here a few years and while quite a few people wave and smile just as many do not...I do not base my opinion on who I pass in TV's, but who I actually meet...in a older aged community many folks suffer from physical and mental problems and are preoccupied dealing with those....before you judge them know what they're going through...eg: don't be upset if you don't get a wave and a smile...

[Villager Joyce]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

We have been visiting in laws for just about 10 years and purchased a vacation home 3 years ago here in TV. I have been reading Talk of the Villages for advice on restaurants, landscapers etc. The issue that concerns me is that being in our late 40s and early 50s we are not made to feel welcome by our fellow Villagers. We wave, which I thought was the polite thing to do in America's friendliest home town, just to be ignored. When we go to the pool we are basically ignored. We are not your stereotypical "problem" adult children living here. We add to the economy, we maintain our home and you won't find us being obnoxious town squares. What exactly are we not doing correctly.

You asked so I will give you my observations. My husband and I are old enough to collect Social Security (oh happy days). We smile, wave or speak to everyone we see. More than half respond in kind. The others don't. IMHO a small number of the younger people in TV are real quick to throw out the "we are young and nobody likes me" card. The majority of the younger people on this forum are fabulous with interesting and current thinking. The others aren't. Some people, young and old, are crabby not friendly people. We are all not "your" stereotype old farts. We have lived interesting lives, done things we should and should not have done.

[Roaddog53]

We call them "Walters" from Jeff Dunham's puppet. The looks on their faces are priceless. My wife looks very young for her age and she gets the look, even some remarks as we call it like "What are you doing here?" But I would think in general many people smile or wave. If not just move on and enjoy it here anyway. Don't let them bring your friendliness down to their level.

[redwitch]

Many pools are very cliquish. Your best bet for meeting people at pools is to go to the newer ones. The problem with that is most of those folks want to meet people in their own neighborhood. Another issue at the pools if you're younger is jealousy-- some women don't want to be reminded of what their bodies used to look like.

When I first moved here, everyone waved to each other. Now, not so much. Don't let that stop you. There's still enough of us around who will happily return the wave.

Two easy ways to join in a conversation -- give a sincere compliment, ask a question. I've found this works beautifully at the squares, the pool, restaurants, even some of the more "closed" clubs.

Don't give up. It took me about a year to find folks who would accept me as I am and probably two more years before I really called anyone a friend.

[Brendanyc]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

We have been visiting in laws for just about 10 years and purchased a vacation home 3 years ago here in TV. I have been reading Talk of the Villages for advice on restaurants, landscapers etc. The issue that concerns me is that being in our late 40s and early 50s we are not made to feel welcome by our fellow Villagers. We wave, which I thought was the polite thing to do in America's friendliest home town, just to be ignored. When we go to the pool we are basically ignored. We are not your stereotypical "problem" adult children living here. We add to the economy, we maintain our home and you won't find us being obnoxious town squares. What exactly are we not doing correctly.

I am surprised by your "unwelcome wagon". Both my husband and I are in our early fifties. He 52 and me 51.... although I look significantly younger! LOLOL In any case, we have been welcomed by our local community (street) and I frequent the Bonita pool and everyone has been warm and welcoming. I have been told that there are other pools within the neighboring villages that are not as "warm and fuzzy" and do tend to be clicky but I have not gone to them so that is simply what others have told me. Sometimes when residents see people who look significantly younger they assume (wrongfully so) that one is visiting. I have found that introducing myself, telling others that I am a permanent resident, and then asking for advice (about anything... and believe me the list is long) goes a long way.
Don't ever let others change who you are. Keep waving and offering a daily hello. Sometimes people just need a "gentle" reminder. It is what makes the TV the absolute best place to retire!!!
CONSIDER THIS A WARM WELCOME!!!!!!

[PammyJ]

I have experienced lots of friendliness here! Unless I am a really old looking 51 year old and they think I should be here.....hmmmmm!

[Sassafrass67]

Tattoos.......we don't have. We just want to blend in and meet friends for when we can move here full time. We Just gauge this feeling on our relationships with neighbors and friends at home. We have a very fun neighborhood back home and enjoy "wine nights on the porch". We will just keep waving and hope to meet friendly people in the future. We do appreciate the recommendations of restaurants and contractor services.

[Sassafrass67]

Thank You To Everyone for their advice. It Took me three years to Join TOTV, I enjoy keeping Up with the community, we really cannot wait to spend more time here.

[Brendanyc]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

Tattoos.......we don't have. We just want to blend in and meet friends for when we can move here full time. We Just gauge this feeling on our relationships with neighbors and friends at home. We have a very fun neighborhood back home and enjoy "wine nights on the porch". We will just keep waving and hope to meet friendly people in the future. We do appreciate the recommendations of restaurants and contractor services.

I have no tattoos either, however, I have been known to have a mohawk in my earlier days created at "Astor Place" in NYC. LOL.... My mamma always told me.. "Do what you want. Wear what you want. Shave what you want (inclusive of hair), BUT don't do anything permanent." I've lived by the recommendation!!!! LOL

[Sassafrass67]

Thank You FoR the Welcome