Don’t hate me for asking.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-26-2009, 12:45 AM
TrudyM's Avatar
TrudyM TrudyM is offline
Gold member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Bought Tamarind Grove, Mercer Island Wa, previously NH,FLA,Hi,CT,CA,GA, Hubby from Hawaii
Posts: 1,085
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 2 Posts
Question Don’t hate me for asking.

I really want to ask a question everyone is going to hate. We visited in 2006 for a week and we had a great time. TV is top of my list for retirement in 24 months. But my husband’s friends are telling him that he will be happier in Las Vegas (a lot of people from Hawaii live there) or Arizona. Their reason is that he is a Hawaiian of Japanese ancestry. He thinks of himself as an American and would bleed red white and blue if cut I suspect. His friends say he is too nice (probably true) and naive that just because everyone was friendly on the outside doesn’t mean that we will be really accepted and included in the lifestyle. Are they right? We always think the best of people but just because people aren't rude doesn't mean that they will feel comfortable including us. I didn’t see any minorities when we where there come to think of it. I am hoping that his friends are wrong and I am worried for nothing.
  #2  
Old 05-26-2009, 03:53 AM
Muncle's Avatar
Muncle Muncle is offline
Eternal Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Until noon, probably in bed.
Posts: 1,674
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

A very reasonable question. No, there are not an abundance of minorities in TV. There is an active African-American club, but I have no idea of the numbers. Additionally, there are a number of Hispanic and Oriental (Pacific Rim) residents but I couldn't even fathom a guess at numbers.

As to whether the the friendliness one perceives here is a facade or is actually real, I'd strongly claim that it is the real thing. What you see is what you get. If a person is open and friendly, it wouldn't matter if they were French. They'd still be welcomed and accepted. TV is somewhat of a mix as it is. There's a big difference between someone born & raised in NYC and someone from Suburban Kentucky. Throw in a Cape Codder, a DC government worker, and a Michigan factory retiree and we have our own little melting pot. Yeah, it's predominantly white, even heavily white, but that's evolving, all for the better. And I think you'll find that most folks here in TV really don't care. They want a good neighbor who maintains a nice yard, maybe plays golf with the gang, joins the cards and luncheon group, and can cook up something really good for the periodic block parties. And if they can't do that, it doesn't bother us all that much either. We'll still like 'em.




`
__________________
Kansas City, MO; Alamo & Albuquerque NM; Quad Cities; St Louis; DC ~ NOVA; Nuernberg; Heidelberg; DC ~ NOVA; Liberty Park ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends upon what you put into it.
~~~~~~
And it's Munc"L"e, not Munc"I"e
  #3  
Old 05-26-2009, 04:46 AM
GMONEY's Avatar
GMONEY GMONEY is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Bison Valley
Posts: 938
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

whats a minority now a days????????????????? That is the question you need to ask yourself.. Kinda wierd you would think of that, but never know.. This is a retirement community for all that wish to live it.....
Bust a Move or set back wish you did... This is the place. BY the way No Hate Here...

Money Out

Last edited by GMONEY; 05-26-2009 at 06:01 AM.
  #4  
Old 05-26-2009, 05:57 AM
ChattanoogaTn's Avatar
ChattanoogaTn ChattanoogaTn is offline
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 70
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GMONEY View Post
whats a minority now a days????????????????? That is the question you need to ask yourself.. Kinda wierd you would think of that,
...............
  #5  
Old 05-26-2009, 07:50 AM
softfire softfire is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Woodbury
Posts: 21
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via AIM to softfire Send a message via Yahoo to softfire Send a message via Skype™ to softfire
Default Worried For nothing.

I belive you are worried for nothing. I imagine if it is a concern to him. He may be the one that will have to answer this for himself. I truly belive the both of you will have a grand time here and will be included in all you attempt to partcipate in. At our ages we reccognize the varity of people is what makes our world very interesting and more delightful. Bring a smile and a great personality to the table and you will be fine. Good luck in your decision.
Judi in woodbury.
  #6  
Old 05-26-2009, 08:17 AM
graciegirl's Avatar
graciegirl graciegirl is offline
Sage
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 40,169
Thanks: 5,009
Thanked 5,779 Times in 2,003 Posts
Send a message via AIM to graciegirl
Default I am feeling fiesty this morning. Looking for a place to hide.

I hope this helps. I can't imagine any problems at all with your husbands ancestors. I have yet to see anyone even pause at such a small issue here.

The interesting problem here to me is ....HOW you are raised. I always assumed that all people had pretty much the same values and attitudes, figuring in religious and political views, but I was really wrong.

Here it does really make a difference in small ways how you drive a car, whether you say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, or honk at them at a stop light and even flip them the bird. What you might hear if you stand in front of someone at the square....or sit in their seat.

It takes a little getting used to.

What is different and wonderful is that by the time people have reached the age that draws them here that most of them have worked hard, had a few bouts of extreme sadness and serious illness, have met a few major disappointments and have a lot of wonderful happy experiences. It makes them into compassionate and caring people for the most part....So you can forgive them if they just stand in the middle of the aisle at Publix. And stand and stand and stand.

Do any of you find background and regional origins make a small difference?

Not to start a war between the states.....

Last edited by graciegirl; 05-26-2009 at 12:13 PM.
  #7  
Old 05-26-2009, 08:36 AM
softfire softfire is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Woodbury
Posts: 21
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via AIM to softfire Send a message via Yahoo to softfire Send a message via Skype™ to softfire
Default Fiesty Back

Gracie,,, War between states. It is still not over between the North and the South lol. You are so right about whats draws people together here. It always leaves me in amazment and I have been here for seven yrs.
Reminds me of the movie, "Field of Dreams" , build it and they will come.
  #8  
Old 05-26-2009, 08:50 AM
marianne237 marianne237 is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Poinciana
Posts: 792
Thanks: 1
Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts
Default

Perhaps you should make one more visit a little longer than a week if at all possible. And I for one would love to meet a couple like you who have such an interesting heritage. We've been here for over 3 years (how did it happen so fast?) and no one has asked me my heritage yet, and I don't suspect any one will. We're a melting post society for the most part. And once you move here, you're family!
  #9  
Old 05-26-2009, 09:07 AM
katezbox's Avatar
katezbox katezbox is offline
Golden Sunrise Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Village of Bonita
Posts: 1,523
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Trudy,

I also believe your questions is reasonable. As Muncie says, this is a predominantly white community - and those of us that are white will never be able to totally appreciate the experience of someone who is not. My son-in-law is Turkish and my daughter got a lot of negative comments on his religion when they became engaged.

That being said, I think that the large majority of people here are friendly to all - regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. I personally don't see race anymore - I just enjoy people.

I agree with the suggestion to visit for a bit longer if you can. This is such an important decision.
__________________
Holyoke, Mass; East Granby, Monroe, Madison and Branford, Conn; Port Clyde, Maine; North Myrtle Beach, SC; The Village of Bonita (April 2009 - )
  #10  
Old 05-26-2009, 09:48 AM
TrudyM's Avatar
TrudyM TrudyM is offline
Gold member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Bought Tamarind Grove, Mercer Island Wa, previously NH,FLA,Hi,CT,CA,GA, Hubby from Hawaii
Posts: 1,085
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 2 Posts
Smile You are a great bunch

I really appreciate the positive feedback, and the private messages as well.
The feeling of friendly that we expierenced is reafirmed.

My husband is a very open and friendly golfing guy. Its his childhood Hawaii friends who can't fathom us moving to FLA. Of course he is considered a rebel who can put up with alot, he married me. We have been living on the mainland for 31 years and they think thats nust too. We did pick a wrong neighborhood once and the chill (as well as Jap go home lines) was a shock. As was said as a mainland hoale (white non islander) I don't always get it so I was just trying to do my do dilagence.

Thanks alot
Trudy
  #11  
Old 05-26-2009, 10:31 AM
Indy-Guy Indy-Guy is offline
Gold member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,062
Thanks: 0
Thanked 133 Times in 52 Posts
Default

Go to thevillages.com and sign up for The Villages Vmail. After you sign up you can go to the June 2008 edition of The Villages magazine. Read about the best lady golfer in The Villages Priscilla Salute. She is from the Phillipines.

Every time I see her she has a smile on her face. I would to if I could play golf as well as she does. She has shot a 69 on Tierra del Sol from the white tees also a 74 from the whites on Havana Hemingway/Kilimanjaro rotation. At the time of the article she was holding 9 course records.
__________________
Anderson Indiana---Indianapolis Indiana--- Village of Poinciana Full Time
  #12  
Old 05-26-2009, 11:17 AM
mikeandnancy1112's Avatar
mikeandnancy1112 mikeandnancy1112 is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: moving back to the villages
Posts: 696
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
Send a message via ICQ to mikeandnancy1112 Send a message via AIM to mikeandnancy1112
Default

This is truly the friendliess place in the world no matter what nationality you are. Don't hesitate to come here. I promise you will be welcome.

Nancy


QUOTE=TrudyM;205602]I really want to ask a question everyone is going to hate. We visited in 2006 for a week and we had a great time. TV is top of my list for retirement in 24 months. But my husband’s friends are telling him that he will be happier in Las Vegas (a lot of people from Hawaii live there) or Arizona. Their reason is that he is a Hawaiian of Japanese ancestry. He thinks of himself as an American and would bleed red white and blue if cut I suspect. His friends say he is too nice (probably true) and naive that just because everyone was friendly on the outside doesn’t mean that we will be really accepted and included in the lifestyle. Are they right? We always think the best of people but just because people aren't rude doesn't mean that they will feel comfortable including us. I didn’t see any minorities when we where there come to think of it. I am hoping that his friends are wrong and I am worried for nothing.[/QUOTE]
  #13  
Old 05-26-2009, 04:07 PM
JoC JoC is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 115
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

This might make you feel more at home here. If you can't bring it up, you'll have to subscribe to The Villages Vmail.

http://www.thevillages.com:80/Recreation/dance.htm
__________________
May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, And Friends that Care.
---------------------------------------------------
NY: Queens (Rego Park)/Yonkers/Goldens Bridge/Mahopac/Rhinebeck - and now The Villages (Hadley)
  #14  
Old 05-26-2009, 09:17 PM
SUNNYMARYANN's Avatar
SUNNYMARYANN SUNNYMARYANN is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: SLIDELL LOUISIANA
Posts: 210
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

From what I have read and heard about the people who make The Villages what it is I dont think you and your husband are going to find any problems there. Remember though that there are cranky people no matter where you go no matter what you are or do so just let them crank along by themselves and enjoy all the other fine friends you are about to meet. I hope to meet you someday.
__________________
Milwaukee's South Side; presently in Slidell, La, Indiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Wisconsin,
England, Germany, Florida, anyplace the Air Force sent us including isolated radar sites. Someday - The Villages
  #15  
Old 05-26-2009, 09:51 PM
Indy-Guy Indy-Guy is offline
Gold member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,062
Thanks: 0
Thanked 133 Times in 52 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indy-Guy View Post
Go to thevillages.com and sign up for The Villages Vmail. After you sign up you can go to the June 2008 edition of The Villages magazine. Read about the best lady golfer in The Villages Priscilla Salute. She is from the Phillipines.

Every time I see her she has a smile on her face. I would to if I could play golf as well as she does. She has shot a 69 on Tierra del Sol from the white tees also a 74 from the whites on Havana Hemingway/Kilimanjaro rotation. At the time of the article she was holding 9 course records.
To read the article on Priscilla Salute do a copy and paste of the link below to your browser and hit enter then go to page 26. Zoom in to read. Enjoy!

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/thevillages/0608/
__________________
Anderson Indiana---Indianapolis Indiana--- Village of Poinciana Full Time

Last edited by Indy-Guy; 05-26-2009 at 09:55 PM.
Closed Thread


You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:27 PM.