[kittygilchrist]

After discussing what chemistry means with two single friends, it is apparent that there may be no consensus at all to define or know when there is chemistry with someone.
So tossing this bone out for discussion, you fabulous singles:
Chemistry.
what is it?
how do you know when it's there or not there?
how much does it mean for predicting a long term relationship?
can it be absent at various stages of relationship?
can chemistry grow or is it either there or not there?
Can a relationship exist on and on without it?

chachacha has approved this message. TOTV denies any affiliation.

[In awe of TV]

This is only my opinion, others will have their own definition.

what is it?
It's difficult to define, but I think it's an attraction and I don't mean looks. It's a bunch of things - could be the tone of voice, a nice smile, a certain gentleness and/or kindness, the cologne he's wearing, his eagerness to get to know you, common interests, his sense of humor, the respect he shows for you and last but not least - it's a gut feeling. I would have to feel and/or receive a comfort feeling, someone I want to spend time with. So much more to list, but these are the important signs. There another sign, but I would have to take this offline and pm it to you!

how do you know when it's there or not there?
I can sense chemistry within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone. If I felt chemistry with someone, I will want to continue talking and getting to know him more and flirt. Flirting is huge if I'm feeling chemistry. No chemistry, no flirting. I will remain cordial through the date, say good night, thank him for a nice evening and move on. Definitely no kiss.

how much does it mean for predicting a long term relationship?
It doesn't predict a long term relationship. It only means he's right for now. Long term would require a background check. ; )

can it be absent at various stages of relationship?
No, it's can't be absent for me.

can chemistry grow or is it either there or not there?
It's either there or not. If it's there, it can definitely grow.

Can a relationship exist on and on without it?
Nope, not for me. If I don't feel any chemistry, he could definitely remain a in a friend relationship, but nothing more. If I were to consider a relationship, there would have to be romance and I couldn't be romantic with someone I don't have chemistry with. I would rather be home with my dog that be with someone who I am uncomfortable with.

I'm anxious to read other people's definition . . .

[lovsthosebigdogs]

I think chemistry happens between men and women, but also between people of the same sex (not homosexual/lesbian), as friends or between people and animals. It's the feeling that you 'click'. The feeling that you fit right together as friends or there is an attraction with each other that feels good and you want to spend more time together and get to know each other more. When it's between opposite sexes it's a sexual attraction that grows and keeps you interested in a way that's cerebral as well as physical. It makes you appreciate what that person says and does and the way they look and smell and feel and everything about them makes you want more. When it's between friends it's almost the same without the sex part. I have had chemistry with a new friend and just felt like we must have been friends for a long, long time because things felt good and right and, well... easy. I've even felt it with a dog (don't laugh). You pick the right dog and you just know it's the right one for you and immediately there is a connection of souls. You feel right together. I guess it doesn't matter the sex or the species, chemistry is the attraction that pulls one to another.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by lovsthosebigdogs

I think chemistry happens between men and women, but also between people of the same sex (not homosexual/lesbian), as friends or between people and animals. It's the feeling that you 'click'. The feeling that you fit right together as friends or there is an attraction with each other that feels good and you want to spend more time together and get to know each other more. When it's between opposite sexes it's a sexual attraction that grows and keeps you interested in a way that's cerebral as well as physical. It makes you appreciate what that person says and does and the way they look and smell and feel and everything about them makes you want more. When it's between friends it's almost the same without the sex part. I have had chemistry with a new friend and just felt like we must have been friends for a long, long time because things felt good and right and, well... easy. I've even felt it with a dog (don't laugh). You pick the right dog and you just know it's the right one for you and immediately there is a connection of souls. You feel right together. I guess it doesn't matter the sex or the species, chemistry is the attraction that pulls one to another.

Well said.


Same with Kitties. Me and Mikey, we just sort of know what the other is thinking.

[rubicon]

What does chemistry mean? I believe that is a question for Walter White.

[lovsthosebigdogs]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Well said.


Same with Kitties. Me and Mikey, we just sort of know what the other is thinking.

Gracie, tell Mickey no disrespect meant for the Kitties. I love them all. It just didn't fall under my radar this time. Sorry.

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by In awe of TV

It's difficult to define, but I think it's an attraction and I don't mean looks.

Some years ago, Alan Alda used to make a TV program for PBS (I think), it was sort of scientific in nature, and one week they did a program on chemistry. It would seem that chemistry is basically how you and someone else smells. Yes really. They did an experiment with dirty laundry, and all of the people involved could pick out their partners dirty undershirts, but the wrong undershirt was repulsive to them.

If you have ever danced with someone who is not "yours" you will know exactly what this means.

Anyway, it all came down to the basic animal instinct - fortunately we don't have to go around smelling people's rear ends to know if we were meant to be together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

Some years ago, Alan Alda used to make a TV program for PBS (I think), it was sort of scientific in nature, and one week they did a program on chemistry. It would seem that chemistry is basically how you and someone else smells. Yes really. They did an experiment with dirty laundry, and all of the people involved could pick out their partners dirty undershirts, but the wrong undershirt was repulsive to them.

If you have ever danced with someone who is not "yours" you will know exactly what this means.

Anyway, it all came down to the basic animal instinct - fortunately we don't have to go around smelling people's rear ends to know if we were meant to be together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I don't just LIKE people on this forum, I LOVE them. Only seniors would have the confidence to say stuff like we do.

[kittygilchrist]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

Some years ago, Alan Alda used to make a TV program for PBS (I think), it was sort of scientific in nature, and one week they did a program on chemistry. It would seem that chemistry is basically how you and someone else smells. Yes really. They did an experiment with dirty laundry, and all of the people involved could pick out their partners dirty undershirts, but the wrong undershirt was repulsive to them.

If you have ever danced with someone who is not "yours" you will know exactly what this means.

Anyway, it all came down to the basic animal instinct - fortunately we don't have to go around smelling people's rear ends to know if we were meant to be together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL! I saw that program about huffing t-shirts. The research showed that men with a similar immune profile were not as attractive as those with a different immune system from the female.

[maybe]

Its meaning is how it is most commonly used, right? If so, I think it means some level of a romantic and sexual feeling and attraction. As such, it need not occur immediately, but could develope as a friendship turns into romance, as sometimes happens. The strongest chemistry is probably love at first sight in which an hour after meeting the two find themselves having sex, and planning, or at least wanting, to be together for the foreseeable future. It occurs to me that that particular chemistry becomes less likely as we get older. But I would not want to rule it out.

[2BNTV]

Chemistry is feeling that you are in sync, with another persons thoughts, feelings, and viewpoints. I think it runs on an unconcious level, and you just feel it, when it happens. Only time will tell if this feeling lasts, as it's more important to me that two people have the same point of view on important issues like communication, expressing themselves on a meaningful level, and most important, are they good in their heart and intentions to the world at large.

I have several close friends that I know in my heart, would never do anything to hurt me, and only want to help me in times when help is needed, and vica versa. I would drop everything and run for them, for anything, that is needed, at a moments notice. This is what close relationships should be about.
They are family to me.

When starting a relationship, one would do well to become friends with that special person instead of rushing to become intimate. If one becomes intimate instantly, if the relationship falls apart, then you don't have a friendship.

Chemistry is somthing that is there, or not there. You instantly will know when it's happening.

BTW - Rodney Dangerfield used to comment that sex, should be like two dogs, One sniff, and "she's for me.

[chachacha]

that is a very complex issue...of all the nice men i have met in The villages, i have met only one who makes my heart pitter patter every time i see him, but he does not know i am alive! i guess i have "chemistry" but he doesn't. but i do agree that although that wonderful feeling is not always enough to make a happy relationship, i would never be able to have one without it. i think that is the feeling remembered throughout the bad times which helps couples withstand the storms of arguments, sickness, financial woes, etc. it is a wonderful spiritual connection which we cannot understand nor can we deny!

[TVMayor]

Originally Posted by chachacha

that is a very complex issue...of all the nice men i have met in The villages, i have met only one who makes my heart pitter patter every time i see him, but he does not know i am alive! i guess i have "chemistry" but he doesn't. but i do agree that although that wonderful feeling is not always enough to make a happy relationship, i would never be able to have one without it. i think that is the feeling remembered throughout the bad times which helps couples withstand the storms of arguments, sickness, financial woes, etc. it is a wonderful spiritual connection which we cannot understand nor can we deny!

�but he does not know i am alive!� I would suggest you concentrate on enhancing your communication efforts with this guy. What if he is thinking, boy she is nice, I like her but why waste my time she would never go for a guy like me.

[manaboutown]

Pheromones play a major roll in sexual selection. They kick start an initial attraction and in some cases serve to keep a couple together long enough to allow a more permanent bond to develop.

Over the last 20 years or so of being single again I must have read about 50 books on this topic and own at least 20. It is all very complex. What I have found is that in my life whenever I run into old girlfriends or a woman I had a crush on in the past (especially if she gives me a hug - translation - we each inhale the other's pheromones), I feel the identical feelings I felt even 50 year ago and I sense they do, too. This I find quite remarkable. Although attraction exists in each case, it is a bit different in each case. I cannot explain it but I feel it.

This article references the interesting sweaty T Shirt study mentioned above. http://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/14/5/668.full

[kittygilchrist]

Originally Posted by manaboutown

Pheromones play a major roll in sexual selection. They kick start an initial attraction and in some cases serve to keep a couple together long enough to allow a more permanent bond to develop.

Over the last 20 years or so of being single again I must have read about 50 books on this topic and own at least 20. It is all very complex. What I have found is that in my life whenever I run into old girlfriends or a woman I had a crush on in the past (especially if she gives me a hug - translation - we each inhale the other's pheromones), I feel the identical feelings I felt even 50 year ago and I sense they do, too. This I find quite remarkable. Although attraction exists in each case, it is a bit different in each case. I cannot explain it but I feel it.

This article references the interesting sweaty T Shirt study mentioned above. Major histocompatibility complex genes, symmetry, and body scent attractiveness in men and women

what you said Man, is the closest to what it means to me. Now what kind of system is that? You smell right....?
this could explain my entire history of relationships.
That said, my cat loves to sniff my armpit or anybody's shoes and my dog wants us to breathe noses together. There must be something to it.