[senior citizen]

In a "spin off" from the baton attack on the motorist in TV, I was thinking that "some bullies may never grow up".

Although "bullying" has been discussed in the news media of late, and I've actually heard about it back when our first grandchild was in middle school and our daughter would say how bad it was getting in the schools (she's a teacher herself).........it's really nothing new.

Perhaps the bully was bullied by someone as a child.....and in that case, it is learned behavior.

However, nowadays, the fact that bullying is driving teens and younger to commit suicide to escape the internet harassment, is very alarming.

My husband and I recall from our own "youth" that bullies always existed.
They probably always will (due to their own ignorance and insecurity; they feel stronger when they pick on the perceived weaker ones.)

I went to public school; my hubby went to Catholic school. We both remember "troubled kids" who would be passed back and forth from school to school........there were no special classes for them back in the 1950's.

I tried to mention to our daughter that as an 8 year old , I recall exiting school during World Series time of the year, such as now.......and see a whole horde of little boys circling one boy.........beating him up. This was right outside the school....in the schoolyard. My husband said it also happened at his school.........and in high school at the lockers.......I don't recall it in high school.

But, I do remember as little 8 year old girls and up, my entire group of friends, who had to walk about 6 blocks each day after school to our homes and our neighborhood.........would be terrorized by an "Alice Kondrowski"......(Wonder where she is today? No doubt still picking on people)..

She had been "kicked out" of three Catholic schools and several public schools..........was now a student at the German Catholic School/church at the end of my street...........where I made my First Holy Communion and Confirmation, where I got married, etc.

It didn't matter which block we all walked down. She and her three cronies were there..........cursing at us (First time I ever heard the "F" word was from her)............we were really innocent kids in those days............no one I knew or in my family talked like she did.

Like a drunken sailor (just an expression; no offence to sailors out there).

If we changed streets......her "radar" seemed to know where to locate us.

It was truly awful to walk home from school.........we all were scared to death of her........and that's what bullies do. They seem to get power from frightening people.

If anyone has ever seen the Christmas movie about the little boy with the eyeglasses who wanted the B.B. gun for Christmas.........the one whose dad got the LEG LAMP.......love that movie..........well the kid in the coon skin cap.......was a male version of our Alice Kondrowski.

Lurking in wait........for the innocent kids to walk by......to pick on them.

Does anyone else remember bullies from their childhood schools or neighborhoods..........

[graciegirl]

Nope. My grandfather who together with my dear grandmother raised me.
He was six foot five and a cop.

[Taltarzac725]

My mom was sick with me while she was pregnant so I had all kinds of speech and coordination problems growing up in Wisconsin and then Reno, Nevada. A great English teacher Mrs. Mitchell of Wooster High School in Reno, Nevada in 1975-1976 turned me around by making me fall in love with books and education. Bullies still have been a huge problem for me after high school but I got quite used to them from the high school counselor at Wooster High School who said I did not deserve the Michelle Mitchell Memorial Scholarship (after my teacher's murdered daughter on my birthday of 2-24) because I was not one of her "in" kids to my huge fight with various law librarians about getting practical information for victims/survivors of crimes into or accessible through libraries of all kinds. I just enlisted people to battle the bullies along with my using the wisdom taught to me by Mrs. Barbara Mitchell and teachers who came after her. I have had some great ones after Mrs. Mitchell too. The love of education planted by Mrs. Mitchell pushed me to get four degrees and take courses of some kind from the University of Nevada, Reno; BYU Law School (dropped out though); the University of Denver; the College of San Mateo (Spanish); and the University of Minnesota Law School as well as courses in Dutch, German, Italian, Russian, Japanese and Chinese at the regular or correspondence University of Minnesota college.

I could probably write a book or a screenplay about my extensive experiences with bullies. Doubt if many would believe it however. There's a lot I have trouble believing and I lived through it and probably e-mailed hundreds of thousands of people and organizations trying to document it as well as improve the situation for survivors/victims of various legal systems in the world. I managed to get nominated to 24 Marquis Who's Who publications from 1992 through 2002 fighting for the right of survivors/victims of crimes for access to practical information based on sharing my story with many.

The best way to battle bullies is to create your own tribe of supporters.

[zcaveman]

Back in the 60s we never had a bully situation in school. At least where I lived.

Z

[ilovetv]

In the 1960's when I was in grade school, if somebody started being a bully at school or in the neighborhood, they got their butt paddled by the principal and were kicked off the school bus and weren't allowed to ride. More parents were willing to respect a victim's parent who told them what their kid was doing. There was less of parents saying "My child would NEVER do such a thing".

When our own kids were in school in 1990's and forward, bullies were empowered because of the policy that says, "if you hit or punch in self-defence somebody who hits you first, BOTH get suspended" from school.

It left no room for the victim's truthful, witnessed account of being victimized first and that they struck back only because they were attacked and needed to get away somehow. That policy sends the message that telling the truth does not matter....translation: "I'm screwed whether I tell the truth, or whether I lie", and so why should the victim even bother to tell the adults in charge?

The other thing that empowers bullies in recent years is political correctness in training kids in school: "don't JUDGE the person" when an innocent kid reports what they have seen about a bully or lawbreaker.

Well, we all have to make judgement calls in life, when we see somebody becoming a threat to another person or society. But our kids have been raised to "not judge" others when what is really being done is reporting abuse and law breaking.

We spent a lot of time talking with our kids about the difference between identifying wrongdoing and judging/condemning the person. Kids can be taught to condemn the behavior/actions but not condemn the person. But there's been a lot of "making people feel good about themselves" that's gone awry.

[jblum315]

Don't remember any bullies. There were a couple of boys who were 14 and still like in fifth grade, but they were pussycats. In high school, "mean girls" but no bullies.

[murray607]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

In a "spin off" from the baton attack on the motorist in TV, I was thinking that "some bullies may never grow up".

Although "bullying" has been discussed in the news media of late, and I've actually heard about it back when our first grandchild was in middle school and our daughter would say how bad it was getting in the schools (she's a teacher herself).........it's really nothing new.

Perhaps the bully was bullied by someone as a child.....and in that case, it is learned behavior.

However, nowadays, the fact that bullying is driving teens and younger to commit suicide to escape the internet harassment, is very alarming.

My husband and I recall from our own "youth" that bullies always existed.
They probably always will (due to their own ignorance and insecurity; they feel stronger when they pick on the perceived weaker ones.)

I went to public school; my hubby went to Catholic school. We both remember "troubled kids" who would be passed back and forth from school to school........there were no special classes for them back in the 1950's.

I tried to mention to our daughter that as an 8 year old , I recall exiting school during World Series time of the year, such as now.......and see a whole horde of little boys circling one boy.........beating him up. This was right outside the school....in the schoolyard. My husband said it also happened at his school.........and in high school at the lockers.......I don't recall it in high school.

But, I do remember as little 8 year old girls and up, my entire group of friends, who had to walk about 6 blocks each day after school to our homes and our neighborhood.........would be terrorized by an "Alice Kondrowski"......(Wonder where she is today? No doubt still picking on people)..

She had been "kicked out" of three Catholic schools and several public schools..........was now a student at the German Catholic School/church at the end of my street...........where I made my First Holy Communion and Confirmation, where I got married, etc.

It didn't matter which block we all walked down. She and her three cronies were there..........cursing at us (First time I ever heard the "F" word was from her)............we were really innocent kids in those days............no one I knew or in my family talked like she did.

Like a drunken sailor (just an expression; no offence to sailors out there).

If we changed streets......her "radar" seemed to know where to locate us.

It was truly awful to walk home from school.........we all were scared to death of her........and that's what bullies do. They seem to get power from frightening people.

If anyone has ever seen the Christmas movie about the little boy with the eyeglasses who wanted the B.B. gun for Christmas.........the one whose dad got the LEG LAMP.......love that movie..........well the kid in the coon skin cap.......was a male version of our Alice Kondrowski.

Lurking in wait........for the innocent kids to walk by......to pick on them.

Does anyone else remember bullies from their childhood schools or neighborhoods..........

I can remember 2 bullies at my school.

They weren't the brightest indiviuals and would act out when in situations they were uncomfortable in. I was pushed to the ground once by one of these guys for the only reason that I had got an "A" in a math test and he had an "F".

Another time, I witnessed another of these bullies hitting another boy that he called a "bookworm" for no reason other than that. The "bookworm" went on to become a doctor, the bully I believe worked as a custodian in an office complex.

Bullies often use vioence to assert themselves, it is the only way they know of doing so.

[Patty55]

No bullies, no "hoods" or "greasers", it wasn't tolerated. There were a few problem kids but they were removed and sent to private school.

[rubicon]

Where I hail from we didn't have bullies in schools we had opportunities. Why? because our fathers made it clear that so called bullies were opportunities for us to take a stand and defend ourselves. It worked.

Having said that we need to qualify this bully thing with "an all things equal" age, etc. I mean a kid should not go into a gunfight with a knife (illustration purposes only) or face a group of bullies, etc

[Barefoot]

When I was seven, there was an overweight girl in my grade that used to wait outside the school and chase me home every day. I have no idea why. I was small and fast, so she could never catch me. I never told anyone, it never occurred to me. And after a while she got bored and stopped chasing me. I thought it was a normal part of growing up.

[tucson]

We had some at our schools, there were gangs in different parts of town that would have gang fights. My husband was beat up when he was a teenager by 3 guys for driving some girl home in his car, and I was beat up by 2 girls in high school, also my sister was jumped by some girls in Jr. High.

[billethkid]

Some of what kids did in the 50's would be considered bullying in today's mentality of parents, the media, those who extort the term and those who are extort able.

Very different yard sticks then and now.

I don't know how we survived without the 24/7 media ampliphier!!!

btk

[tippyclubb]

I was bullied constantly growing up but I never let that define me. At that time it was very painful but I always knew when I got older my life would be great.

I had the last laugh at the 20th class reunion, and yes some of the bullies where there. They did not remember me, but I made sure they knew I was the tall, skinny, pimply faced girl they use to traumatize. Some of them apologized, and others didn't have a clue.

It was at that class reunion I was able to forgive each and every one of them. Perhaps, if they had not been so busy bulling others they could have made something out of their lives too. There will always be bullies, such is the way of life but in my case it made me stronger.

[bkcunningham1]

Greg Manning. In sixth grade he and his strange Northern accent moved to my small southern town from a place called Michigan. I heard adults whisper that his father had lost his job and the family needed help. Greg cussed and puffed his chest out and told us he smoked cigarettes and would beat us up if we told on him for any of the cruel things he did to some of the other kids. I was both scared and fascinated by him.

His family eventually moved and he left our small town and took his troubled childhood with him. Our teacher, Mr. Grindstaff told us that Greg's father had been called back to work in Michigan and he wouldn't be in our class any longer. Each of us slowly started telling a dismayed Mr. Grindstaff some of the mischievous, spiteful and downright mean things poor Greg did during his time with our class.

I can still see Mr. Grindstaff's face, his long corduroy clad legs crossed at the ankles leaning against his desk as we told of ketchup in seats, punches on arms, ransomed lunches and the use of words I blush to remember. Our kind-hearted and protective Mr. Grindstaff promised us that if he'd known he would have paddled Greg and if he ever saw him again he do it twice as hard to make up for our torment.

As life happens, whose father do you think lost his job and moved back to the coalfields with his family and right into Mr. Grindstaff's sixth grade class and a group of bewildered and frightened 12 year olds? Greg Manning.

I didn't know whether to hide or cry I was so afraid he'd find out we told all of his secrets but before he got his coat hung up in the cloak closet, Greg was told that the jig was up. Mr. Grindstaff told Greg about his promise to us and took him into the hallway and paddled his bottom.

He was a model student from that day forward.

[boomerbaby]

I remember both boy bullies and girl bullies. They were really mean and if you told on them the nun would punish them but they really had no one at home that stayed on them. Parents did nothing about it so they would just keep picking on you. I did all I could to avoid them even taking a different bus home from school and having to walk from that stop home and it was a distance, I am very glad that we did not have the internet back then because what we had to go through was in our neighborhoods and school but today the world can here someone being bullied. People put their names and pictures up.It is very sad.