[chachacha]

i hope i am not laughed off the forum but it has occurred to me that our generation is pioneering dating for seniors....i cannot imagine anyone in my parents' generation out dancing, flirting and dating at our age! therefore, we are mostly reverting to our prior dating experiences, of the high school variety. this cannot be healthy, either mentally, emotionally or physically, for everyone. for me personally, i have found that i am unhappy when i am not living my ideals and my faith. i wonder if there are enough other people out there who feel as i do that it might be possible to form a singles support group for those who want to remain celibate until marriage. we all want the company of the opposite sex, but we do not necessarily welcome the pressures to become involved sexually with acquaintances after only a few dates! at that rate, we would become a community of promiscuity, disease, and lack of self-respect. the singles community is really rather small here, and we tend to see the same people in the same circles, and gossip abounds. so as we encourage our teens to wait for marriage, perhaps we should consider that this path might also bring us more happiness than we are now experiencing...anyone want to discuss this?

[tkret]

Originally Posted by chachacha

i hope i am not laughed off the forum ... for me personally, i have found that i am unhappy when i am not living my ideals and my faith.

Good for you Cha3 for stating your thoughts on this subject. Happiness, according to Merriam-Webster, "a state of well-being and contentment". If you find your happiness in celibacy, along with other joys of life, there is no reason for you to fear being "laughed off the forum" as you state. I'm sure that there are many singles within our community who welcome your words of wisdom. I suppose, too, that there are many singles who are quite happy traveling along a different chosen path.
His Holiness, The Dali Lama, offers "Happiness is determined more by the state of one's mind than by one's external conditions, circumstances or events". There's a lot of truth in that fun song "Don't Worry - Be Happy". So, be true to yourself Cha3. I know that your faith is your foundation.

[mojoe]

Bravo! Cha Cha Cha. I am a recent widow (5 months). My faith is getting we through this rough time. I am doing what everyone says is best, going out and trying to start a new life. But I am still only going through the motions. I miss my husband terribly. But I am with you sister. When the time is right for me, I would welcome a support group for those who want to remain celibate until marriage. I so miss the intelligent dialogue that my husband and I shared. I miss his companionship and the intimacy that we shared. I will also miss the wonderful conversations with the men and women who were in our social group. I have met some widows who I know feel the same way as you and I. Count me in.

Maureen

[happyone]

I am anticipating moving to the Villages. I am happy to see that you are approaching this topic. It is very real.

[rubicon]

Well I give you a male's point of view. My wife met and I have been together since high school freshman. We are away celebrating our 50th anniversary. It has saddened me to see the emphasis and mis-interpetation younger generations have concerning love vis a vis sex. Look at the so called love stories or romantic comedies coming out of Hollywood today. they are vulgar demeaning and can only result in unhappiness....but sex sells

Like many of our generation my wife and I remained celibate until our honeymoon. It has paid off in dividends because in those five years before we married we built a sound relationship that has carried us through the ups and downs of marriage.

It also is sad to see all the emphasis on sex for seniors the viagra commericals, the sex specilaists, etc. Sex is nice but it is only one aspect of a relationship and not as important as championship, friendship and respect for one another

Any creature can have multiple sex partners and/ or encounters but a true great lover is one who can meet the many needs of his/her spouse their entire lives.

[carm310]

I appreciate your courage (to speak up), values and faith! Is there a church singles group at your church? Have you thought about starting one there? You may have a better chance of meeting someone who shares your values and faith if you can find a group connected to a church.

[ssmith]

I respect you /ChaChaCha. Although I am not in your situation I am so glad you brought his up. Hope you find like minded people to hang with.

[Schaumburger]

chachacha -- I'm just a wannabee, but your idea is an excellent one. I bet you could get a group of like minded singles together, and if I was a TV resident, I would definitely be interested in joining.

[Taltarzac725]

Nice idea. I have similar sentiments but think that you also need emotional/physical compatibility to make a marriage work. That's why I need a test drive so to speak when in a serious relationship if I am going to a more serious level.

In other words, the physical side of a marriage is almost as important to me as the mental/emotional connection.

Maybe, that's a generational thing??

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/R...atibility.html

[chachacha]

i am gratified to see so many responses and i hope they continue to roll in...this is a topic which affects both sexes and all ages....congrats, rubicon, on fifty years of being a great lover i admire all who achieve that distinction. keep the conversation going, everyone!

[NotGolfer]

Great post Chachacha!! Also, Rubicon your response was stellar!! Congrats on 50 years of marriage and happiness!!! In today's world that doesn't happen often with the divorce rate so high!!!

People just think they need to do a "test run" and because of that...they are missing out on what God would truly bless them with. Our society tells a different story but it's not necessarily what's good and right.

[Happinow]

I, too, applaud you on your values and morals. This day and age both are tossed aside and sex is just another casual motion. I wish we could turn back time when being a virgin when you got married was the norm. What fun would that be?? Welcome to the forum and thanks for an eye opening post!

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by Happinow

I, too, applaud you on your values and morals. This day and age both are tossed aside and sex is just another casual motion. I wish we could turn back time when being a virgin when you got married was the norm. What fun would that be?? Welcome to the forum and thanks for an eye opening post!

I do not see it as a casual motion. I went to Brigham Young U in Provo, Utah (their law school on a Merit Scholarship) for about ten days and pre-marital sex is not part of the Mormon religion. It was also against the Moral Code of the school which you were supposed to adhere to or get reprimanded. http://www.slate.com/articles/news_a...ex_at_byu.html

I dropped out after ten days because a Mormon beauty already had me in her sights only probably because I was unmarried and going to BYU Law School. I did not think I could adhere to their Moral Code while also staying a non-Mormon. There was also quite a bit of peer pressure just in those ten days to convert to Mormonism. My on campus BYU roommate was a very recent convert from Puerto Rico who also wanted me to follow in his footsteps. Kind of hard to study law when all of this other stuff is going on too. I needed BYU's permission on where I could live while going to their law school.

Amusingly, most of the men at BYU Law School were married and a little older than me because of their Mormon missionary requirement. The very few women at BYU Law School were also for the most part married. This was in 1982.

It should be really interesting if a Mormon takes over the White House in January 2013. We should all be learning quite a bit more about the intricacies of that religion if that actually happens.

[ssmith]

i had to laugh cause Cha Cha Cha is not new to the forum....she's been here a long time Just thought you would want to know

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

"at that rate, we would become a community of promiscuity, disease, and lack of self-respect."

I hate to say this, but I read somewhere recently that The Villages has the highest rate of STDs of any community in the country. I think we're already there.