[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Abby10

Excellent post, and IMHO, the highlighted section is the real key. Helping others has the ability to not only alleviate depression, but can often give one purpose in life.

My husband and I recently had the discussion about what we think our retirement life in TV will be like. We've already met many wonderful people and know we will not lack for friends or things to do, but we are realistic enough to know those 2 things alone will not completely fulfill us. We plan to look for opportunities to be of help to others,

whether inside TV or out, in order to complete the circle so to speak.

Hoping you find joy in your retirement, Tomcat. It appears as if you are seeking direction in all the right places.

Thank you. I might have left my job, but do not feel like I should be retired yet. Maybe I will enjoy my retirement when I am about 67. I just feel like at my age of 59, too young to retire and not to do anything anymore. I do not know if I will ever be able to gain able employment anymore like I had, but right now have a little part time job.

[Abby10]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

Thank you. I might have left my job, but do not feel like I should be retired yet. Maybe I will enjoy my retirement when I am about 67. I just feel like at my age of 59, too young to retire and not to do anything anymore. I do not know if I will ever be able to gain able employment anymore like I had, but right now have a little part time job.

I know what you mean. My husband retired early and I'm working on it. I'm fortunate in that I can gradually ease out of my position and pretty much do it on my own time frame. Since we are still up north, it seems too young to be retired because activities like you see in TV are not abundant. And neither are people to do things with since most of our friends still work full-time. But if we were in TV it would be different. You have people as young as 40 down there who are retired. And even those older than us, you would never know it. I went to an exercise class and was crawling out of it half-way through while the others, much older than I, kept right on going. I think once you get to TV, in short order, you'll wonder what took you so long to get there.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Abby10

I know what you mean. My husband retired early and I'm working on it. I'm fortunate in that I can gradually ease out of my position and pretty much do it on my own time frame. Since we are still up north, it seems too young to be retired because activities like you see in TV are not abundant. And neither are people to do things with since most of our friends still work full-time. But if we were in TV it would be different. You have people as young as 40 down there who are retired. And even those older than us, you would never know it. I went to an exercise class and was crawling out of it half-way through while the others, much older than I, kept right on going. I think once you get to TV, in short order, you'll wonder what took you so long to get there.

You do not say how old you are, but found that amusing what you said about the exercise class. I can believe that.

[Allegiance]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

You do not say how old you are, but found that amusing what you said about the exercise class. I can believe that.

Drum roll

[TOMCAT]

Tomorrow I will call my old office up to see how they are doing. Do you think there is anything wrong with that?

[Nucky]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

Thank you. I might have left my job, but do not feel like I should be retired yet. Maybe I will enjoy my retirement when I am about 67. I just feel like at my age of 59, too young to retire and not to do anything anymore. I do not know if I will ever be able to gain able employment anymore like I had, but right now have a little part time job.

We both have had many of the thoughts and feelings that you have expressed so don't feel like you're alone. You remind me a little of myself, if you made it back in time to stay at the job chances are there would be some feeling that you wish you were retired instead. What's done is done. I stressed many of the details about the road to getting here but have stressed very little about day to day life in The Villages other than a little storm several months ago. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train. This place is what you make of it. Period.

I also am 59 and retirement came on me as a surprise. I also loved to work and would not have chosen retirement but sometimes the choice is made for you. I have decided to embrace it and do everything I can to be positive and make this new life that most people can't even imagine could be so good work. I haven't expressed it in a while but we may be the most grateful people living here. If I'm not showing it all the time it's probably because of the negativity still beaming down from the northeast on occasion.

I'm suggesting that some counseling may be in order. A member of TOTV'S suggested it to me, I kicked it around for a couple of days and went for three sessions and bingo it turned my outlook around. We didn't have the blessing of our oldest son but the other two sons were happy for us. I didn't care one bit that he was upset, I cared that it upset my wife. Me in counseling, an impossible thought if you knew me but it worked, I can't believe it.

Give yourself a chance, I'll bet your life will be fantastic beyond your wildest dreams, you just don't have the vision yet. Take Care. Happy you reached out here it can be helpful.

[simpkinp]

I think we all go through a certain anxiety when we leave one phase of life for another. It all works out in the end. For me, I was very happy, but I lived only two hours from here so it was not that different. I brought my home and spent a year commuting weekly to work while I furnished and refit it and made friends. Good luck to you.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Nucky

We both have had many of the thoughts and feelings that you have expressed so don't feel like you're alone. You remind me a little of myself, if you made it back in time to stay at the job chances are there would be some feeling that you wish you were retired instead. What's done is done. I stressed many of the details about the road to getting here but have stressed very little about day to day life in The Villages other than a little storm several months ago. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train. This place is what you make of it. Period.

I also am 59 and retirement came on me as a surprise. I also loved to work and would not have chosen retirement but sometimes the choice is made for you. I have decided to embrace it and do everything I can to be positive and make this new life that most people can't even imagine could be so good work. I haven't expressed it in a while but we may be the most grateful people living here. If I'm not showing it all the time it's probably because of the negativity still beaming down from the northeast on occasion.

I'm suggesting that some counseling may be in order. A member of TOTV'S suggested it to me, I kicked it around for a couple of days and went for three sessions and bingo it turned my outlook around. We didn't have the blessing of our oldest son but the other two sons were happy for us. I didn't care one bit that he was upset, I cared that it upset my wife. Me in counseling, an impossible thought if you knew me but it worked, I can't believe it.

Give yourself a chance, I'll bet your life will be fantastic beyond your wildest dreams, you just don't have the visions yet. Take Care. Happy you reached out here it can be helpful.

Yes if you must know I have turned to counseling also. I just started to see a psychologist, maybe to help me through all this. He did mention to me it will get worse before it gets better. Maybe it is him doing this to me. I never dream I would. I have spoken to you at different occasions and you always made me feel good.

[Nucky]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

Tomorrow I will call my old office up to see how they are doing. Do you think there is anything wrong with that?

In my opinion calling them during work hours is just going to keep you stuck in Neutral or Reverse. It's time to move Forward. I wouldn't do it. Done is Done.

I just saw your post about counseling. I found out it's the in thing to do. It carries no stigma anymore, I never knew it. Where I'm from you don't tell your problems to anybody you just tough it out. I disagree, I don't want to hurt one minute more than absolutely necessary. Wish I knew this a long time ago I could have saved a lot of pain.

You're going to be GOLD in as short a period of time as you say you are ok a counselor will help. Tell them everything on your mind. We are rooting for you.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Nucky

In my opinion calling them during work hours is just going to keep you stuck in Neutral or Reverse. It's time to move Forward. I wouldn't do it. Done is Done.

I just saw your post about counseling. I found out it's the in thing to do. It carries no stigma anymore, I never knew it. Where I'm from you don't tell your problems to anybody you just tough it out. I disagree, I don't want to hurt one minute more than absolutely necessary. Wish I knew this a long time ago I could have saved a lot of pain.

You're going to be GOLD in as short a period of time as you say you are ok a counselor will help. Tell them everything on your mind. We are rooting for you.

Thank you. You sounded like the couselor move forward.

[TOMCAT]

I think my problem is I felt more like a mother figure to them as I was the secretary that took care of them. They were like my children and I lost my children. I do miss them. I miss taking care of them. If I could go back, I would. They always looked up to me. I was respected by them and I respected them. I was happy there. I felt bad when I left. It is more like telling a mother not to see her children anymore.

[Fraugoofy]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

I think my problem is I felt more like a mother figure to them as I was the secretary that took care of them. They were like my children and I lost my children. I do miss them. I miss taking care of them. If I could go back, I would. They always looked up to me. I was respected by them and I respected them. I was happy there. I felt bad when I left. It is more like telling a mother not to see her children anymore.

It sounds like your old work environment was toxic. I don't go to work to have someone mother me.
I go to work to provide a service for which I am paid. I would not want someone to mother me or become that friendly with me at my place of employment. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Perhaps try finding some new hobbies or volunteer... best of luck to you.

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[Wiotte]

Originally Posted by Fraugoofy

It sounds like your old work environment was toxic. I don't go to work to have someone mother me.
I go to work to provide a service for which I am paid. I would not want someone to mother me or become that friendly with me at my place of employment. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Perhaps try finding some new hobbies or volunteer... best of luck to you.

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I don’t think her work environment was toxic. That’s just how she felt and how others felt about her. That’s not toxic at all, just being human. Let’s not let this thread degrade like all the others. This topic is common to all of us.


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[DugCave]

It might help to understand why retirement is so much of a change. All of us have had our lives planed for us since about the age 6. Grade school, high school, collage or military, and finally work. Retirement is the first time in our lives where we are completely free to do as we please. Some adjust more quickly than others. I look at it as an opportunity. Do things that make you comfortable. Associate with people that make you feel comfortable. And try to relax and wind down from all those years on the go.

[zmarkp]

Having been self employed since I was 28, I would end up reinventing myself every decade or so.

I am now reinventing myself once again, and this is the best iteration yet .

Good luck to you! I believe you will do just fine.