[ConeyIsBabe]

Originally Posted by chuckinca

CIB

Long time no see - welcome back.

Just noticed your comment about being with Bambi; we currently have a small herd eating the wife's roses, any recommendations about protecting the roses from the dears.

Thanks

Chuck

Chuck~
Bambi loves roses ~~ the only way I know to keep deer out of the garden is to fence-it-in with "deer fence", which I have around my rose garden. Otherwise they get into everything. They're very cute, but carry deer ticks so that's not a good thing!

[Russ_Boston]

Originally Posted by ssmith

Just a quick thought, you mentioned that there are many cliques at events there in TV. Is that unusual. I guess what I mean is that I have moved often and find it takes some time to break into the crowd of regulars....not that they exclude on purpose but just don't go over board to include newbes. Is that the case there? Seems you have persevered. Also wonder if this is more prevalent if you live in a very long established neighborhood?

CIB - There are a couple of relatively new posters who are already part of this fictitious inner circle. They are already FB friends as well. Gracie, Kathie, Red, SamHass, Katezbox, Pturner, Rhonda (remember her?) and many others I wish I had the time to list have all held meet and greets in person for newbies when they visit. These people are gracious beyond belief. They all came out to meet me in 2007 soon after I joined the forum. I had four lunches with new friends when we came to our house in May.

Please newbies don't listen to this jibber/jabber about cliques and inner circles. It's like Nessy, it doesn't exist.

[Schaumburger]

Originally Posted by angiefox10

A clique , is an inclusive group of people who share interests, views, purposes, patterns of behavior, or ethnicity. A clique as a reference group can be either normative or comparative. ...

Everyone says it like it's a bad thing. It's not good or bad...It just is.

First I think EVERYONE KNOWS that Sky was trying to be funny with this post by now.

Regardless... My life is nothing but cliques. I have my dog group, I have my girlie girl group, I have my work group, I have my book group and so on. I doubt if everyone will fit into all if any of my "cliques". Why would you want to! I belong to a lot of "cliques" as do most of you. I'm not very good at belonging to one "clique" so don't try to make me!

Most of us have been here long enough to know who is who. Sky, Bill, Pturner are the funny ones, gracie is the gentle soul with the kind word (while she can be funny as well) , Kathi (don't know how she has her name) is the gatherer, she brings everyone together... I think you see what I mean. We all have our different personalities. We aren't going to all fit in each others groups.

It's not meant to be mean...

For example, after this post started, I reached out to several of you in a PM offering friendship. Know what??? Not one person responded. I'm not offended (to be honest, I totally understand, but that's another thread) but to my point... You clearly didn't want me in you Clique while you complained that you yourself were left out. We are all left out of a group at one time or another... Why would you even want to be in a group that would doesn't want you.

There are people on here that are trying to cause trouble. That BTW was why Gracie questioned someone identity because she caught it. Don't be fooled by the posters who come on here only when something like this gets started and takes your side... But is NEVER here when we are all getting along! They don't care about you, they are just playing with you...

Well... I've put in my 2 cents for today... after the market crash... maybe 1 cent.
Now... can we talk about that handshake????

Angie -- you have one cent. . . after today I have 1/2 of one cent . This better not delay my eventual move to TV. I may have to vote Republican next year. . .please don't move this to the political forum.

[Schaumburger]

Pturner -- what a nice uplifting post! Thank you for posting this.

[graciegirl]

All these posts are making ME feel a whole lot better. I know that almost everyone I know well tries so hard to make newcomers feel welcome, not only on here, but of course in the reality of day to day living in The Villages.

It seems that the people who post positively most of the time...We can't all be positive about everything, those are the ones who come to the meetings at Crispers that Kathie and all of the rest have arranged over the years, and the other meetings not at Crispers times that many people have tried to do to catch the ones who are new and won't be here at Crispers time.

The "smile-ier" folks come to places where they can meet people in person and arrange to meet others in person on their own.

I have NEVER EVER met any of the more consistently negative posters in person. Makes me wonder if they are the "T" word. Don't cha know.

There are some PILLS among us, and we all have PILL days and sometimes the printed word just doesn't show our true intentions.

Please any of you who have any reservations, please come here and see how friendly this beautiful place is.

AND I don't work for the developer.

Gracie. Who tries to be nice, and sometimes fails.

[kofficer]

Wait a minute, what happened to TV being about the friendliness of the people. Isn't this why you move to TV? I know we have been looking forward to being able to enjoy some of the many activities we see listed when we come to TV, and it appears you are saving, that probably won't happen, unless we fight to get in?? Because that would totally be a deal breaker for me. My husband and I are are both on the shy side, and if this is true, this is not the place for us.

Lee in Tampa, for now.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by kofficer

Wait a minute, what happened to TV being about the friendliness of the people. Isn't this why you move to TV? I know we have been looking forward to being able to enjoy some of the many activities we see listed when we come to TV, and it appears you are saving, that probably won't happen, unless we fight to get in?? Because that would totally be a deal breaker for me. My husband and I are are both on the shy side, and if this is true, this is not the place for us.

Lee in Tampa, for now.

It is, It is, IT IS!

This thead was meant to be a joke.

There has been a full moon or somethin' going on around here. Just read the last few posts just before the one you just made.

You will love it here. Drive over soon and see it one more time.

NO, I don't work for the developer. I don't work at all.

[ilovetv]

Originally Posted by kofficer

Wait a minute, what happened to TV being about the friendliness of the people. Isn't this why you move to TV? I know we have been looking forward to being able to enjoy some of the many activities we see listed when we come to TV, and it appears you are saving, that probably won't happen, unless we fight to get in?? Because that would totally be a deal breaker for me. My husband and I are are both on the shy side, and if this is true, this is not the place for us.

Lee in Tampa, for now.

Lee, while I like reading TOTV to find out various things like tried and true service providers (home improvement, handymen, painters, etc.) and retail/restaurant reviews, a few negative posters here on TOTV are not representative of the whole of TV nor is it representative of your new TV neighborhood nor the people who gather at the recreation facilities/activities for a given sport or activity. We bought a CYV in a 3-year-old neighborhood, and as soon as we looked at the CYV the second time, all our neighbors came over to say hi and welcome us into the neighborhood. We are still amazed at how we soon had more friends after several weeks of owning our place and not even living full-time here yet, than we had after years in our last place in the midwest.

We are constantly busy with a full social calendar of things to do with our neighbors, their friends, friends of friends, people we meet at the town squares in the evening, and friends in our home state clubs,etc. Everywhere we go in TV, people are extremely friendly and welcoming. It's only about once in 4 months that we encounter a person who does not want to talk and be friendly (or acts like you have no right to start a conversation with them...seeming downright rude), but we figure that is because they come from a place where people simply do not "neighbor" or they're just bitter and "who needs 'em anyway?".

PTurner's post above about being new to the water aerobics class is pretty typical, I'd say, about joining in on recreation and other activities. Let's face it.....most of us are parents and we women, especially, are used to caring for others and we remember what it was like being "the new kid in school" or moving and taking our own kids to a new sports team or whatever practice. And.......

We all remember what it was like stepping up to the golf tee after having only a few beginner lessons/clinics, and not wanting to look like a total moron (which in golf....can last for the next 30 years.....looked like a moron teeing off just yesterday!)

As for this "clique" thing being discussed here, I think it has more to do with identities of posters and those of us who do not want to put our personal information and identity out here. Unknown identities here sometimes get questioned.....but there are good reasons to remain anonymous.

Many of us are not retired yet, and are employed or looking for a job, and we do not want our opinions--especially the political ones--scrutinized by our boss or potential employer who is vindictive. (I've had very few bosses who are NOT vindictive.) It's very easy to google somebody and read about them if you are an employer ready to hire somebody, and for years now, there have been advisories in business journals about "mining companies" that gather dirt about a person online in social networking sites, and then that information is kept in databases for paid background checking.

I can't imagine for even 2 seconds putting my picture and name, etc. here, and I don't like Facebook for that reason either, even though a person can keep their info as closed and private as they want. There are always hackers and break-ins to Facebook pages. Just the other day, I got a private message from a Facebook friend (or at least the hacker USED my FB friend's account), and the thing was so full x-rated filth that I wanted to vomit. I reported it to FB and closed off my info and privacy settings even more.

If I were you, I would rely on what I see in the actual neighborhood where I'm considering buying...go for a walk there in the evening or early morning, and talk to people who are out talking in the driveways, walking their dog etc. Also, go to the neighborhood pools and just lounge for awhile....that is one of the best places to meet people! I think most people like to meet the new people moving in, and it's interesting to learn about the experiences of people moving here from so many varying places.

[kofficer]

Thank you to both you and Gracie for your posts. We are actually coming up tomorrow for a full week, and then for the rest of the weekends in August, so we can really go to the rec centers and the neighborhood pools, etc. We plan on going to every open house we can find, to get a "real" look at the kind of things we have been looking at pics of on the internet. This is our fifth trip and we are probably going to have our house sold by next spring. We are going to buy as soon as we find that "wonderful" home, and live in a small apartment here until we retire for good in 2013 (as least I will). My husband may work a couple more years remotely from the Villages. We get nervous when we see these posts about it being so hard to become a part of things, because it's high on our list of reasons for coming . . . we've worked odd hours all our lives, and now it is going to be time to be social and meet people. We have looked at ALL the other developments in Florida, I think, and NONE can offer us what the Villages can. The convenience of doctors, hospital, restaurants, shopping, Spanish Springs, Katie Bells (visited for lunch on life style visit and stayed all afternoon listening to the wonderful singer); LSL (my favorite place, I think). We were up for the pro-am bowling tournament in April, we are avid bowlers, another reason to come, and on and on. Finding it hard not to buy our home now and start enjoying, but two mortgages does not appeal to my hubby!!

Thanks for your reassuring posts.

Lee and Richard in Tampa.

[angiefox10]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

It is, It is, IT IS!

This thead was meant to be a joke.

There has been a full moon or somethin' going on around here. Just read the last few posts just before the one you just made.

You will love it here. Drive over soon and see it one more time.

NO, I don't work for the developer. I don't work at all.

Originally Posted by ilovetv

Lee, while I like reading TOTV to find out various things like tried and true service providers (home improvement, handymen, painters, etc.) and retail/restaurant reviews, a few negative posters here on TOTV are not representative of the whole of TV nor is it representative of your new TV neighborhood nor the people who gather at the recreation facilities/activities for a given sport or activity. We bought a CYV in a 3-year-old neighborhood, and as soon as we looked at the CYV the second time, all our neighbors came over to say hi and welcome us into the neighborhood. We are still amazed at how we soon had more friends after several weeks of owning our place and not even living full-time here yet, than we had after years in our last place in the midwest.

We are constantly busy with a full social calendar of things to do with our neighbors, their friends, friends of friends, people we meet at the town squares in the evening, and friends in our home state clubs,etc. Everywhere we go in TV, people are extremely friendly and welcoming. It's only about once in 4 months that we encounter a person who does not want to talk and be friendly (or acts like you have no right to start a conversation with them...seeming downright rude), but we figure that is because they come from a place where people simply do not "neighbor" or they're just bitter and "who needs 'em anyway?".

PTurner's post above about being new to the water aerobics class is pretty typical, I'd say, about joining in on recreation and other activities. Let's face it.....most of us are parents and we women, especially, are used to caring for others and we remember what it was like being "the new kid in school" or moving and taking our own kids to a new sports team or whatever practice. And.......

We all remember what it was like stepping up to the golf tee after having only a few beginner lessons/clinics, and not wanting to look like a total moron (which in golf....can last for the next 30 years.....looked like a moron teeing off just yesterday!)

As for this "clique" thing being discussed here, I think it has more to do with identities of posters and those of us who do not want to put our personal information and identity out here. Unknown identities here sometimes get questioned.....but there are good reasons to remain anonymous.

Many of us are not retired yet, and are employed or looking for a job, and we do not want our opinions--especially the political ones--scrutinized by our boss or potential employer who is vindictive. (I've had very few bosses who are NOT vindictive.) It's very easy to google somebody and read about them if you are an employer ready to hire somebody, and for years now, there have been advisories in business journals about "mining companies" that gather dirt about a person online in social networking sites, and then that information is kept in databases for paid background checking.

I can't imagine for even 2 seconds putting my picture and name, etc. here, and I don't like Facebook for that reason either, even though a person can keep their info as closed and private as they want. There are always hackers and break-ins to Facebook pages. Just the other day, I got a private message from a Facebook friend (or at least the hacker USED my FB friend's account), and the thing was so full x-rated filth that I wanted to vomit. I reported it to FB and closed off my info and privacy settings even more.

If I were you, I would rely on what I see in the actual neighborhood where I'm considering buying...go for a walk there in the evening or early morning, and talk to people who are out talking in the driveways, walking their dog etc. Also, go to the neighborhood pools and just lounge for awhile....that is one of the best places to meet people! I think most people like to meet the new people moving in, and it's interesting to learn about the experiences of people moving here from so many varying places.

:BigApplaus e:

[Lou and Carolyn C.]

I love The Villages - nuff said!!!

[ilovetv]

Originally Posted by kofficer

.....We have looked at ALL the other developments in Florida, I think, and NONE can offer us what the Villages can. The convenience of doctors, hospital, restaurants, shopping, Spanish Springs, Katie Bells (visited for lunch on life style visit and stayed all afternoon listening to the wonderful singer); LSL (my favorite place, I think). We were up for the pro-am bowling tournament in April, we are avid bowlers, another reason to come, and on and on. Finding it hard not to buy our home now and start enjoying, but two mortgages does not appeal to my hubby!!

Thanks for your reassuring posts.

Lee and Richard in Tampa.

You are on your way! Just think "Forward....Forward...Forward"!

[Larry Wilson]

Moved here long before TOTV. Easiest way to make friends is go to what interests you. I have golf friends, volleyball friends, baseball friends, church friends, pool friends, basketball friends, gym friends and live in a very close neighborhood full of friends. Probably one of the best places to make friends is to volunteer. Many more friends than I can keep up with and the one reason I really like it here.
That being said, there are unfriendly neighborhoods and cliques trying to take over some pools, clubs boards etc. I highly recommend you knock on doors and check out neighborhoods and hang with people who make you feel good and share your interests. There are neighborhoods that get together once a week and neighborhoods that are very cold.
Don't anybody feel that totv is the best or only way to make friends. This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions are just as valid as any ones. I had Gracie mock me with the help of her friends and Russ tell me I was wrong. I decided right then that I would not accept chastisement from these people. My biggest strength Is not letting others decide my feelings. I volunteer alot and that's what makes me feel good, along with some Gold in Senior games and many real face to face friends. So message is...Everyone has a right to their experiences and opinions. Now off to one of my volunteer groups and a total detachment from people who have judged me on here. Don't worry-it is easy to make face to face friends who share your interests here.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by Larry Wilson

Moved here long before TOTV. Easiest way to make friends is go to what interests you. I have golf friends, volleyball friends, baseball friends, church friends, pool friends, basketball friends, gym friends and live in a very close neighborhood full of friends. Probably one of the best places to make friends is to volunteer. Many more friends than I can keep up with and the one reason I really like it here.
That being said, there are unfriendly neighborhoods and cliques trying to take over some pools, clubs boards etc. I highly recommend you knock on doors and check out neighborhoods and hang with people who make you feel good and share your interests. There are neighborhoods that get together once a week and neighborhoods that are very cold.
Don't anybody feel that totv is the best or only way to make friends. This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions are just as valid as any ones. I had Gracie mock me with the help of her friends and Russ tell me I was wrong. I decided right then that I would not accept chastisement from these people. My biggest strength Is not letting others decide my feelings. I volunteer alot and that's what makes me feel good, along with some Gold in Senior games and many real face to face friends. So message is...Everyone has a right to their experiences and opinions. Now off to one of my volunteer groups and a total detachment from people who have judged me on here. Don't worry-it is easy to make face to face friends who share your interests here.

I cannot and will not say you haven't experienced what you have stated nor will I criticize what you have stated in this post. I agree with parts of your post and I disagree with others, but I emphasize that this is normal in any social forums.

However, what I will state is that I have been on TOTV only one or two months less than you have and have posted considerably more, but have not experienced what you state you have. I've been counseled by the admins more than once and suspended without reason or explaination, but looked at it as positive feedback!

I've made several friends and had many positive feedbacks on my posts, both open and private with nearly no negative reactions. I've only met a few TOTV members in person and no more than once for any of them. I've been made happy at times and aggrivated at others, but have rarely complained even when it was warranted to do so.

With that being said, I can't help but wonder why I have not even come close to experiencing what you have expressed when I have been at least four times more active than you. There must be a reason for that, but I do ask others out there NOT to offer me any negative answers in response to that! If you must respond, then please do it through a PM. It's NOT my intention to attack Mr. Wilson or influence others to so. He has as much right to express himself as any of us do and I do look forward to injoying his positive contributions to this forum as much as anybody elses!

[GeorgeT]

Originally Posted by skyguy79

I cannot and will not say you haven't experienced what you have stated nor will I criticize what you have stated in this post. I agree with parts of your post and I disagree with others, but I emphasize that this is normal in any social forums.

However, what I will state is that I have been on TOTV only one or two months less than you have and have posted considerably more, but have not experienced what you state you have. I've been counseled by the admins more than once and suspended without reason or explaination, but looked at it as positive feedback!

I've made several friends and had many positive feedbacks on my posts, both open and private with nearly no negative reactions. I've only met a few TOTV members in person and no more than once for any of them. I've been made happy at times and aggrivated at others, but have rarely complained even when it was warranted to do so.

With that being said, I can't help but wonder why I have not even come close to experiencing what you have expressed when I have been at least four times more active than you. There must be a reason for that, but I do ask others out there NOT to offer me any negative answers in response to that! If you must respond, then please do it through a PM. It's NOT my intention to attack Mr. Wilson or influence others to so. He has as much right to express himself as any of us do and I do look forward to injoying his positive contributions to this forum as much as anybody elses!

Something I have learned is when a person says "I cannot and will not say....." They have already said it. Just my opinion.

Not really sure what your point is either.