The following was posted by someone on the regular forums, but the moderator killed it in about 2 minutes.
I thought it was too good to let die, so here it is, reprinted, but without permission of the author.

"FYI.....just got this from a "reliable source" via an unauthorized email server located in the basement of the cook of the restaurant formerly known as "Las Tapas".....

A very important rules change!

There will no longer be a penalty stoke for hitting a ball into the water or out of bounds following the recent FBI ruling re: emails.

The USGA, the R&A and the PGA, after a private meeting with Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch on her plane, have stated that: "Your opponent must prove that you 'intended' to hit the ball into these hazards in order for there to be a penalty."

Carelessness or ignorance is therefore NOT intent!!!

Thus, the new "No intent-No penalty" stroke ruling. This will be known in the future as the FBI or "first ball inbounds" rule. "

Catholics may understand the joke more easily. In our faith their are mortal sins and venial sins.

A mortal sin requires three conditions:

The object is grave matter.
It is committed with full knowledge.
It is done with deliberate consent.

Originally Posted by Guest

The following was posted by someone on the regular forums, but the moderator killed it in about 2 minutes.
I thought it was too good to let die, so here it is, reprinted, but without permission of the author.

"FYI.....just got this from a "reliable source" via an unauthorized email server located in the basement of the cook of the restaurant formerly known as "Las Tapas".....

A very important rules change!

There will no longer be a penalty stoke for hitting a ball into the water or out of bounds following the recent FBI ruling re: emails.

The USGA, the R&A and the PGA, after a private meeting with Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch on her plane, have stated that: "Your opponent must prove that you 'intended' to hit the ball into these hazards in order for there to be a penalty."

Carelessness or ignorance is therefore NOT intent!!!

Thus, the new "No intent-No penalty" stroke ruling. This will be known in the future as the FBI or "first ball inbounds" rule. "

Haha!! Whoever caught this and "saved" it.....Thanks!! Never thought it would be so incendiary as to get pulled from the General Forum!! Moderators apparently on the edgy side given all that's gone on. At any rate....just so you know, it was NavyNJ who posted this gem, after getting it from my cousin back in Ohio, also a suffering Browns fan for life!! lol Cheers!!

Originally Posted by Guest

Haha!! Whoever caught this and "saved" it.....Thanks!! Never thought it would be so incendiary as to get pulled from the General Forum!! Moderators apparently on the edgy side given all that's gone on. At any rate....just so you know, it was NavyNJ who posted this gem, after getting it from my cousin back in Ohio, also a suffering Browns fan for life!! lol Cheers!!

Then you'll like this one as well, saved from chat site at Yahoo-----again, author unknown

"I am a liberal, and a member of golf’s lower 99%. I am an indifferent golfer, and there’s no way I could ever make it to the professional level. I will never put in the practice time to be the best. I will never have the shots, skills, or mental toughness to “make it” in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it. However, I am a part of the golfing community and, as such, feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game, have better equipment and are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money. Where's my share? I’m a Victim! The top 1% should pay for my club memberships and green fees and lessons, buy me new clubs, balls, clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are “The Rich.” The whole system should be changed to accommodate people like me. I think we should get together and occupy a golf course and demand that those who are better at what they do, pay for us who generally suck. Hell, during this election year we may even get a law or two passed by legislators who want our votes. Don’t mention this to tennis players. They'll try to cash in..."

Originally Posted by Guest

Haha!! Whoever caught this and "saved" it.....Thanks!! Never thought it would be so incendiary as to get pulled from the General Forum!! Moderators apparently on the edgy side given all that's gone on. At any rate....just so you know, it was NavyNJ who posted this gem, after getting it from my cousin back in Ohio, also a suffering Browns fan for life!! lol Cheers!!

I liked it, and just in case you wonder who THIS is, it's me, Gracie.

Originally Posted by Guest

Then you'll like this one as well, saved from chat site at Yahoo-----again, author unknown

"I am a liberal, and a member of golf’s lower 99%. I am an indifferent golfer, and there’s no way I could ever make it to the professional level. I will never put in the practice time to be the best. I will never have the shots, skills, or mental toughness to “make it” in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it. However, I am a part of the golfing community and, as such, feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game, have better equipment and are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money. Where's my share? I’m a Victim! The top 1% should pay for my club memberships and green fees and lessons, buy me new clubs, balls, clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are “The Rich.” The whole system should be changed to accommodate people like me. I think we should get together and occupy a golf course and demand that those who are better at what they do, pay for us who generally suck. Hell, during this election year we may even get a law or two passed by legislators who want our votes. Don’t mention this to tennis players. They'll try to cash in..."

too long to read

According to the new director of FBI, if you don't Amit to it it you won't be recommended for prosecution cause your to dumb (careless) to know better therefore not intentional. So lesson learned DON'T admit to anything! Too bad the general wasn't dumb (careless) enough to know that!

Originally Posted by Guest

too long to read

You must be a liberal. No slur intended.

Originally Posted by Guest

You must be a liberal. No slur intended.

What a waste of band width.

Originally Posted by Guest

What a waste of band width.

Nothing compared to the waste of bandwidth by MSNBC

...or of Fox Noise.

I had to put that in just to be fair and balanced.

The top 1% own the golf courses.

The game is going away because people cannot afford to play.

Forbes Welcome

More golf courses closed than opened in the U.S. in 2013 for the eighth straight year, according to the National Golf Foundation.

A total of 14 18-hole courses opened last year, up from 13.5 in 2012, while 157.5 courses were closed during the year, three more than a year earlier, the Jupiter, Florida-based organization said in a statement on its website. The organization counts every nine holes as 0.5 of a course.

Since 2006, course closings have outnumbered openings after more than 4,500 courses had opened over the previous 15 years. Those courses, many of which were built as part of real estate projects, shut down as the U.S. recession led to a reduction in home sales needed to support the courses. Golf club memberships and rounds played also declined during the recession.

Of the closings, 66 percent charged less than $40 for greens fees during peak times. The closings decreased the total number of U.S. golf courses to 14,564.5, the Foundation said. Public courses made up 97 percent (151.5) of the closures, with private courses accounting for 4 percent (6). A total of 8.5 public courses opened last year, compared with 5.5 new private courses.

Originally Posted by Guest

too long to read

Dear Guest: Why would you place yourself at such a disadvantage? Why didn't you address what you believed were the flaws in the posters comments? Isn't the purpose of communication to reach understanding, balance, and hopefully resolution for the better of all mankind? Free speech and thought are a precious commodity and we Americans are either abusing it or not exercising it at all. Healthy discourse is essentially to maintain our freedoms. Free speech is guaranteed to offend someone but the price of freedom is worth it. I'll get off my soap box now

I loved the OP humor in describing not such a humorous event. Thank you

Personal Best Regards:

Originally Posted by Guest

...or of Fox Noise.

I had to put that in just to be fair and balanced.

In your case "UN-balanced."

Originally Posted by Guest

Dear Guest: Why would you place yourself at such a disadvantage? Why didn't you address what you believed were the flaws in the posters comments? Isn't the purpose of communication to reach understanding, balance, and hopefully resolution for the better of all mankind? Free speech and thought are a precious commodity and we Americans are either abusing it or not exercising it at all. Healthy discourse is essentially to maintain our freedoms. Free speech is guaranteed to offend someone but the price of freedom is worth it. I'll get off my soap box now

I loved the OP humor in describing not such a humorous event. Thank you

Personal Best Regards:

Free speech is the enemy of those who would rule you, that is why it's so important and why so many are against it. It allows you to refute their lies. The trouble is, too many are too brainwashed to see the truth.