[jane032657]

My almost 90 year old mom, who now lives with us since my dad passed away in December, did the walk through with me today of all of her life collection of antique dishes, art, crystal, persian carpets, furniture, etc, you get the drift. As we prepare to move to The Villages, where she wil then live at an Assisted Living very close to us in The Villages area, it is just not possible to take all these things to where she will be living. We are preparing for a garage sale for her things and ours. She came out with me, using her walker and very fragile, to our 850 sq foot garage across the yard, and looked at how I had it set up as an antique type store for the sale. She carefully went through everything, looking at every antique dish and this and that, and choosing what was most special to her to take to Florida. Very emotional, sad, and I am sure extensive reminiscing of the life she had with my dad for 67 years. Heartbreaking as you reach near life end, to be downsizing not because you are going to start a new journey and a new way of living full of activity, new friends, new home and new adventures, but because you are going to where you will have the care and safety you need as you become more dependent. for your activities of daily living. A sad day for both of us. The positive side is I am bringing my mom back to Florida for her years to come, after she and my dad lived in Tamarac outside of Fort Lauderdale for 30 years until I moved them here to Seattle 3 years ago. I hope she will make some new friends and new memories when she moves to her assisted living. For now, she is with us until we sell our business and hopefully arrive by September, if things go according to plan.

[ssmith]

What a touching and heart-wrenching story! Thanks for sharing. Your mother is very fortunate to have such a caring daughter.It was esp sad to hear of her going through the sale and choosing those things most important to her. I am sure she will be very comforted knowing that she will still be close to you after the move.

[Barefoot]

Obviously you're very close to your mom, your love shines through. Your note was very touching and made me miss my mom so much. You're a very good daughter.

[graciegirl]

Hugs to you both. Hurry home.

[Mama C]

there is a very nice story in the womens home journal this month about downsizing and going through all of your memories--- it basically says that you will cherish things more if you pick a couple of the most meaningful things and display them rather than having a large collection where the pieces get lost inthe clutter

Me, i cried everytime i picked something up to put in the sale-- took it out of the sale--cried and put it in the next sale---- my memories are in my heart---

Wish you both the best and just know that you have picked the best place to live,

[hotrodgirl]

It's a difficult time for all of you, surely. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you comfort and an easy transition to your new life at TV. I lost my husband almost 4 years ago at 55,and will be coming for a lifestyle visit next week. I think often about that which I may leave behind, no matter where I may end up. But in the end result, that which matters most is in my heart and head. I will never lose those wonderful memories, and will adjust to whatever life has to offer me. You and your Mom will do the same, I am certain. There will be so many opportunities for both of you at TV, and in time, You will all thrive. Bless you for supporting your Mom in such a difficult time for you both. Surely happiness will come your way!

[deb133]

I am sending prayers and good wishes to both you and your mom Jane. I know it was hard for you when your dad passed away and now you are once again faced with parting with sweet memories. Happy days are on the horizon. Your mom will be moving back to Florida and will be well cared for while you will be moving into your beautiful new home. Please don't forget to email me. I am looking forward to meeting you.

[gerryann]

A very beautiful life story Jane...and how lucky your mom is to have you in her life. Thanks for sharing with all of your soon to be new friends and neighbors.

[asianthree]

I am sure she will make friends soon. Its hard to give up things from your life that made you so happy

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by jane032657

My almost 90 year old mom, who now lives with us since my dad passed away in December, did the walk through with me today of all of her life collection of antique dishes, art, crystal, persian carpets, furniture, etc, you get the drift. As we prepare to move to The Villages, where she wil then live at an Assisted Living very close to us in The Villages area, it is just not possible to take all these things to where she will be living. We are preparing for a garage sale for her things and ours. She came out with me, using her walker and very fragile, to our 850 sq foot garage across the yard, and looked at how I had it set up as an antique type store for the sale. She carefully went through everything, looking at every antique dish and this and that, and choosing what was most special to her to take to Florida. Very emotional, sad, and I am sure extensive reminiscing of the life she had with my dad for 67 years. Heartbreaking as you reach near life end, to be downsizing not because you are going to start a new journey and a new way of living full of activity, new friends, new home and new adventures, but because you are going to where you will have the care and safety you need as you become more dependent. for your activities of daily living. A sad day for both of us. The positive side is I am bringing my mom back to Florida for her years to come, after she and my dad lived in Tamarac outside of Fort Lauderdale for 30 years until I moved them here to Seattle 3 years ago. I hope she will make some new friends and new memories when she moves to her assisted living. For now, she is with us until we sell our business and hopefully arrive by September, if things go according to plan.

She is blessed to have you as such a compassionate caring daughter.
Your mom is also fortunate to still be mobile enough to walk around your lovingly displayed items from her past home and life....helping you sort through her memories and be allowed in the decision making process.

My mother decided to move up to be near us , upon her retirement, having a good 30 plus years in her new environment which she called "God's Country", never dreaming she would live in a place so green and beautiful.

She passed at age 91, having been widowed again........and is buried in this beautiful green mountain state........so I can say that it is NOT easy caring for an aging parent, watching them decline.......however, it is truly a blessing to you and your family to experience what aging is like.......we also had to put my mom, eventually, in an assisted living place. They do adjust fairly quickly and very well......at least mine did. We'd visit and take her out for rides and walks. Prior to that, she lived in our home for 6 years. She literally became my "baby" and I do miss her......still.

However, the gist of your story re the "downsizing"......I'm so for it, at an earlier age. As someone else said, the memories are in your heart and one doesn't need "things".........as my dear m.i.l. used to say, just more things to dust.

God Bless and Good Luck to you and yours.........

[buggyone]

Very touching posting. I remember all the memories we got rid of when we moved from Maryland to The Villages. It is not easy to do.

Well, you are lucky to have your mother moving close to The Villages so she can enjoy some of the things with you. Unfortunately, as you know, she is not eligible for an In-Area Guest Pass for use of club meetings, Rec Centers, pools, etc. Those are only for children and grandchildren of Village Residents in the tri-county area.

Cherish your time with your mother and build new memories with her. Welcome to The Villages.

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by buggyone

Very touching posting. I remember all the memories we got rid of when we moved from Maryland to The Villages. It is not easy to do.

Well, you are lucky to have your mother moving close to The Villages so she can enjoy some of the things with you. Unfortunately, as you know, she is not eligible for an In-Area Guest Pass for use of club meetings, Rec Centers, pools, etc. Those are only for children and grandchildren of Village Residents in the tri-county area.

Cherish your time with your mother and build new memories with her. Welcome to The Villages.

With all due respect, I doubt very much if a 90 year old will be wanting to frequent the various places you mention above.......although of course there are always exceptions .........but for the most part, most 90 somethings we have known have decreased mobility and it's rather difficult and slow going for the caregiver to take them anywhere.

We do know one 95 year old who still runs in senior marathons, but again, that is not the norm.

But as you say, she is lucky indeed to still have a parent and yes, she should cherish the time left..........

[jane032657]

Wow, thank you all, I am overwhelmed with all the beautiful messages and words of caring. I feel blessed to have so many wonderful people coming into our lives. My mom is still quite cognizant with some normal memory loss for her age but sharp. She is walking with the walker-she just re-learned how to walk after her legs atrophied post surgery (she was rushed to hospital two hours after my dad died with a bowel blockage and had surgery the day of my dad's funeral) ; she did not recover post surgery for almost two months. We call her the miracle woman because the doctors and rehab told us to pull her feeding tube and let her die, she was not waking up. Religiously we could and would not do that. Then one day I walked into the rehab and the staff told me she pulled the tube out herself and wow, she came back to life, recognizing us, talking and coming out of her withdrawn state. Unbelievable. And here she is. So your warmth, caring, loving words are taken deeply into my heart and even though it is tough for my mom to say goodbye to her things, she has the gift of her life to carry on with and she is very focused on moving back to Florida sunshine. Thank you all again, I really was awed to wake up this morning and see all your responses. My mom is not an activities type person, but she will love the music in the town squares, hanging out at our home, watching the horses at polo matches, going to restaurants, sitting by the pool (she would not go into a pool), and socializing, that will fill her life, and hopefully being open to new friends at the Assisted Living, she just likes people around her and of course mostly her family near her as she learns to live life without my dad. I look forward to you all meeting her!!! Well now I am on to one of many garage sales to come! If you want another true miracle, pray today for sunshine in Seattlle!!! And just know I am taken with your kind thoughts and words.

[redwitch]

If it's not too late, take pictures of the items you are going to sell but have beautiful stories behind them. Take some quick notes to type up later. Add the notes to the pictures and make a scrapbook. It will not only be a beautiful reminder for your mother but for the entire family in later years.

I had to move many times as a child and truly hate to get rid of anything that has a memory for me today. When moving from California to here, the only way I could get rid of anything was the picture/note routine. I still brought way too many things.

Your mother is blessed to have you in her life. You paint such a loving picture. May your mother leave you with more wonderful memories in Florida. Bless you, your mother and your family.

[hotrodgirl]

Originally Posted by redwitch

If it's not too late, take pictures of the items you are going to sell but have beautiful stories behind them. Take some quick notes to type up later. Add the notes to the pictures and make a scrapbook. It will not only be a beautiful reminder for your mother but for the entire family in later years.

I had to move many times as a child and truly hate to get rid of anything that has a memory for me today. When moving from California to here, the only way I could get rid of anything was the picture/note routine. I still brought way too many things.

Your mother is blessed to have you in her life. You paint such a loving picture. May your mother leave you with more wonderful memories in Florida. Bless you, your mother and your family.

What a lovely idea! That will certainly help to make the transition easier. I may even consider that for myself as a wonderful remembrance of my years here! Well stated!!