[ghenley]

My wife and I close on our new home in TV on Dec. 5. While we both are thrilled, I find that my emotions are all over the map. While on one hand I am excited to get down there to enjoy the activities and have the opportunity to make new friends, my feelings flip to sadness and guilt about leaving my 83 year old mother (who refuses to come down with us) and leaving my daughter and grandkids. Getting ready for the move (moving sucks) has kept me and my mind busy, but when things quite down at night I lay in bed with my mind racing thinking have we done the right thing or are we being selfish. I know many of you must have felt this way, how did you work through it?

[Gongy]

Originally Posted by ghenley

My wife and I close on our new home in TV on Dec. 5. While we both are thrilled, I find that my emotions are all over the map. While on one hand I am excited to get down there to enjoy the activities and have the opportunity to make new friends, my feelings flip to sadness and guilt about leaving my 83 year old mother (who refuses to come down with us) and leaving my daughter and grandkids. Getting ready for the move (moving sucks) has kept me and my mind busy, but when things quite down at night I lay in bed with my mind racing thinking have we done the right thing or are we being selfish. I know many of you must have felt this way, how did you work through it?

Just went through the same move and emotions that you are going through. We are also from your area in VA, we lived in Glen Allen. We moved here in August and as hard as the move was, its so worth it. We left our kids, grandchildren and my parent's also, that was and still is difficult. No doubt about it, packing and moving is no fun, but it does keep your mind busy.
Once you get here and get settled you will see what a great choice it was to move here.
Every day there is something to do and the people that you are going to meet are the best. Most of us here are in the same situation, moved here and family elsewhere, so you have lot in common with all.
A new friend that I have from The Villages taught me something that she learned in life and that is "The Hell with Guilt". Do this move for yourself and enjoy everything that The Villages has to offer!
BTW...what Village are you moving into?

[Uptown Girl]

Dear ghenley:
Do not push against the idea of creating joy in your life. It is not noble to give your choice to another.... just as it is not correct to expect another to choose what YOU want THEM to choose.

It is up to YOU to embrace the idea of your own well being, whatever that idea may consist of. This is true for every one of us.

Distract yourself from that illusion of selfishness and let go of it. It serves no purpose and depletes the joy you are striving for.

(in my 'not always humble' opinion)

[CaptJohn]

[JenAjd]

It is emotional to leave a home and friends/family that you've lived in for a long time. But think of it this way..."IF" your daughter and her family had an opportunity to move across the country (because it would benefit their needs, dreams etc.) they would take that opportunity I would venture to guess. Then it would be you who would be left behind. There will always be a way to get together---either thru visits or the internet (think Skype).

Most folks in TV have gone through this and have made whatever adjustments and concessions to support their decision. Best wishes on coming down to TV---once you're here you'll settle in and feel so blessed to be here!!!

[ladydoc]

Originally Posted by ghenley

My wife and I close on our new home in TV on Dec. 5. While we both are thrilled, I find that my emotions are all over the map. While on one hand I am excited to get down there to enjoy the activities and have the opportunity to make new friends, my feelings flip to sadness and guilt about leaving my 83 year old mother (who refuses to come down with us) and leaving my daughter and grandkids. Getting ready for the move (moving sucks) has kept me and my mind busy, but when things quite down at night I lay in bed with my mind racing thinking have we done the right thing or are we being selfish. I know many of you must have felt this way, how did you work through it?

Sounds about right. I think just about all of us were where you are now. I cried alot...as much as I wanted to be here, I had to grieve over what I was losing in order to truly appreciate what I was gaining. We have not regreted it for a moment; you won't either. Just know that your emotions are perfectly normal and accept that this is a process....You will be fine!!!

[wendyquat]

Originally Posted by ghenley

My wife and I close on our new home in TV on Dec. 5. While we both are thrilled, I find that my emotions are all over the map. While on one hand I am excited to get down there to enjoy the activities and have the opportunity to make new friends, my feelings flip to sadness and guilt about leaving my 83 year old mother (who refuses to come down with us) and leaving my daughter and grandkids. Getting ready for the move (moving sucks) has kept me and my mind busy, but when things quite down at night I lay in bed with my mind racing thinking have we done the right thing or are we being selfish. I know many of you must have felt this way, how did you work through it?

I think EVERYBODY here has or has had these same emotions! I keep telling myself "this ain't no dress rehearsal" and it's OUR time now! You are making the right move! Your mother and grandkids will love to visit you here! Welcome!

[ghenley]

I want to thank you all for you great, thoughtful, and kind comments. After reading all of your wonderful responses I now know we have made the right decision. You all have made me aware that at this time in our lives we have all lived a life with similar experiences and concerns.

[Lynn222]

It is tough but you can do it. Live your life for you. You can call your mom everyday. She will be happy that you are happy. TV's is a wonderful life. Just Do It!

[LvmyPug2]

Yep, me too. As soon as we signed on the dotted line I had a panic attack and thought "WHAT HAVE WE DONE????" I was completely taken off guard by this reaction as I had dreamed/planned/looked forward to moving TV for over 5 years. I learned via TOTV that this is very common and it does pass. We've been here a month and are very happy we are here

[GOJODO]

We too moved from Richmond ( Manakin-Sabot) went through the guilt trip.
Were told we were abandoning the family, how could we leave. Well they are very busy kids and we did not see them that often. Now when they come down it is a concentrated time and really fun. They are now on board with the move as for friends they were very supportive from the beginning, sad that we left but happy for us. We return several times a year and the visits are really nice.
We have never looked back since the move and thank our lucky stars that we are in TV.

Welcome aboard, good to have you here.

[Boudicca]

Ditto, for Ladydoc's reply.
I don't believe there is a single person living in TV who did not experience similar thoughts as yours when arriving at their new home here. Most of us have moved from long established homes with all the accompanying little traditions and a certain order to things. While moving to Shangrila is an exciting and very brave thing to do, I imagine we all go through the "grieving process" - its very normal to grieve for our "past lives" and traditions, but look forward to your new life in this very supportive community. The blessings outweigh the sadness and panic. Finally, "welcome" - you made the right choice and you will recognize it when the dust settles. Kind regards. Sandra

[Happinow]

Not sure if my previous post went through so here goes again! We are in the same boat. Our daughter, who is 21, moved to Raleigh, NC last April so we have no children here. My 84 year old mother is here and we are her security. She calls upon us very little, but is comforted knowing we are minutes away, if needed. She is having a very difficult time with us moving, not talking about it at all. We get so conflicted because this is one of the most exciting times of our lives and we want to talk about it to everyone, especially my mom. She won't come live with us as the rest of my sisters and brothers are here. They all think we are crazy for leaving the nest before mom passes, God forbid. Our view is we have worked so hard all of our lives, raised a daughter and now it's our time to live. We are building our dream home in Sanibel on Adreinne Way, lot 29. We will be moving in June of 2012. With our minds a muck, we've come to the conclusion that life is too short and we want to live it up while we are "young." Saying goodbye will be difficult but giving where we are moving makes it much easier. Give your mind a rest and enjoy your life. Mom lived her's and now it's time to live yours. Best of luck!!

[Boudicca]

Your comments say it all, and said so well. "Selfish as it may sound, its our turn now.

[CarGuys]

Originally Posted by Uptown Girl

Dear ghenley:
Do not push against the idea of creating joy in your life. It is not noble to give your choice to another.... just as it is not correct to expect another to choose what YOU want THEM to choose.

It is up to YOU to embrace the idea of your own well being, whatever that idea may consist of. This is true for every one of us.

Distract yourself from that illusion of selfishness and let go of it. It serves no purpose and depletes the joy you are striving for.

(in my 'not always humble' opinion)

Thank you for making us not feel as guilty as we have. We figure what a wonderful place for our kids to come visit.

It's nice to know others have the same feelings.