Talk of The Villages Florida - Can anyone help this woman?

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Originally Posted by Spalumbos62 (Post 1873895)

Well...you did come on a little strong saying you could buy her out and then rent back.
Honestly, if this was my grandmother and she was getting this offer from you, I would tell her to run for the hills .
But, truth be told, the thread should not have ever even started....... the only way this became anyone's business is because of the town posting the situation and now people are deciding what she should be getting monthly from the army.... planning on buying her house and making her a tennant, fixing her birdcage....back off folks...let her decide.
I bet its been no stop door traffic since this post....the poor thing.

I agree. Any investor would buy the house and lease it back for the right price. But, who is going to negotiate on her behalf?

She gets at most 1/2 her husbands retirement plus whatever social security. Probably over $5000 a month total I am guessing. The couple should have planned better. This story played out with my Mom. Over spending to the tune of $3000 a month. Reality check. You will run out of money in five years Mom. Got her to back off on her gratiitous spending and live within her means. Her principle is not touched now. i suggest this lady needs to sit down with a financial counselor.

The woman does have a daughter, don't know how close they are but that should be the first person to help her get straightened out. Maybe she doesn't visit her here and doesn't know the situation.

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Originally Posted by DON10E (Post 1873121)

You may be right, but her husband’s pension may have ended at his death. Not enough info.

Depends if he had surviver benefits setup Nd of course when he retired? I would think full bird colonel would planned for that? People not going keep her in life style she’s use to, she has to down size it she can’t afford to live there. After 8 years she probably exhausted all good neighbor labor?

First, has anyone contacted the local counsel on aging? I don't know what is available near TV, but I have dealt with several in Ohio. They should have a representative who can come in, assess the situation, and hook the troubled lady up with the appropriate services. I have always found the counsel on aging to be very helpful. Around here they have services to help clean and repair homes that are provided on a sliding scale. Something like this could be of considerable help to her. Even if they don't come to the house, they should have a list of trusted, reasonable professionals for her to use.

Second, is there any evidence of any type of elder abuse by relatives, etc? If so, the county department of human services can step in and help out.

Since we are not yet retired, we are in and out. We will be there Dec 19-Jan 2. I'll volunteer my two kids (young, flexible, and strong) and come myself if there's a work day at her home to help out while we are at TV.

Why not just have someone contact her daughter and see what she has to say, she can be hiding things from her and it's quite possible that she doesn't know what is happening with her mother. That should be the first step in resolving the problems.

I’m amazed that there are so many people praising this Kim person who may be who she says she is , but maybe she is not , this is the same group of people who see scams everywhere and talk about bolting there doors band arming themselves. I’m sure with all the publicity she has many sharks swimming around her home what she doesn’t need is people knocking on her door. What she might need is a good lawyer or good realtor , or just maybe be left alone

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Originally Posted by charlieo1126@gmail.com (Post 1874186)

I agree, it sounds as though she is quite capable of representing herself in court. Her only obligation is to keep her home up to community standards. The rest is all speculation.

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Originally Posted by Papa Muzzy (Post 1873106)

Where are her neighbors ?

Why should her neighbors be obligated to help her? And maybe they can’t. You can’t “expect” or assume your neighbors can or will help you. We did that the first 55 and older place we lived at and got taken advantage of!

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Originally Posted by Alaska Butch (Post 1873900)

I don’t know how officer retirement works, I sure they get more benefits than enlisted, the few always get more especially when federal government involved. I can tell how enlisted works. You have donate some of you retirement check for survivors benefits and it’s quit chuck for 1/2 survivors benefits for the spouse, or spouse don’t get any of the retirement when other dies. The half million house comes with extreme expenses especially in Marion country. I don’t think it fair cause the spouse gives up career with moving every 3 to 7 years.

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Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 1873108)

Family?

Family, unfortunately, is not always the answer for many. Of course it works for some, but I also know of many situations where it's not possible. It seems the legal/governmental answer, when people have very little money, no job, no prospects for a job, and in "our" collective wisdom, we fine them MORE. Have seen this done to the homeless, the indigent, RAISE the fines, that will solve it, charge them MORE. Of course it's a problem here, we don't want our property diminished by the neglect of others either, but in a community of people this age, there could be some mental "slippage", may be no adult children to run in and be the heroes, my be adult children who are unemployed in these times, may be drug or alcohol addicts, who knows. But compassion, understanding, and maybe even "someone" willing to sit down and talk, just be a friend, help with the decisions (and yes, a less expensive piece of property is one possible answer, but just RAISE the fine as our politicians almost always come up with, in reality, does not solve the problem. This woman needs guidance, some support, and NO, I am not just some "bleeding heart", sometimes people just need an understanding person to help guide them to solutions, not MORE FINES. It could happen to ANY of us... people tend to forget that !

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Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby (Post 1873125)

There's no reason why she should even still be living in that house, other than sentimental stubbornness. She could sell it for $350,000, far below whatever Zillow claims it's worth, "as is," buy a smaller home in the Spanish Springs area for around $200,000. With the profits she can afford to hire a professional mover, pay the amenity fees, and hire a lawn and pesticide guy for the next 5 years. She'd have plenty left over for taxes and to supplement whatever her Social Security income is.

Yep, it's all so simple ! But, maybe, just maybe, it sometimes seems (mentally) just insurmountable. Maybe, just maybe, she needs a GENUINE, caring, friend, not to solve it all for her, but to support her through this. I heard from a relative about a group where she lives in Arizona who does just that. They are a group in her retirement area that are committed to just being a friend in this kind of circumstance, not bail the person out financially, but some widowers and windows have no children, some have children who are not employed, ill, drug addicted, etc. and can not help, so the organization is just dedicated to being a friend when you are in need of someone to listen, understand, and help you make a plan to do what needs to be done (such as selling, buying a smaller place, finding an affordable senior residence sometimes, just not being alone in making decisions that confuse and overwhelm). People DO get mental fatigue and need support.

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Originally Posted by Chitown (Post 1873801)

I would be willing to donate a fairly large sum of money to help this woman but I would first need to be guaranteed that I can visit the home and see for myself and talk to the woman before I would give her money.

Someone mentioned she needed a financial advisor, I think she may just need one or two GOOD friends, not a paid advisor. Sometimes things can seem just insurmountable, but with some good friendship and support, one CAN push ahead. Remember, just listing, showings, packing, moving, etc. can be excruciating if one is not in top mental condition. I wonder if the VA has any services that would just be as simple as a little informal counseling and just being with here to talk to various real estate agents, make a plan, etc. Even a church that has free counseling services that are more "friendship" oriented than "professional" maybe ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by pcacace (Post 1873681)

Selling and getting a patio villa makes the best sense. Less space to take care of and lots of cash in the bank.

Agree, but, she may need someone, a "REAL" friend who cares, to guide her through that. As for cash in the bank ? She might not have a great deal of equity, if she also goes through an agent, could come out with nothing ! Don't know of course. Good friends could sure help a lot just to be there for her.

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Originally Posted by NavyVet (Post 1873515)

This situation is very sad and we all sympathize. I'm sure nobody expects to lose a spouse so soon into retirement. None of us can know who will live outlive who or for how long. That's why it is so critical for good financial/retirement planning, both for worst case scenario and different contingencies.
When my spouse retired after 20+ years service, we decided together to turn down the SBP. We found it quite pricey for the benefits received, especially since it banked on the spouse outliving the retiree by a lot of years to make it worth the cost. What we did was take that same premium amount and bought really good life insurance policies on both of us and invested the rest on our own. My spouse made sure that whenever the time comes that something happens to him, I'd be taken care of, something he learned from his father. Either one of us left behind will 'downsize' when that time comes. It's being practical versus an overly sentimental attachment to a house.
That said, we know very little facts, just a lot of guessing. However, the situation is just not sustainable as it is. The homeowner apparently cannot afford to keep and maintain this large home with a pool on the golf course by herself. Is the pool ever even used? Let's say hypothetically she puts the house up for sale. If there is no money for repairs, then the house would have to sell as is, which means she will not get top dollar and have to settle for a lower price. However, there are many adorable patio villas and cottages for less than half that which would leave her some money leftover to live on for a while, a fresh start so to speak, or even moving outside TV that would be even cheaper. There are many of us who can't afford a pool home on a golf course. I agree with posters that said throwing money at the immediate issues is just a short term fix and doesn't help in the long run. There are too many unknowns; are there any family/relatives? How much can the church or neighbors help out and for how long? Maybe there are cognitive issues, not uncommon at that age. Perhaps there are physical limitations to prevent taking care of so much home. What we do know is this did not happen yesterday or overnight. The spouse passed 8 years ago. People bite off more than they can chew all the time with a big house and then are cash poor. Then one partner loses a job, or gets sick, or dies, losing the income needed to pay the bills - it's just not sustainable.
It makes me think of another possibility; my parents had a thing for many years known as "decision paralysis." Any time there was anything that needed a decision, a choice, or a course of action, they were incapable of making the decision, big or small. Instead of choosing, they would do nothing; they'd stick their heads in the sand and ignore it, hoping it would go away. Not committing to a course of action is in itself a 'choice.' They would always wait until the choice was taken out of their hands. It was so frustrating. It is difficult to help anyone who does not want to accept help, even when providing solutions to a problem. Just saying there might not be much people can do other than to try and point a person in the right direction for financial counseling/budgeting, APS, social worker, elder law, etc.

So well said ! Many can't think past their own circumstances and experiences.... RAISE her fines, that will do it, CALL HER KIDS, that will do it, TELL her to MOVE, that will do it....... thank you for demonstrating there are thinking people on this site who understand beyond their own door step. God bless you