[Bill-n-Brillo]

Joe, glad to hear of the new direction! Hope it all goes well - - - -

Bill

[Schaumburger]

Joe, I also wish you the best with your mom and your son. Please pass on "my thank you for serving our country" to your son when you speak to or e-mail him. I hope all goes well with your mom moving to Mission Oaks.

[Ebsmom]

Joe the best of luck to your mom on her move to Mission Oaks. I went thru moving my mom as well from her home in Tn to Al yrs ago. At times it was difficult but we all knew it was something we had to do and made the best of it for the remaining yrs we had to spend with her. God Bless you all and I hope you enjoy many more yrs with your mom
Ebsmom

[rjm1cc]

Originally Posted by JoeC1947;5***61

Anybody out there ever have to put their mom of Dad into an assisted living facility? How did you handle the stress? I'm not talking about the stress on them but the stress on you? I'm finding it very difficult to know what the right thing to do is. I have 3 sisters that live up north and they all want her (mom) to go to a place up there so she is closer to them. She has been here with us for 2 years and I think that FL is the better place for her, mostly for the weather. My mom is considering going up north so my sisters won't have to travel so far. It's not like my sisters have been pillars of support either. Two years ago they wanted to put her in a home and I said no way so my wife and I took her in. We gave her 2 great years down here but now she's on the fence. She is starting to need more care than my wife and I are capable of giving and safety is beginning to be a concern. I feel that now is the time to place her because she is still adaptable. We've looked at 5 places and we think that Mission Oaks in Oxford is a good fit for her. I want my mom to make the decision for herself but she doesn't want to be "selfish" and I'm afraid that she would make the decision that would make my sisters more comfortable.

Not an easy solution but close to you sounds best. Having frequent visitors that can keep tabs on how well the home is treating your mother is very important. Probably the main reason to stay in Florida. Also taking her out from time to time would be nice. Going North would be starting life all over vs staying in Fl and just making modifications to what she has been doing.

[TF Hutch]

Originally Posted by NotGolfer

Does anyone know "if" there are resources for counseling the "children" of the elderly on how to proceed with the care of the elderly parents? Someone whose a 3rd party and won't benefit from the outcome?? I'm wondering if you couldn't talk to someone familiar with elder-care??

I am in the same situation. My 95 year old father, who suffers from dementia, chooses to live by himself. My wife and I are currently snowbirds, staying close to him for the past 5 winters. He was scheduled to enter an assisted living facility last April but then decided to keep on living at home. He dose not like strangers in his home, he fires them. We will close on the sale of our house in December and are going to move from New England to FL and rent a place within walking distance of him.

The one thing I have done is lookup an Elder Law attorney in his area and will have a chat with them to understand my responsibilties in accordance with FL law. As his son and co trustee of his revocable trust it is my responsibility to look out for him to the best of my ability. Other siblings have busy lives elsewhere and are only able to visit occasionally. I look forward to spending more time with my Dad, he and my wife are my best friends.

[jgbama]

Originally Posted by TF Hutch

I am in the same situation. My 95 year old father, who suffers from dementia, chooses to live by himself. My wife and I are currently snowbirds, staying close to him for the past 5 winters. He was scheduled to enter an assisted living facility last April but then decided to keep on living at home. He dose not like strangers in his home, he fires them. We will close on the sale of our house in December and are going to move from New England to FL and rent a place within walking distance of him.

The one thing I have done is lookup an Elder Law attorney in his area and will have a chat with them to understand my responsibilties in accordance with FL law. As his son and co trustee of his revocable trust it is my responsibility to look out for him to the best of my ability. Other siblings have busy lives elsewhere and are only able to visit occasionally. I look forward to spending more time with my Dad, he and my wife are my best friends.

I sent "Notgolfer" a PM, but decided to share with you too. My MIL (who will be 92 Saturday) will be moving to TV with us next month. I found a website and get eletters from them. The site is "www.aplaceformom.com". I've read the newsletters but have not spent a lot of time on their website. Noticed they have advisors you can contact for assistance. Sorry I can't tell you more, but it may help. Caring for an elderly parent is certainly a challenge. Finding help for the "caregiver" is even a bigger challenge.

Blessings to all who care for their parent(s). They did care for us for longer then we are caring for them!

[jane032657]

A Place For Mom is a reputable company and what they do is take a fee from the assisted living or nursing home that they refer you too should you move your loved one in. Usually they have a contract with certain places and get thousands (and sometimes thousands and thousands) of dollars for every move in they refer and secure. That is how they worked when I ran assisted livings.

[jgbama]

Originally Posted by jane032657

A Place For Mom is a reputable company and what they do is take a fee from the assisted living or nursing home that they refer you too should you move your loved one in. Usually they have a contract with certain places and get thousands (and sometimes thousands and thousands) of dollars for every move in they refer and secure. That is how they worked when I ran assisted livings.

Appreciate the additional info. I knew there had to be some revenue connection.