[senior citizen]

Just wondering if anyone out there got "cold feet" or advice from relatives prior to listing their northern homes for sale????

Below letter from my sister in law in Arizona who first moved from her very large modern Princeton N.J. home to a 55+retirement community in Ocean County N.J. , sold it and then relocated to Arizona.........her thoughts below on our upcoming relocation.

It doesn't help that resale prices remain very very low up here.
She was a lifelong educator and also moonlighted as a realtor, so understood it when I told her what our Venice, Fl. realtor told me upon us selling our newly remodeled beachfront condo back in 1994....."Remember, you do not have to buy in Florida in order to winter in Florida".

I remember those words well, especially lately seeing the mass exodus back north (of those who retained their primary homes, only wintering in Florida). My sister in law's letter below......

"Hi again,

Sorry for the slow response, as I have been very busy. I will be succinct in my thoughts and answers.

You are right to question your motive for moving. You moved TWICE to Florida with its tremendous heat and humidity. And you returned to Vermont. Why don't you keep your Vermont home and rent during the cold weather in Florida?

Arizona can be in the 70's and 80's during the winter, which is lovely, BUT it might be too hot for the both of you. During the summer, you could not tolerate three digits for five months.........100 to 119 degrees.

Today was 106 degrees. Three digits is dangerous and overwhelming. It takes my breath away and I feel as though I will faint.

And the nights are hot. Exercising can only be done in an air conditioned fitness center. The cars heat up to 160 - 170 degrees. 2 bottles of water must always be with you.

If you move to Florida, you will miss your daughter, son in law and the grandchildren. And at this stage of your life, you both need to be near family in case of an emergency. Today, retirees stay in place, near their families.

I do not regret moving from NJ, but many people in Arizona are not very sophisticated in their thinking. Seeking out thinking individuals and active people are important to me.

Last night, I saw a PBS report on the loss of 2,000 square miles of coast line and marshes in Louisiana. I would never consider living on a barrier island ...........hurricanes, climate change, etc.

Stay safe in Vermont...inland and high. Keep the islands for vacations.

Even my two sons have reversed their desire to own beachfront property in NJ !!

Moving is so much work and expensive. Stay in Vermont and appreciate the beauty that surrounds you.

Marana is not inexpensive and Tucson is not the place to live. Tucson is a city and it is UGLY. Marana has five mountain ranges surrounding our suburb. It is green year round and the flowering plants are prolific, blooming three times a year.

Water and sewer are expensive. Electricity, cooling, and food are expensive.

Pack two or three suitcases and fly south to Florida or Arizona or California during the winter.

You purged and simplified your home......now enjoy your lovely three season screened porch and trex deck in the summer and fall.

Stay close to the adult children and the grandchildren. Vermont is a beautiful state."
　

[NotGolfer]

The only cold feet we may have had were from the frigid temps of the Midwest along with it's snow and ice!!

Not sure what your point is...are you asking if folks had 2nd thoughts?? We certainly did not. It's been 5 years and we've never, ever looked back nor would we want to re-locate back to our former home..."up there"!!

[ilovetv]

What does your husband want to do?

It's extremely sad to converse with men various times who are here renting 2 months and say "I'd buy a place here in a heartbeat, but my wife will not leave the grandchildren".

Spouse taking the back seat......not good.

[2BNTV]

[QUOTE=NotGolfer;884639]The only cold feet we may have had were from the frigid temps of the Midwest along with it's snow and ice!!



There's also moving to FL, and the difference in being in TV. Two very different concepts. IMHO

I think some people make too much of the summer heat. You can always do something stenuous in the early AM, or later in the evening. What's the difference if you have to stay in A/C for a while, and staying in one's home in the winter, for several months. I never heard someone up north say in the winter, "I will stay outside all day, so I can freeze my butt off".

If you can carry two homes, then you might to consider being in TV for the winter, and your home up north, for the summer. Another possibility, is to buy a much saller home in NH, and A smaller type home in TV, assuming you can still carry two homes.

I think once you are here, you will not want to go back!!!

Just my two cents worth and with inflation, it's worth nothing today.

[CFrance]

We have all on TOTV heard you flip-flop over moving to TV for a few years now. You clearly are torn. I believe you have even thought of other places to settle in FL over on the east coast. I think the people who made the best suggestions are the ones who advised you to keep your house in VT and rent one in TV or one of the other places you've talked about, including your sister. You need to see if you will be unhappy away from the grandchildren. Frankly, if I had grandchildren I would be opting for a 60/40 split.

You certainly sound like you have enough hesitation to make a permanent move that you should give it a test drive for a couple of seasons.

For me the harsh winters, dirty snow tracked into the house, slush falling off the cars into the garage, my neck being constantly cold, having to wear crampons on my shoes to walk the dog without falling on my back, cleaning the dog's paws off before coming back inside, having to preheat the car, totally get covered from head to tow every time it was time to take the pup out... forget it. The four months of summer were not worth it for the 7 months of winter. I'd rather stay inside for two bad months of summer than endure 7 months of winter. Life is harder in the snow. Everything is a winter coat and a total hassle. I couldn't stand it.

Having said that, all my MI native friends take it in stride. They run to FL for a month or six weeks, come back to the grandkids, and endure. Better them than me.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

Just wondering if anyone out there got "cold feet" or advice from relatives prior to listing their northern homes for sale????

Stay safe in Vermont...inland and high. Keep the islands for vacations.

Stay close to the adult children and the grandchildren. Vermont is a beautiful state." 　

Your relatives know you well, and I would certainly listen carefully to what they have to say.

I think a decision to move full time to a warmer clime is totally dependent on family needs ...
how much time you want to spend with your children and grandchildren.
Some people need to see their kids and grandkids daily or weekly.
In that case, best not to move.
Others are satisfied with an occasional visit, and perhaps a month in the summer up north.
If that's the situation, then moving is probably a good option.

[wannab]

Have any of you people thinking that you can't bear to be away from the kids and grandkids for more than a week ever heard of Skype? I'm sure there are other forms of communication beside that as well. And I have found that the summers in FL are no more hotter or humid than those we left back in PA. Just sayin'

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by wannab

Have any of you people thinking that you can't bear to be away from the kids and grandkids for more than a week ever heard of Skype? I'm sure there are other forms of communication beside that as well. And I have found that the summers in FL are no more hotter or humid than those we left back in PA. Just sayin'

Skype is not quite the same as holding a living, breathing baby for some folks.

[gomoho]

Originally Posted by wannab

Have any of you people thinking that you can't bear to be away from the kids and grandkids for more than a week ever heard of Skype? I'm sure there are other forms of communication beside that as well. And I have found that the summers in FL are no more hotter or humid than those we left back in PA. Just sayin'

The difference is the heat in PA lasts for a few weeks - the heat in Florida lasts for about 4-5 months. Big difference.

[senior citizen]

All of your input was appreciated, however, actually we do not see our grandchildren that often now that they are in school plus active in extracurricular activities, etc........super busy young children, as well as the parents. We are not the type who need to see them weekly or even monthly.

I believe what my sister in law was trying to convey to me.....that as we all age, close proximity to our adult children might make it easier for all of us. No one wants to be dependent on their "kids".......certainly not us........but life happens. We've seen it.

No one wants to see them put their busy lives on hold to have to fly down for potential health emergencies as the parents age in place.

The Vermont family includes our daughter/her family. Everyone knows it is most likely the daughter who takes on the care or planning for the elderly parents, as I myself did for mine.

Our son and his young family live in Colorado; with his super busy business schedule.....flying coast to coast weekly, we would never expect them to run to our assistance (if needed) especially with a third baby on the way..............and two toddlers already in the home.

Yes, SKYPE IS GREAT......they all bring joy to us....and they know us via Skype.

I believe what my sister in law was trying to convey (as she has always loved Vermont since her twenties; now in her 70's) was to "winter in Florida or Arizona" which could be as a SNOW BIRD vs. full time residence.

She was telling me how HOT Arizona is. Her first year there she felt as if she would have a heart attack on the golf course. She is being honest about feeling feint at 106 degrees and summer hasn't even begun.....

So many of the frequent posters on TOTV are not now still in The Villages.........they have returned north or west to their other homes.

No doubt about it, the winter weather up north has been horrific this past winter.......no secret about that. Florida is very welcoming during the long cold winter months.

Last week we were sitting out on our deck to soak up some natural Vitamin D3 from the sunlight and hubby was "hot" at 60 degrees in the sunshine.........he had to cut short his sunbathing to 10 minutes, if that..........then the rains returned.

I am concerned that his Discoid Lupus would flare up again as it did during our first move to Florida......he has never liked the heat.......and especially NOT the humidity....while I have always rationalized it as a "reverse of seasons" meaning in the heat of summer, one would do things earlier in the mornings and stay in airconditioning in the noontime heat, etc. as we all stay in our heated homes all winter.........no one is out and about in a blizzard, that's for sure.

The humidity would not feel so great for my arthritis....I know that on humid days up here......but then again, in Vermont and the great northeast, if you don't like the weather , just wait a minute......and it will change. My sisterinlaw moved to Arizona to relieve her own arthritis pain.

We did LOVE the heated pool in our Villages, FL. rental home that one month of November....when the temperatures were PERFECT. We also loved driving back from the Albany N.Y. airport in December and seeing the beautiful Vermont mountains as we approached our town.

My mom who moved up here at age 61 had 30 years of retirement in her beloved "God's Country" as she would call it when she returned from her senior citizen "bus trips" all over the U.S. She is buried in our Green Mountains at age 91. Never thought she would get out of N.J. but she did.....moved up to be near us.

Vermont is a special world and one of simple beauty and nature as anyone who has taken to the roads can attest to.

We have friends who winter both in Arizona and in Florida.........but keep their primary residences up north...........

It was just an honest question........to see if anyone else got cold feet* prior to listing their home (in a very poor real estate market up here)...... *cold feet meaning having second thoughts.

I would definitely have radiant heat installed under floors if we were to build a primary residence in Vermont...along with gas fireplaces and a gas furnace as opposed to an oil burning furnace (so that we could leave the home in the winter months without worrying that the pipes would freeze up due to water circulating in the pipes and hotwater baseboards).........gas is cleaner and would have less problems with us leaving the home.

Another issue is "giving the house" away when no one is evicting us (said in jest) vs. waiting for an upturn in the real estate prices. It's a beautiful home. All of our neighbors are great. We have a history in this town since the early 1970's.


As far as my researching other areas, I can only think of the old saying something akin to "act in haste, repent at leisure".........been there, done that. Guilty.

When you are younger, moving is no big deal.........at our age now, just the thought can be exhausting. But she is correct, we have purged the home and got it ready for sale. It's a beautiful house, just too big for us at this stage in our lives............

Either way, a flat home is in our future, perhaps newly built, perhaps gently used.

I continue to marvel at the gross misinterpretations of simple questions.

No one on totv has ever flipped or flopped on an issue in their own minds?

My sister in law was correct about our move to Florida in 1973/returning 1974........stayed put in our next family home till 1994 (when our "kids" graduated college and married/relocated to Boston........while the other relocated outwest to go to grad school, etc.).

So, twenty years after that first "return from Florida" which actually happens quite often to people in Vermont and other northern states who miss the four seasons.........we did it again, this time without children but with my elderly widowed mother in tow.........we soon realized that her confusion was much more (early Alzheimers) so returned again to our support system and hers......as well as to our old neighborhood in Vermont.........which was the right decision......we were about to turn 50 and had our "new baby" to be concerned about.

So, now twenty years later..........having "been there, done that" twice before....with twenty year intervals inbetween, Vermont drawing us back like a magnet both times.........I don't think my question is all that unusual. Her letter to me prompted me to ask the question.

It is very expensive to move.........only to move back again.......my sister inlaw had some great points. I welcomed her suggestions.....actually, we were the first to leave New Jersey back in 1970....for Vermont.

We had visitors every single weekend as they all loved it up here, even when I was expecting our second child.........the sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, parents, inlaws.......friends.........they all came to Vermont willingly..................I cooked them all three meals a day.

We never had corporate moves whereby it was paid for by someone else.......so again, just don't want to make a mistake......as the words of our Venice realtor echo in my brain..........

"You don't have to buy in Florida in order to winter in Florida".......as we were selling our beautiful Venice beachfront condo.........to return "home" the second time.....(red tide bacteria caused breathing difficulties, etc. )....

I know there are others who feel the same way and wonder about their future moves........but they don't post out of fear of being diminished on this forum.

I myself can always see and understand all sides of any issue. Nothing is set in stone and no place on earth is perfect. Also, moving at age 25 from N.J. to VT. is super easy; moving at age 29 to Florida and back again to Vermont so that our 6 year old could begin 1st grade is also easy.

Even moving to Florida at age 49 with an elder in tow is not too bad, compared with our age at the moment which is pushing 70........and if my husband is correct that it will take us at least three years to sell this home (to get the price we want).....then even older.

We are not the 55+ age bracket.....or their 40 year old spouses....but older, with a lot of experience in moving and returning back, albeit with twenty years in between each move. Probably a lot cheaper just to vacation in the sunny climates..................I've gotten many p.m.'s from Villagers who left after a short spell in Florida to relocate to other areas............so it happens there too.

I also understand my sister in laws's concerns about climate change. We all have read up on that.

My mom would say that in a cold climate one could always put on extra clothing to get warm.......but hard to be comfortable in the heat...........so true, especially if one's electricity is down due to a storm.....

The people from Florida who bought our last home in 1994 after Hurricane Andrew destroyed their Miami "area" home; (can't remember her town)........said that all she wanted was to "get a breath of fresh air".......she was traumatized by that hurricane and having to stand in long lines for WATER to drink......no electricity for God knows how long......in the baking sun.

Ditto for friends we knew in Sebastian Florida (last hurricane)....after a month with no electricity, had to come up here to stay with her son. Finally sold and moved back north.

A climate controlled Florida is wonderful......but down the road, can anyone imagine surviving without airconditioning? Say due to a tornado or storm? In the north, one can have alternate heat sources......and most do, or else escape to Florida as the much dreaded snow birds.

[DianeM]

Stay in Vermont. Selling my northern home was the worst mistake I ever made. I too lived in Arizona for a short time and 113 degrees is desperately awful. Florida is a bit more comfortable but not by much. Hot up north is much shorter than hot down here. You have to decide when to hibernate. Either up north in winter or down south in summer.

[MikeV]

Nope

[quirky3]

Do you or or husband have objections to renting at TV during the winter? If not, I think that is definitely the way to go for at least a year or two, and that way you will be very familiar with both of your locations.

Making friends in TV and seeing all the mutual support is a wonderful experience.

[pooh]

Cold feet? No. Nervous? You bet. I had lived in CA for many, many years....and while not quite as hot as AZ in the summer, we endured hot temps, Santa Ana winds, low humidity (sometimes toooooo low... ). The Villages isn't necessarily stereotypical Florida. The summers here can be very warm, but the sun shines and air conditioning everywhere allows one to stay active. You bring up a valid point about air conditioning loss during the warm season.....if that happens, leaving till things are back in working order is an option. Some of the worse summers I've dealt with were in New England when the humidity was high.

Your husband's lupus could be impacted by the sunshine.....have you both talked with his dr about the move back to more sun and more intense sun? What are his/her feelings and recommendations?

I moved here for The Villages, not necessarily because I loved Florida, but the more I'm here, the more I learn about my new state, the more interesting It becomes. I miss my mountains, too, but there is a lot to be said for more flat terrain.... Life is a series of changes....some we like, some we don't, some we can control, some we can't. Are you moving here for the life one can live here in The Villages or are you looking for someplace away from winters? AZ and FL are not the only places to move to if that's what you seek....AZ isn't hot all over the state, NV and CA have areas without "winter," too.

Being near family as one ages is something most have to at least think about, but if it is something that must happen, then it just will. Until then, live where you will be happy, where you can be active, alive, at peace. When and if you have to move, it will be an easier one....all the "stuff" you have won't be as important...you'll want a smaller place with less responsibility.

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

All of your input was appreciated, however, actually we do not see our grandchildren that often now that they are in school plus active in extracurricular activities, etc........super busy young children, as well as the parents. We are not the type who need to see them weekly or even monthly.

I believe what my sister in law was trying to convey to me.....that as we all age, close proximity to our adult children might make it easier for all of us. No one wants to be dependent on their "kids".......certainly not us........but life happens. We've seen it.

No one wants to see them put their busy lives on hold to have to fly down for potential health emergencies as the parents age in place.

The Vermont family includes our daughter/her family. Everyone knows it is most likely the daughter who takes on the care or planning for the elderly parents, as I myself did for mine.

Our son and his young family live in Colorado; with his super busy business schedule.....flying coast to coast weekly, we would never expect them to run to our assistance (if needed) especially with a third baby on the way..............and two toddlers already in the home.

Yes, SKYPE IS GREAT......they all bring joy to us....and they know us via Skype.

I believe what my sister in law was trying to convey (as she has always loved Vermont since her twenties; now in her 70's) was to "winter in Florida or Arizona" which could be as a SNOW BIRD vs. full time residence.

She was telling me how HOT Arizona is. Her first year there she felt as if she would have a heart attack on the golf course. She is being honest about feeling feint at 106 degrees and summer hasn't even begun.....

So many of the frequent posters on TOTV are not now still in The Villages.........they have returned north or west to their other homes.

No doubt about it, the winter weather up north has been horrific this past winter.......no secret about that. Florida is very welcoming during the long cold winter months.

Last week we were sitting out on our deck to soak up some natural Vitamin D3 from the sunlight and hubby was "hot" at 60 degrees in the sunshine.........he had to cut short his sunbathing to 10 minutes, if that..........then the rains returned.

I am concerned that his Discoid Lupus would flare up again as it did during our first move to Florida......he has never liked the heat.......and especially NOT the humidity....while I have always rationalized it as a "reverse of seasons" meaning in the heat of summer, one would do things earlier in the mornings and stay in airconditioning in the noontime heat, etc. as we all stay in our heated homes all winter.........no one is out and about in a blizzard, that's for sure.

The humidity would not feel so great for my arthritis....I know that on humid days up here......but then again, in Vermont and the great northeast, if you don't like the weather , just wait a minute......and it will change. My sisterinlaw moved to Arizona to relieve her own arthritis pain.

We did LOVE the heated pool in our Villages, FL. rental home that one month of November....when the temperatures were PERFECT. We also loved driving back from the Albany N.Y. airport in December and seeing the beautiful Vermont mountains as we approached our town.

My mom who moved up here at age 61 had 30 years of retirement in her beloved "God's Country" as she would call it when she returned from her senior citizen "bus trips" all over the U.S. She is buried in our Green Mountains at age 91. Never thought she would get out of N.J. but she did.....moved up to be near us.

Vermont is a special world and one of simple beauty and nature as anyone who has taken to the roads can attest to.

We have friends who winter both in Arizona and in Florida.........but keep their primary residences up north...........

It was just an honest question........to see if anyone else got cold feet* prior to listing their home (in a very poor real estate market up here)...... *cold feet meaning having second thoughts.

I would definitely have radiant heat installed under floors if we were to build a primary residence in Vermont...along with gas fireplaces and a gas furnace as opposed to an oil burning furnace (so that we could leave the home in the winter months without worrying that the pipes would freeze up due to water circulating in the pipes and hotwater baseboards).........gas is cleaner and would have less problems with us leaving the home.

Another issue is "giving the house" away when no one is evicting us (said in jest) vs. waiting for an upturn in the real estate prices. It's a beautiful home. All of our neighbors are great. We have a history in this town since the early 1970's.


As far as my researching other areas, I can only think of the old saying something akin to "act in haste, repent at leisure".........been there, done that. Guilty.

When you are younger, moving is no big deal.........at our age now, just the thought can be exhausting. But she is correct, we have purged the home and got it ready for sale. It's a beautiful house, just too big for us at this stage in our lives............

Either way, a flat home is in our future, perhaps newly built, perhaps gently used.

I continue to marvel at the gross misinterpretations of simple questions.

No one on totv has ever flipped or flopped on an issue in their own minds?

My sister in law was correct about our move to Florida in 1973/returning 1974........stayed put in our next family home till 1994 (when our "kids" graduated college and married/relocated to Boston........while the other relocated outwest to go to grad school, etc.).

So, twenty years after that first "return from Florida" which actually happens quite often to people in Vermont and other northern states who miss the four seasons.........we did it again, this time without children but with my elderly widowed mother in tow.........we soon realized that her confusion was much more (early Alzheimers) so returned again to our support system and hers......as well as to our old neighborhood in Vermont.........which was the right decision......we were about to turn 50 and had our "new baby" to be concerned about.

So, now twenty years later..........having "been there, done that" twice before....with twenty year intervals inbetween, Vermont drawing us back like a magnet both times.........I don't think my question is all that unusual. Her letter to me prompted me to ask the question.

It is very expensive to move.........only to move back again.......my sister inlaw had some great points. I welcomed her suggestions.....actually, we were the first to leave New Jersey back in 1970....for Vermont.

We had visitors every single weekend as they all loved it up here, even when I was expecting our second child.........the sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, parents, inlaws.......friends.........they all came to Vermont willingly..................I cooked them all three meals a day.

We never had corporate moves whereby it was paid for by someone else.......so again, just don't want to make a mistake......as the words of our Venice realtor echo in my brain..........

"You don't have to buy in Florida in order to winter in Florida".......as we were selling our beautiful Venice beachfront condo.........to return "home" the second time.....(red tide bacteria caused breathing difficulties, etc. )....

I know there are others who feel the same way and wonder about their future moves........but they don't post out of fear of being diminished on this forum.

I myself can always see and understand all sides of any issue. Nothing is set in stone and no place on earth is perfect. Also, moving at age 25 from N.J. to VT. is super easy; moving at age 29 to Florida and back again to Vermont so that our 6 year old could begin 1st grade is also easy.

Even moving to Florida at age 49 with an elder in tow is not too bad, compared with our age at the moment which is pushing 70........and if my husband is correct that it will take us at least three years to sell this home (to get the price we want).....then even older.

We are not the 55+ age bracket.....or their 40 year old spouses....but older, with a lot of experience in moving and returning back, albeit with twenty years in between each move. Probably a lot cheaper just to vacation in the sunny climates..................I've gotten many p.m.'s from Villagers who left after a short spell in Florida to relocate to other areas............so it happens there too.

I also understand my sister in laws's concerns about climate change. We all have read up on that.

My mom would say that in a cold climate one could always put on extra clothing to get warm.......but hard to be comfortable in the heat...........so true, especially if one's electricity is down due to a storm.....

The people from Florida who bought our last home in 1994 after Hurricane Andrew destroyed their Miami "area" home; (can't remember her town)........said that all she wanted was to "get a breath of fresh air".......she was traumatized by that hurricane and having to stand in long lines for WATER to drink......no electricity for God knows how long......in the baking sun.

Ditto for friends we knew in Sebastian Florida (last hurricane)....after a month with no electricity, had to come up here to stay with her son. Finally sold and moved back north.

A climate controlled Florida is wonderful......but down the road, can anyone imagine surviving without airconditioning? Say due to a tornado or storm? In the north, one can have alternate heat sources......and most do, or else escape to Florida as the much dreaded snow birds.

I think in your posts you have answered your own question many times in the last year or so--too many predators, criminals, hurricanes, tornadoes, no a/c, no electricity, no water, too much heat, too old, people bailing out and moving back north, moving is too hard at a certain age, TV people PMing you about not liking it here and leaving, cheaper to vacation down south than to buy, the potential financial loss if moving is a mistake...

You may feel good about being able to see all sides of an issue, but I think it's doing you more harm than good. I think you are lost within the issue. Many people have suggested you stay where you are and rent for the winter, at least at first to see how you like it. It's such an obvious solution. I guess I don't understand why you keep asking the question when there is a solid idea right in front of you. I wish you luck in reaching a decision. And speed.