[Uptown Girl]

Originally Posted by DianeM

Home is where you grew up and lived your life and made memories.

To me, 'Home' is what feels like home in your heart.
It was my desire to make The Villages my home. I embraced that and brought with me the select, fond memories of where I had lived in the past. My happy memories are alive and well and I appreciate having them to 'visit' in my mind whenever I want. They are part of who I am.

I still keep the dearest family and friends in my heart and communicate with them intimately when we each have the opportunity. I have not lost them, nor they me.
I have made new friends and have new activities, beautiful new surroundings and new things to explore, to add to my life's journey.

I was one who never expected to be able to have the luxury of this freedom. My nose was to the grindstone out of necessity. I made everything and everybody my first priority/responsibiilty and always put myself last in line.
I never thought I would be in a position to enjoy this lifestyle. After my obligations were complete, my biggest adjustment was giving myself
PERMISSION to choose what would bring ME nourishment and personal joy.

My joy is living here with the husband I adore. I am content and grateful every day to have had this choice to make. Is The Villages perfect? Would anyplace else be?

[Ohiogirl]

We are snowbirds but spend more of time in TV, as the tax advantage to being Florida residents is very compelling. Originally thought we we would be fulltime in TV as didn't think we could afford 2 places. Found out we could do both as Florida is very inexpensive, and we downsized up here. The Villages is pretty much what we thought it would be, but we came on vacations for 4 years or so before retiring and moving down.

I think some people don't give it enough time to get settled in and find their niches. It takes time to make good friends. Some people are just not good movers and need the familiar. I think those are the ones who move back, especially the ones whose families are close and concentrated in the home area they came from. If you think this might be you, my advice would be to look seriously into snowbirding, but at the same time give it an honest chance and delve in to what appealed to you here in the first place.

I've seen some short term snowbirds and snowflakes simply treat TV time as a vacation and not seeming to get involved with neighbors or activities, especially if they mostly visit at the same time as their friends from their hometown. To each his own, I guess, but what happens when some/all of their friends stop coming as their age and health problems mount?

We would have been ok being frogs, as we are both joiners, but glad we have the opportunity to come back north in the summer. We like all the cultural stuff and other opportunities in Columbus and surrounds, and also expect to do some northern traveling from time to time, although I think travel will lesson as we age.

I know several who have moved out. Reasons:
- don't golf and cheaper to have a big home with a bigger lot outside The Villages (this couple moved to Citrus Hills).
- single woman who has children in various locations, has mostly couple friends and was bored, but didn't seem to me to make an effort to get to know other singles (TV was her 2nd retirement move, not her last).
- life revolves around the grandchildren (who then turn 12 or 13 and move on quickly to their own lives).

I've also met widows, who originally moved to TV with their husbands, who were pressured to move back near their families and didn't, and are glad they stayed in TV. They just do more here than would if they'd moved back. Of course, some are happier back with families. Know thyself.

I just think back to my Mom's later years, and parents of others I know, and don't want to repeat the lifestyle of sitting around all winter glued to the TV and concerned about falling on ice or snow when they do venture out. Yes, there are things to do everywhere, but it is easier to do most of them in TV, and also to try new things. I think our kids are grateful that we have a life other than them, although I know this can change as we age.

In our condo here in Ohio, have met a neighbor who spent the first 14 years of their retirement as RV snowbirds (winters in Florida, summers traveling) and the last 4 or 5 (after the driving and travel got to be difficult) spending summers near family in a condo. Now she's alone - husband died last fall - and has truly wonderful retirement memories. No regrets. I think that some people, certainly not all, look back when they are in their 80s and wish they had had more adventure and now feel it is too late.

Think hard about all the scenarios that might happen, and have some backup plans, but live your life - at least that's my HO.

[CFrance]

We've lived a few different places since we've been married. We were always happy wherever we lived. However, whenever we were living in Place B, for instance, we referred to Place A as "home." Then when we would go "home" to visit Place A, we would refer to Place B as "home" while visiting. Huh?? I've often wondered about that. I'm sure there's some deep psychological defect in my thought processes. ;-0

[cquick]

Originally Posted by queasy27

What have you heard about why people leave? Dissatisfied or normal life changes?

My experience has been 50/50 -- one couple went to Summerfield for a larger lot with more privacy and autonomy, and one moved back to her home state because she missed her children.

I would probably leave to be near family, if they didn't live here! I only have cousins "up north". My mom lives here in TV. 'course I do have a grown up son in California......

[skip0358]

I have everything I need here, a very comfortable life, my wife and great friends. I have a few family up North, they can come visit here or we can hop on a plane for up there. If up North had been so great I wouldn't have moved here in the first place. JMO

[gocubsgo]

I miss my daughter and want to move back to see more of her. I also miss Chicago and all it has to offer. I would like to move to Missouri and buy a house in the country. Here, it's just too congested in the winter. I miss privacy and peace and quiet.

[My Daily Run]

I have been here 3 years and got home sick in April so I went back up north to visit and realized how depressed, unhealthy, bored, and unhappy my friends are. All they did was complain about the winters, the weather in general, the taxes, the deplorable neighborhood, foreclosures, their kids etc. etc. etc. My son and daughter in law were working and my grandson (who is 10) was in school and busy with his friends. I was supposed to stay 2 weeks and after a week I was ready to come back to The Villages...I had difficulty telling them about my lifestyle as I didn't want to brag...after 10 days I flew back home and wanted to kiss the ground when I arrived...I told my son I will only go back up north if I have dementia and I don't know I'm there.

[Uncle Tom]

Originally Posted by TommyT

Rudeness of the people.
People stare at you when you are friendly.... no response
Impatience of the people.
People here can't drive... dangerous.
People here feel entitled and will let you know they feel this way.
Tired of people grabbing all the chairs in the squares hours before the event.
Tired of people grabbing and roping chairs and tables together during events hours and hours before the event.
Tired of people grabbing all the tables hours and hours before special events.
People doing as they please with property and compliance does nothing to enforce the rules.
People coming up to you in the square demanding you get out of their chair.... when the chair was empty when you sat.
The list will continue.......
And the powers to be do NOTHING !!!!!
etc.
etc.
etc.
etc.
etc.
etc.
Yes, I have

Very well said the squares are turning out for free loaders bringing their coolers blocking parking spaces, grabbing plastic chairs. We dont go to Lake Sumter any more because of that reason. We use to go to all the resturants, but cant find a parking space.

[queasy27]

Home is where you grew up and lived your life and made memories.

That's an interesting distinction. Does it make a difference for you if family is still there or not? I spent my first 35 years in California, but I'd never call that home any more -- it's simply "where I grew up." I don't maintain more than one residence, so home for me is definitely TV.

Here, it's just too congested in the winter.

Also interesting to me! Truly, the traffic seems so minimal here that I don't even notice it. When I lived in Lady Lake on the historic side, there wasn't much difference in seasonal traffic because a lot of the stores and restaurants on 441/27 are heavily used by non-Villagers, anyway. When I moved to Summerhill, I definitely noticed that traffic and crowds are less now that it's summer, but I never thought they were bad in the first place.

Is traffic here really worse than Chicago?

(And I'm not minimizing the toll traffic can take on people; I fought it for years and got home from work in a cross mood every day.)

[senior citizen]

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[DianeM]

Originally Posted by queasy27

That's an interesting distinction. Does it make a difference for you if family is still there or not? I spent my first 35 years in California, but I'd never call that home any more -- it's simply "where I grew up." I don't maintain more than one residence, so home for me is definitely TV.

I don't think that family being there or not makes a difference. Family can be way overrated. It's a feeling or a memory that is conjured up whenever you think of "home".

[senior citizen]

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[senior citizen]

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[eweissenbach]

Originally Posted by DianeM

I don't think that family being there or not makes a difference. Family can be way overrated. It's a feeling or a memory that is conjured up whenever you think of "home".

I suppose family CAN be way overrated, but many of us think family is underrated, if anything. I am happier around my kids, grandkids, and extended family than anyone else in the world. That is not to say that getting away to TV is not enjoyable - it certainly is, and we come with our good friends of 45+years, so bring some of that with us. I moved around frequently in my career, and was happy everywhere we lived, but always cherished any time that I spent with my family. Happiness is not a geographical location.

[DianeM]

Not all families are created equal. Some are just comprised of people you share DNA with. Some are wonderful. It's the luck of the draw.