[thehags]

This is our first season down here and we are enjoying so many of the activities. But anytime we go to a "Club" event we find that everyone already has their groups. More times than not - when I approach a group to see if the chairs next to them are available...they are saving them. If we sit at a new table...unless there are no other chairs around...we end up sitting there alone. We recently went to our neighborhood social meeting where we sat alone at a table and when some "neighbors" came in they took the rest of the chairs at our table and crowded around a table near by. Is this something anyone else has run into?

[redwitch]

I've found that it helps if you call someone from the club first. Then they usually make sure you're included. I think part of it may be that it is the snowbird season.

I'm truly sorry you have been experiencing such rude behavior. It might be worth mentioning this problem when you call to get information about the club. That way, extra effort might be made to be sure you're included.

[jadebox]

The other night I told someone that it was rude to ask to take chairs from a couple or person sitting alone. The correct thing to do is invite the persons/person to join them and bring along their extra chairs. I hope someone takes my advice and does this. Another thing is at one club we had a members/new guests table. If you were alone you sat there. Someone from the club always sat there too. It was usually me because I hate walking into a room and being told the chair is taken. I met many nice people that way.

[Boomer]

Originally Posted by thehags

This is our first season down here and we are enjoying so many of the activities. But anytime we go to a "Club" event we find that everyone already has their groups. More times than not - when I approach a group to see if the chairs next to them are available...they are saving them. If we sit at a new table...unless there are no other chairs around...we end up sitting there alone. We recently went to our neighborhood social meeting where we sat alone at a table and when some "neighbors" came in they took the rest of the chairs at our table and crowded around a table near by. Is this something anyone else has run into?

Oh my. What in the heck is the matter with these people?

Are you sure that you did not accidentally attend the wrong meeting?

Maybe it was the "We're the World's Tackiest People" club. Or it could have been the "We Are What We Were in High School and Never Could Get Past It" club. I know. It had to have been the "Excu-u-u-se Us, We Were Raised By Wolves" club.

What asinine behavior. (I so wish that word had a double s.)

I know that there are lots of nice people with manners in TV. We met some of them when we visited. It will get better.

Boomer

[thehags]

Thanks for your kind replies. We have met so many great people here in the villages and I think I just needed to express how upsetting those isolated incidents were. Thanks to this forum I had the opportunity to do that!

[Villages Kahuna]

With well over 1,000 clubs, I'm sure there are some that are less welcoming than others. Most I've been involved with are quite open and welcoming. Only a couple left me feeling less than totally included. One was a "state" club which seemed to be dominated by folks from only certain towns. It must have been noticed by others because within a few months of my first visit to the state club, a new club appealing to members from only a certain part of the state was formed. It immediately attracted well over 100 members and seems to embody all the warmth we were hoping for and expecting.

Don't be too upset. Just try another club and get on with the enjoyment.

[Boomer]

There has been quite a bit of discussion today in a couple of threads about manners - or should I say the lack thereof.

Anyway, I was reminded of this older thread so I went back and bumped it.

Who knows? Maybe some of the self absorbed in TV may read some of this stuff, recognize themselves, and change their ways. -- Ya think????!!!!

Actually, I know that is a rhetorical question.

[kd-dp2000]

Yes, we experienced the same kind of "rudeness". No one welcomed us, no one spoke, and no one asked us to join their "group". Needless to say, we did not go back to that club meeting. BTW....it is one of the largest groups in TV. We heard it is such a fun club, and I suppose it is, if you are in a group. We stood in a corner by ourselves, drank our beer, and left before the meeting began. Perhaps we will try it again in the future, IF we have a group that we can take with us, because we would like to experience the same fun that the group advertises.

[graciegirl]

Boomer! What a warm witty reply! This is very enlightening to me as we are just now in the informational gathering stage. I will have to think about what I would do. Wear a name tag, not your name but "I AM NEW".

[Boomer]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Boomer! What a warm witty reply! This is very enlightening to me as we are just now in the informational gathering stage. I will have to think about what I would do. Wear a name tag, not your name but "I AM NEW".

Never fear, graciegirl. I am a fellow Buckeye. (saw that in the other thread) -also still doing my homework but hoping to get there before the end of '08 for a second home. We are going to look for a patio villa and hold onto the house here, too.

Anyway, we brand new Buckeyes can just get our own table and sing "Hang On Sloopy" really really loud until everyone wants to join us. (Actually I know nothing about sports and we are MU grads. But I do know all the words to that song so I can fake 'em out if they are not nice at first.)

I prefer to think that a pretentious Midwesterner is an oxymoron.

[Floridagal]

I found the same thing. People here are very clicky. My husband and I have gone to a few clubs which we were interested in and if we did not know someone we usually sat alone. If we try to go to a table with a few couples we are told the other seats are taken. I haven't found yet where we were welcome to join a group already seated.

[Russ_Boston]

The responses on this thread have me VERY worried. Not about Russ_Boston but more for Linda_Boston. She intends to join numerous groups (swimmers, quilts, painting, bikers etc.). I certainly hope these incidents are sporadic. I have no concerns because i will golf with anyone and i usually have no problem making friends with fellow golfers (male or female) but Linda is a different animal - slow to warm let's say.

The last thing we need is for her to feel left out of activities. Perhaps the best way is to make friends on a team (softball, swimming etc.) and then find other clubs that these new friends belong to? Please advise me.

Thanks - Russ

[redwitch]

Russ, I've the cliques are more for the clubs that sit around and talk rather than do. It seems that if there are activities involved, it is much easier to join in. But if it is one that meets, has lunch and then does something, it becomes much more difficult.

The biking clubs here are pretty fast -- even the "lazy" one goes at a decent clip (not fast, fast, but decent). No problem with joining them. My gut feeling is the same would be true of a swimming club.

The crafts clubs might be iffy. It might be worth checking out and if she's not greeted warmly, then wait to find someone who belongs and try again.

Once you're here, she may discover new interests she didn't know she had. Those are best found through the friends she makes.

[pqrstar]

Just don't take these incidents too personal. They will happen, but hang in there. Just remember its nothing against you.

It's human nature to want to sit with familiar faces. Don't give up. Soon enough, you will have found your group of familiar faces too.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by pqrstar

Just don't take these incidents too personal. They will happen, but hang in there. Just remember its nothing against you. It's human nature to want to sit with familiar faces. Don't give up. Soon enough, you will have found your group of familiar faces too.

It will take you a few months to make your connections, but it will happen!! Before you know it, you'll be one of the residents, and hopefully, you'll be sure to welcome newbies.