[carole131]

Have you noticed rude behavior on the part of too many people these days? I have had so many "holy mackerel" experiences lately, finding it hard to believe what some people will say & do. There are a few copies of the book, TALK TO THE HAND, in our local Walgreen's, & if you get a chance, check it out. The book is both true (sad) & funny. The author, Lynne Truss, also wrote, EATS, SHOOTS & LEAVES (which I haven't read). One chapter in HAND reads, "Manners are based on an ideal of empathy, of imagining the impact of one's own actions on others. They involve doing something for the sake of other people that is not obligatory and attracts no reward. In the current climate of unrestrained solipsistic and aggressive self-interest, you can equate good manners not only with virtue but with positive heroism." Sounds good to me.

Originally Posted by carole131

Have you noticed rude behavior on the part of too many people these days? I have had so many "holy mackerel" experiences lately, finding it hard to believe what some people will say & do. There are a few copies of the book, TALK TO THE HAND, in our local Walgreen's, & if you get a chance, check it out. The book is both true (sad) & funny. The author, Lynne Truss, also wrote, EATS, SHOOTS & LEAVES (which I haven't read). One chapter in HAND reads, "Manners are based on an ideal of empathy, of imagining the impact of one's own actions on others. They involve doing something for the sake of other people that is not obligatory and attracts no reward. In the current climate of unrestrained solipsistic and aggressive self-interest, you can equate good manners not only with virtue but with positive heroism." Sounds good to me.

I usually try to be polite around other people. Around dogs and cats, too.

[Muncle]

Carole,~~ Good points. :bigthumbsup: I would say that nationwide if now worldwide, manners have taken a nose dive. I believe that one of the charms of TV is that we are resisting that tide of incivility. For the most part, folks here take the time to chill, to actually consider the good of others in their actions. And I believe the attitude here is a backlash to the attitudes so many of us left in our crowded northern homes and lifestyles.

But don't get me wrong. This is not a geographic malady. As many Texans, Georgians, and Floridians are as rude, crude, and socially unslick as New Yorkers, Californians, and Chicagoans. We're taught in school to go for the top, that only the best get into the best schools, and all others end up shining shoes in the bus station. :: Our television "heroes" are the smart-ass kid who's so much sharper than his sad parents or the ultra witty amoral bachelor(ette) who does whatever is needed to get ahead. And the "adult" soaps are even worse.

And we are taught that society is an adversarial situation. Disagree with a neighbor about a tree limb --- sue him. Your kid runs across his yard, falls over his own bike, you sue the neighbor. Disagree with the homeowners association you voluntarily joined, sue 'em. Little Susie didn't make cheerleader or Tommy is getting enough playing time on the lacrosse team, sue 'em. The description of the 80's was apparently "The Me Decade." Since then, instead of shedding that image, we've just expanded it to "It's me first and foremost and anything that gets in my way, be damned." :edit:

Thank God we have our political leaders on both sides to leads by their good example.

But I really believe that many here in TV are here because they tired of that lifestyle and wanted something better, slower, almost Ozzie & Harriet. Sure we rush --- there's so much to do -- but generally it's an exception. We don't have a cow when we're in the express lane at Publix and the clerk starts talking to the lady ahead of us about the grandkids' visit or the new dress shop. Some do, of course, but most just smile and take it in stride. We hold doors for everyone. We always smile and give the old Villages Wave. We have no qualms about stopping in a parking lot, or even the middle of the street, to talk to a stranger about a neat feature on his golf cart. And we say thanks, smile, and wave when we leave them. And woe be the poor person who has engine trouble or appears lost. In minutes, he'll be surrounded by complete strangers offering help. crap It's almost overwhelming. 040

[beady]

Mucle, You got that right.
Sometimes in other locations you run into kindness and courtesy, here it is the norm. It certainly is refreshing and inspiring.

[F16 1UB]

I've got a neighbor that constantly interrupts when someone is talking. Drives me nuts. No common courtesy. I've told him let me finish the :edit: story more than once. His wife goes off on him too but after 62 years it must have never sunk in. As for kids - starts at home. I heard language comming from a brother & sister the other day, ages 11-9, that floored me. He called her an F ing B. I'm sure their manners are at the top of the chart.

[jmarkohio]

Just this evening we were at Cane Garden for dinner and witnessed an elderly man stand up when his wife/lady friend approached the table. I haven't seen that courtesy since I was a kid.

[The Great Fumar]

jmarkohio
I'm familiar with that elderly gentleman........The lady he stood up for , holds his mortgage ......
Seriously , I fear this is a custom that is dying ...In this age of tattoo's , neck chains and ear rings I feel that the least I can do for this old world is go out with a little class.......I wish I had been there , I would have shaken his hand.....
fumar

[SteveZ]

Chivalry is an evaporating concept. The fact that it is evaporating is not unexpected when one considers how different the relationship between the genders is now versus not that many years ago.

Today's kids live in a different world that the one I grew up in. Years ago the idea of a fully co-ed military (field maneuvers tend to eliminate courtesy) was unthinkable - now it's fact, as the casualty roles over the last decade have shown. In the schools, the language used by male and female students is equally bad, especially to each other - and how they address teachers is abominable. In the work world, equal pay for equal work is a just policy, but it also brings with it equal treatment among the workforce population (when was the last time you saw a guy open a door for another guy?). There used to be no "competition" between the genders, but now it is routine and expected, and sometimes bloodthirsty.

Is that an excuse for bad manners? No. But the gentility that used to exist in society is fast disappearing, and it has had an effect on manners in general.

That to me is one of the best aspects of TV. Courtesy still exists here, and the good manners displayed by all of our generations (50+ to 99+) is night-and-day to what is seen elsewhere. Hopefully, we can still be a decent example to those who visit TV, especially the kids/grandkids/etc on how to act and react with others.

[BUC]

Well said , Steve. Let me also add cultural differences. My wife drives a school bus in metro Atlanta, you can't believe the tales she can tell.

[rdkent]

Last month my wife and I took our oldest granddaughter out to dinner for her 14th birthday. Later my daughter told me how impressed my granddaughter was that Grandpa helped her off with her coat and on with her coat at the restaurant. To me, that was just routine. Never even thought about it. I guess today a young woman has never experienced the little courtesies we all took for granted.

[Barbi]

It just goes to show that young people still recognize little acts of politeness and appreciate it. For the men out there remember you can't go wrong by being a gentleman with the women of any age.

[nONIE]

Barbi,

very good point!

[billethkid]

It is all a function of expectation and tolerance.
When in my home my grandchildren always tell me...I don't have to do that at home (bingo) or in school (double bingo!!)...like I still insist when at the dinner table food is passed the right way...you stay until your done eating. No hats at the table (grrrrrrr)

Ours is slowly (maybe not so slowly) becoming a very permissive, passive society....don't speak or comment....you might insult or hurt ones feelings....well when I was growing up when we did something we weren't supposed to....there was no such issue as hurt feelings...we got called on it (and some times "nailed"!).

Keep the expectation high and reasonable people do not have a problem....no or low expectation....ya get what we got now!!

BTK

[swrinfla]

Good comments here!

I saw three guys stand when a lady came to sit at their table at a gathering of retired military officers the other night! Someone at my table commented that they hadn't seen that in ages and ages!

An area where manners are still behind the "power curve:" Unsolicited 'phone calls where some "kid" at the oher end insists upon calling me - an "elder" - by my first name! While I have grown more and more immune to that, it still grates against the way I was brought up!

I have been impressed since I came to TV three years ago that many if not all of my 'phone calls to some company or institution are actually answered by a real live person! Nothing I hate more than the seemingly never-ending "press ### for xxxx!"

[lm01]

Way to common in todays society