[Polar Bear]

The only problem I have with some posts in this thread is...irrespective of the reasons a young person is living with his or her parents...there seems to be a failure to differentiate between law abIding citizens and criminals.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by Polar Bear

The only problem I have with some posts in this thread is...irrespective of the reasons a young person is living with his or her parents...there seems to be a failure to differentiate between law abIding citizens and criminals.

Well put. There maybe dozen of reasons why an adult is living with his or her parents. Many have nothing to do with a criminal record, drinking, drug abuse nor mental illness.

[Polar Bear]

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725

Well put. There maybe dozen of reasons why an adult is living with his or her parents. Many have nothing to do with a criminal record, drinking, drug abuse nor mental illness.

Also well put, Tal.

[rubicon]

With no intent to hurt or discredit anyone I find it unfair and unnecessary to comment on another resident's troubled marriage, children or other situations.

It would seem to me the more Christian and/or civil thing would be not to make another resident's personal/family problems the subject of public conversation.

Indeed this family has already experienced enough humiliation by having their family situation published in the paper.

[Villageswimmer]

Originally Posted by rubicon

With no intent to hurt or discredit anyone I find it unfair and unnecessary to comment on another resident's troubled marriage, children or other situations.

It would seem to me the more Christian and/or civil thing would be not to make another resident's personal/family problems the subject of public conversation.

Indeed this family has already experienced enough humiliation by having their family situation published in the paper.

True. And one never knows what is going on behind closed doors. The elder parent or relative could be living in fear of the young person. It's easy for us to say "throw them out." Some of these parents/grands could be classic enablers but I bet a lot are helpless victims. Namaste.

[christieann]

I personally want to say, as a younger TV resident:
I learned respect from my parents and I am happy I was given the chance to be here.
It is a shame that others my age are giving younger residents in TV a bad reputation.
(I was warned about men my age that live with their parents here and that warning was correct.
A person I thought was nice turned disgusting quickly. NOT someone I will ever choose to be in contact with again.)

My parents are gone now but I still want to make them proud every day.
I will be a respectful and law abiding resident who will uphold TV's good name.
I am glad to be living a quiet and happy life in TV.
Please know that not all young residents are out to do bad things.

[VApeople]

That was a very nice post, Christie.

As Villagers, we do not have any young people as friends, but we meet them in restaurants and stores or when people come to work on our house. Almost all of them seem to be hard working and we treat them with respect. We ask them about their lives and hear some very interesting stories, especially from the local people. Well, I did tell one young lady at T&D that she was very rude, but that was the exception.

I always say that it is not easy being young. You are trying to figure out how to live your life in this complicated world and how to relate to other people. At the age of 71, I am much happier and more satisfied with myself as a person than I was 40 years ago, and I hope that will be true for all of the young people we meet.

[Bay Kid]

Originally Posted by christieann

I personally want to say, as a younger TV resident:
I learned respect from my parents and I am happy I was given the chance to be here.
It is a shame that others my age are giving younger residents in TV a bad reputation.
(I was warned about men my age that live with their parents here and that warning was correct.
A person I thought was nice turned disgusting quickly. NOT someone I will ever choose to be in contact with again.)

My parents are gone now but I still want to make them proud every day.
I will be a respectful and law abiding resident who will uphold TV's good name.
I am glad to be living a quiet and happy life in TV.
Please know that not all young residents are out to do bad things.

Your parents should be very proud!

[Sable99]

Originally Posted by Bryan

My observation is that 'kids living with their parents' in TV fall into one of three general categories.

The first (probably the best) is kids who move her to take care of Mom or Dad who is having physical, mental, or both problems. They sacrifice their personal lives to take care of Mom or Dad. That's what families do!

The second is kids who have hit a rough patch. It may be a job loss, divorce, death of a spouse, or something else. Mon and/or Dad step up to the plate and offer support. That's what families do! Once they are back on their feet, they are out of here and back to their own productive lives.

The last - the ones most often in the news and in jail - are the losers who couldn't cut it on their own in the real world. Now they are back in the empty nest, soaking off of Mon and/or Dad. I don't necessarily think Mom and/or Dad are innocent here - they are enablers for letting their 'loser' offspring soak off of them and dispute life in our retirement community.

Most of us would prefer to see this last group depart our fine community but, alas, that probably won't happen until they get some really serious jail time.

Finally, someone with reason! Thankfully, I fall into the first category. I retired from a great job to move 500 miles back home to help Mom with my ailing father. Dad's gone now but Mom is almost 93 and is requiring more and more assistance every day. I would be in my home in The Villages if it weren't for my Mom. She likes The Villages but she loves being near her friends, family, church and the four seasons in Michigan more!

[Topspinmo]

Originally Posted by Bryan

My observation is that 'kids living with their parents' in TV fall into one of three general categories.

The first (probably the best) is kids who move her to take care of Mom or Dad who is having physical, mental, or both problems. They sacrifice their personal lives to take care of Mom or Dad. That's what families do!

The second is kids who have hit a rough patch. It may be a job loss, divorce, death of a spouse, or something else. Mon and/or Dad step up to the plate and offer support. That's what families do! Once they are back on their feet, they are out of here and back to their own productive lives.

The last - the ones most often in the news and in jail - are the losers who couldn't cut it on their own in the real world. Now they are back in the empty nest, soaking off of Mon and/or Dad. I don't necessarily think Mom and/or Dad are innocent here - they are enablers for letting their 'loser' offspring soak off of them and dispute life in our retirement community.

Most of us would prefer to see this last group depart our fine community but, alas, that probably won't happen until they get some really serious jail time.

I think another category might fit in. The meth head, doper, drunk, and lazy. Some kids NEVER had to work to accomplish anything, they alway had that safe zone to fall back on. Some of use had no choice, survive in society or die.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by Sable99

Finally, someone with reason! Thankfully, I fall into the first category. I retired from a great job to move 500 miles back home to help Mom with my ailing father. Dad's gone now but Mom is almost 93 and is requiring more and more assistance every day. I would be in my home in The Villages if it weren't for my Mom. She likes The Villages but she loves being near her friends, family, church and the four seasons in Michigan more!

That's a good daughter. My own predicament could fill a 500 page book easily. Enough people on TOTV and here in the Villages and elsewhere know about it so I need not bore you with the details. They are on TOTV in various places.

I have met a number of adult sons and daughters who live here in the Villages. It is hard to overgeneralize about these as each situation is a little and sometimes quite a lot different from the next one.

My late younger brother was here in the Villages for about a year and a half. He was a great computer programmer for annuity computations for banks and insurance companies but also had a very tragic addiction to vodka. He have a great job but something would drive him to drink at some point and he would then lose it. This cycle lasted up to his death in December of 2014 due basically to alcohol poisoning. My parents had thrown him out of the house here in the Villages when he was lying about his using alcohol again despite his attending many AA meetings each day near and around the Villages. He picked himself up again got a very good job with a bank but was soon again drinking and unemployed.

My sister-in-law's brother stayed with my brother and sister-in-law for years until his paranoid schizophrenia got the better of him and he started carrying around semi-automatic weapons and became obsessed with them. My brother told him he did not want weapons like that in his house. So he was thrown out. Except he still had the weapons and a good part of his late father's inheritance. That all ended around October 2014 with his suicide and the police investigation into some very strange writings which finally showed that he was a paranoid schizophrenic but he had been smart enough to not say anything that would be grounds to get him committed and stay in a mental health facility or just get treatment. He had thought my sister-in-law was an alien (I mean like from some planet) but that was not enough under VA law to get him treatment.

Then there's me which is a very complicated matter. It involves my fight dating from 1991 when I had been the cataloger of all the computer files on WESTLAW for a national project connected with the U of MN Law Library and the SUNY at Buffalo Law Library where a cataloger was doing all the LEXIS computer files. I had thought that this status gave me the perfect platform to fight for access to practical information for survivors/victims of crimes based on my own experiences with the Michelle Mitchell 2-24-1976 murder investigation, publicity, trial, publicity, appeals, publicity, etc. in Reno, Nevada. She had been the daughter of my remedial English teacher Mrs. Barbara Mitchell at Earl Wooster High School and the Mitchell family had given me a small scholarship in Michelle Mitchell's name for the 1976-1977 Academic Year. I shared this small Scholarship with late fellow student John Picollo. 2-24 is also my birthday and I got four degrees to gain some credibility about my interest in survivors/victims rights and access to practical information. And I worked for prisoners' rights from the Summer of 1987 through around late April of 1989. I could be objective. But as soon as I tried to challenge the powers that be in 1991 in the Law Librarianship profession using my status as the WESTLAW cataloger I was blacklisted by the very same law librarians and their considerable network from the Law Librarianship profession. Back to my parents' house then in Northern CA I went but not before writing every one in the Summer and Fall of 1991 who I thought might help me fight these powerful bullies. And there were movie trailers at the Red Lion Inn a mere 300 feet from this Northern CA house often and I had a cocker spaniel named Amber who would often needed a walk and to meet new people. Where God shuts one door he often leaves another one wide open. We did have to be careful about not stepping in all the duck and goose poop around the golf course hole that was between the Red Lion Inn and our Fairway Drive house.

What really ****ed me off was the tactic of challenging my mental health rather than the merits of the matter I was addressing about the practical materials for survivors/victims of crimes. That was the approach of the U of MN Law School and Library to my forcing the issue. Which is extremely bad logic but is also a very effective favorite tactic of the SOVIET and other totalitarian regimes. It turns you against yourself as well as erodes family relationships quite badly.

The Michelle Mitchell 2-24-1976 murder got even more complicated around 2014 after a DNA test on a cigarette picked up at the crime scene near the University of Nevada, Reno (where I got two BAs and often drove past the murder house). This test revealed that they had probably convicted (twice) the wrong person Cathy Woods for the Michelle Mitchell murder and the DNA pointed to someone associated with the San Mateo Slasher or Gypsy Hill murders. A guy originally from Michigan named Rodney Halbower. Cops Framed Schizophrenic Woman as Killer Lesbian, Sending Her to Prison for 35 Years - The Daily Beast

I had shared many of these problems with a woman interviewer/researcher when I was subject #613 at the University of California, San Francisco Health Sciences Campus in late 1992-1993. This was a study on stress on the unemployed conducted by the UCSF Health Sciences Campus. This interviewer/researcher waited until the end of the study in mid March of 1993 to tell me that I had a very good cause. So, of course, I sent them a bunch of documents to back up my story. Which I have also done for a number of other groups/people/associations that have expressed interest or been helpful or out of necessity like with the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office Criminal Intelligence around September 18, 2002. That's a very complicated matter though. I did walk into their Pinellas Park headquarters and walked right back out after talking to a Detective for about 5 minutes after I handed him about 106 documents to look over.

Our family dog Amber on Fairway Drive in Rohnert Park, CA in her fort.

[BobnBev]

Originally Posted by christieann

I personally want to say, as a younger TV resident:
I learned respect from my parents and I am happy I was given the chance to be here.
It is a shame that others my age are giving younger residents in TV a bad reputation.
(I was warned about men my age that live with their parents here and that warning was correct.
A person I thought was nice turned disgusting quickly. NOT someone I will ever choose to be in contact with again.)

My parents are gone now but I still want to make them proud every day.
I will be a respectful and law abiding resident who will uphold TV's good name.
I am glad to be living a quiet and happy life in TV.
Please know that not all young residents are out to do bad things.

l

Good on ya, girl, and welcome to TV. You sound like my kind of people.

[2BNTV]

I for one would like to see some compassion for the parents of this child. People have children with the best of intentions and raised them in a manner to become outstanding citizens.

Are there some bad parents who raised great children? I would tend to think so. Are there some great parents who children turned out to be less than stellar? I know this is so,

There are children who rise above their less than stellar upbringing and some who never had the ambition to want to do something with their lives, who had great parents.

It must be tough for the parents of children who may drift into the world and cause their parents much grief. I'm sure it must distress the parents to have this situation to deal with.

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Fred R

As I've read the internet news, which is the only place you read about crime in TV, it appears that the vast majority of crime is committed by "younger" residents who have parents or are some relation to a Village owner. I know the law would never allow it, but it is a shame they can't be "thrown out"

That would be a slippery slope. We could start with throwing out kids who break the law and adults who break the law and then how about people who break the deed restrictions and the minority political party?

I think a lot of the problems with "normal" kids living with their parents may be addiction...or over protection, or both.

There but for the grace of God go most of us.

Accept what we can't change, wisdom to know the difference..........

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by Bryan

My observation is that 'kids living with their parents' in TV fall into one of three general categories.

The first (probably the best) is kids who move her to take care of Mom or Dad who is having physical, mental, or both problems. They sacrifice their personal lives to take care of Mom or Dad. That's what families do!

The second is kids who have hit a rough patch. It may be a job loss, divorce, death of a spouse, or something else. Mon and/or Dad step up to the plate and offer support. That's what families do! Once they are back on their feet, they are out of here and back to their own productive lives.

The last - the ones most often in the news and in jail - are the losers who couldn't cut it on their own in the real world. Now they are back in the empty nest, soaking off of Mon and/or Dad. I don't necessarily think Mom and/or Dad are innocent here - they are enablers for letting their 'loser' offspring soak off of them and dispute life in our retirement community.

Most of us would prefer to see this last group depart our fine community but, alas, that probably won't happen until they get some really serious jail time.

Excellent post ........... however, add one more group to your three ........... what about the "throw away" grandchildren where either the Mother or Father remarries and the new spouse does not want the almost adult child in the house? I personally know of a case, he is over 19, works nights, goes to college during the day and now takes care of his grand parents. He is the nicest young man you could meet. I know for a fact the grand parents did not want to introduce a young man into their nice comfortable home, but he needed them and now, after several years, they need him. I have two adult grand children who live at home with their parents, both well into their 20s and both working and paying off huge college debts.

I get the same feeling when I see these useless individuals preying on their parents, but not all cases are the same.