[katerogers]

Let's face it, when you're single, moving to a new community is a lot more challenging than taking that step into the unknown as a couple. Granted, we are likely to have varied back stories, we most likely adapt to a new environment differently and our ability to make new friends may run from 'a piece of cake' to 'pulling teeth. So, it would be helpful to hear from the singles (male and female) who have already had this experience. What was it like for you when you first moved to TV? Did you buy a place, rent or room with someone? What were your expectations and how did your socialization get it's start? How long did it take for you to feel like you belonged or are you still waiting? Please don't hesitate to mention the good with the bad. You're still there, after all, so even if the road was rocky at first it must have smoothed out eventually. And we could benefit from your "would a", 'could a', 'should a'.

Katie

[Geewiz]

Single women outnumber guys by a huge number and many guys have a sense of entitlement. The girls are often smarter than the guys and develop a cynical wariness - except when it comes to dancing and chocolate...which gets them every time (show me a woman who doesn't like to dance and then have chocolate). I date a bit in TV and, more so, outside of TV. Hookups are easy...deep friendships and love - much harder. There are singles clubs here and consider meetup groups. Good hunting!

[kittygilchrist]

I don't know why the singles posts seem so sterile of engaging comment to this point, but I'm saying oorah for KR and Geewiz for saying something genuine.

[chachacha]

i was part of a couple when i moved here but it was long distance...i had already created a circle of friends from this site, actually, and many of us are still friends to this day, five years later! they supported me through the death of my partner, whom they had come to love when he spent the first winter here. we have now each developed other circles of friends and activities but that core group still means so much to me. we had great times with the excitement of sharing our new homes with each other. you too will find that a core group of good friends will make life great through good and bad.

[kittygilchrist]

I'd like to meet singles a few at a time so I really get to know you. I'm thinking of hosting small gatherings, not for the hundreds. Would you who are reading be interested in coming to my home?

[KathieI]

Originally Posted by katerogers

Let's face it, when you're single, moving to a new community is a lot more challenging than taking that step into the unknown as a couple. Granted, we are likely to have varied back stories, we most likely adapt to a new environment differently and our ability to make new friends may run from 'a piece of cake' to 'pulling teeth. So, it would be helpful to hear from the singles (male and female) who have already had this experience. What was it like for you when you first moved to TV? Did you buy a place, rent or room with someone? What were your expectations and how did your socialization get it's start? How long did it take for you to feel like you belonged or are you still waiting? Please don't hesitate to mention the good with the bad. You're still there, after all, so even if the road was rocky at first it must have smoothed out eventually. And we could benefit from your "would a", 'could a', 'should a'.

Katie

Wow, Katie, that's a lot of questions. Well, let me try to answer some by giving you my experience. I moved here from Los Angeles with 3 dogs and my 90+yo father. After 30 years of marriage, I was a single woman moving cross country again. (did it in the 70's from NY to LA). By the time I got here, I already had at least 50 friends, married and single, all who I met through TOTV. In our single group, were 5 males and 5 females and we did almost everything together and partied a lot and set up meet and greets with lots of other newbies as they came into town. Eventually this group (not just of singles) grew very large, and, in time, some got married, some passed away (unfortunately) and the group keeps growing. I didn't not find one day of it to be challenging as I find it very easy to make friends. Some days, I would go to a rec center and just start to talk to people to fill up some time or to make more friends. At restaurants and food shopping, I would talk to a lot of people. As this group of friends has grown, its wonderful to have them segmented by various activities that I am involved in. For Instance, I have dancing friends, lunch and dinner friends, water aerobics friends, MVP friends, etc. I always felt like I belonged - never very sure if I liked Florida better than CA, but I do know that the friends that I have here now are the most wonderful part of my life. I couldn't exist without these friends, and I'm so happy they are in my life. I'm sure you can get to this point too, just try to surround yourself with people you can trust, who trust you, who have the same likes and dislikes and never talk politics, lol....

[chachacha]

Originally Posted by kittygilchrist

I'd like to meet singles a few at a time so I really get to know you. I'm thinking of hosting small gatherings, not for the hundreds. Would you who are reading be interested in coming to my home?

after the lovely lunch we enjoyed at Gracie Girl's today, i cannot wait for the next get together! and by the way, Kathie is one of my core group whom i mentioned earlier!

[Geewiz]

Originally Posted by kittygilchrist

I'd like to meet singles a few at a time so I really get to know you. I'm thinking of hosting small gatherings, not for the hundreds. Would you who are reading be interested in coming to my home?

Consider me in...I'll even bring a guitar and write you a song on the spot...a kiss gets you a second song.

[redwitch]

I'm a loner. Always have been. I have no interest in dating. BTDT, don't want to ever do it again. At the same time, I do like being around some people (male and female) and I dearly love playing games, especially card games. So, I've managed to find my core group in games -- bridge, Mah-Jongg, Triple Play, poker.

You'll find your niche. As to how long it takes, I'd say that depends on you -- if you're outgoing like Kathie, you won't have any problems. If you're quiet and shy, it will take longer. If you're in the middle, then you'll quickly make friends in some groups but take longer to be accepted in others. Regardless, you'll only be as lonely as you choose to be.

Hello Katie

I am from Florida, and after being in the military this return home was my 15th move. So coming home was natural for me. I am divorced and to be honest, I do not have to continually have to be in a relationship. It is not on my priority list...I am complete as I am. If I meet someone wonderful, then great, if not, that is OK too...it is not an active pursuit.

The only expectation I had coming here was to have a beautiful home with a view, and peace. Mission accomplished.

I am like another poster here, I make friends easily once I meet them and I consider friends the most important of all relationships...except family.

I have never found any problems or concerns with the married couples here and they include me in all their functions with no problems.

I own my home and I would not have had it any other way because I already knew the area.

I always felt like I belonged, and I am not waiting. I am always meeting new friends and always have room in my life for more. I can normally get along with most people from all types of backgrounds. Life is too short to wait on anything.

And for the record, I don't like to dance, because military wounds have a way of catching up quickly over the years...but chocolate always makes me feel great! And cheesecake...I believe in eating dessert before dinner, just in case it is my last.

Katie

[maybe]

Originally Posted by kittygilchrist

I'd like to meet singles a few at a time so I really get to know you. I'm thinking of hosting small gatherings, not for the hundreds. Would you who are reading be interested in coming to my home?

Sounds like a good idea. I'd come.

Bill

[katerogers]

I believe, Kitty expressed it perfectly. 'Why are single posts so stertile of engaging comments?'

I think most residents would agree - and it seems to be supported in your posts - that it was through the Talk of the Villages that newcomers, especially singles, have looked to for the real story behind living in such a unique community. And some have been able to develop friendships that made their transitions much easier and that continued long after their move to TV.

But, like Kitty says, why are there so few recent, meaningful discussions that affect the singles of TV. There are so many threads (oh, so many), with ambiguous titles and outdated posts that it's almost impossible to track down the subjects you're searching for and you feel foolish for starting another thread that has already been brought up - even though no one actually answered the question.

I suppose, being a novice at this, I hoped an open invitation to the single residents of TV, to share their real experiences, to offer advice for the single newcomer, or to even suggest ways to avoid the social pitfalls, that most newcomers fall into, will go a long way to ease any concerns or just help us to feel connected.

And lastly - and this may be an impossible undertaking, but wonderfully convenient for those who would rather spend less time searching and more time 'doing' - to work toward a more organized single forum for a contiuous, evolving, open discussion where any topics unique to the single resident can be added, discussed thoughtfully and not judged.

On that point, thank you, GW, Kitty, Diane, Kathie, Red, Katie, & Bill for 'getting it' and offering helpful responses. And it's cool that, in the least, this post prompted an 'ad hoc' get together.

I am now permanetly stepping down from my soapbox, never to fillibuster again. I can only offer an excuse for my long-winded, yawnfest on a recent, frustrating, search and a bout of insomnia

[Newbeginnings]

I just became single 2 years ago, moved to TV November 2012. Met some singles, met lots of neighbors, single and married. Not dating, just some good friendships as that's all I want right now. I am not the best at being assertive in this new life, but getting better. I know what I need to do to get out there but not really interested in becoming a couple with anyone right now, met some who want a relationship right now and I am just not ready. Enjoy my women friends and some of the guys but there are very few of those as most of the get togethers are mostly women. Met some of "entitled men" who have approached me with the line " Well, here I am " and don't do anything except sit and stare waiting for me to do all the conversation work and ask all about them, met one who turned out to be married and couldn't understand why I would not date him again, told me I had a problem, and met another one who told me all about his libido. I have to laugh about some the experiences now and it's only been 6 months here. I am too new at this to take anything away from my experience, I am still learning all about this new life and living in TV and like hearing from the other singles on this forum.

Originally Posted by katerogers

I believe, Kitty expressed it perfectly. 'Why are single posts so stertile of engaging comments?'

I think most residents would agree - and it seems to be supported in your posts - that it was through the Talk of the Villages that newcomers, especially singles, have looked to for the real story behind living in such a unique community. And some have been able to develop friendships that made their transitions much easier and that continued long after their move to TV.

But, like Kitty says, why are there so few recent, meaningful discussions that affect the singles of TV. There are so many threads (oh, so many), with ambiguous titles and outdated posts that it's almost impossible to track down the subjects you're searching for and you feel foolish for starting another thread that has already been brought up - even though no one actually answered the question.

I suppose, being a novice at this, I hoped an open invitation to the single residents of TV, to share their real experiences, to offer advice for the single newcomer, or to even suggest ways to avoid the social pitfalls, that most newcomers fall into, will go a long way to ease any concerns or just help us to feel connected.

And lastly - and this may be an impossible undertaking, but wonderfully convenient for those who would rather spend less time searching and more time 'doing' - to work toward a more organized single forum for a contiuous, evolving, open discussion where any topics unique to the single resident can be added, discussed thoughtfully and not judged.

On that point, thank you, GW, Kitty, Diane, Kathie, Red, Katie, & Bill for 'getting it' and offering helpful responses. And it's cool that, in the least, this post prompted an 'ad hoc' get together.

I am now permanetly stepping down from my soapbox, never to fillibuster again. I can only offer an excuse for my long-winded, yawnfest on a recent, frustrating, search and a bout of insomnia

Thank you for this post and thread. It was needed. It has given all of us some things to think about.

This forum can only be as good as us Singles make it. ChaX3, has done a wonderful job at trying to keep it together, but it could be better if we all worked at it too. I think we all have some issues that would liked to be addresses, but are afraid to post. Maybe those of us who are posting, could continue and it might bring others out of the woodwork.

Hope you don't step off that soapbox too permanently.

Katie

[Susan G]

Sent you a PM....Susan