[ThirdOfFive]

Something that's becoming more and more apparent the longer we live here, is the (for want of a better word) disconnect between Villagers and locals. It is not too noticeable in TV, though there are some exceptions, but I've been making it a point to meet and talk to locals (golf course workers, yard service workers, pest control), and have made some friends outside TV, and there is a definite "us against them" attitude. Not on the part of everyone, to be sure; maybe not even on the part of a majority, but enough. Mostly it seems to be a benign mistrust, but on the part of some it is definite antipathy, bordering on hatred. But in general the prevailing feeling seems to be that we Villagers look down on the people who were born and raised here, or who come here for the laborer jobs.

I do my own yard work. A couple of weeks ago I was out mowing, drenched with sweat, then the trash collectors came; a couple of Hispanic men. I shut down the mower and asked "how ya doin"? The driver, noticing that I was bagging the clippings said "Your grass..I take!". I laughed and said I'd save it for the next pickup. They both laughed and continued on their way. Now every time they see me, they make sure to wave. The point? I am dead sure they'd never treat me in a friendly fashion if I hadn't made the first (positive) move.

We're the guests here. My thought is that we bear the lion's share of the responsibility in doing what we can to keep Villager-Local relations friendly. We live in a bubble, but that bubble has boundaries, and if those people peering into the bubble from the outside or meet our service needs inside don't like us or even actively hate us...well, that's uncomfortable. And it could conceivably be, in some circumstances, dangerous.

What can we do to make it less so?

[Stu from NYC]

We do have more in common with people in our age group.

[Ecuadog]

To begin any interaction, with anybody, I smile and ask, "How are you today?"

[Chi-Town]

To some we are foreign occupiers. That's a hard mind to change. But being friendly helps with most and can neutralize preconceived notions.

[vintageogauge]

I don't see any more disconnect between those living in TV and the neighboring residents than I do between villager to villager. There are people living in TV from all walks of life, some bought $30,000 mobile homes others million dollar premiers. Put them all in bathing suits and toss them in the pool they all look the same to me. It all boils down to personalities and attitudes. I own a retail business and my customers are 50/50 villagers and village neighbors and I have not found any dislike from either group and the subject of where do you live comes up frequently. As a matter of fact I don't even know why you would start a topic like this, it does more harm than good. If I lived in a neighboring community I would find your post to be an insult.

[MartinSE]

I agree, but it is some not all. I think the main problem is we are not members of their tribe and they are not members of our tribe, and The Villages is changing their way of life. One thing for sure is people in general do not like change in the lives. This was a quiet small community for a LONG time, now the surrounds are like suburbs of a big city (175,000 and growing). To complicate matters more, most of the residents here are grumpy old people that insult anyone too young to live here (well, they also spend a lot of time practicing their insults on each other.) But those doing the insulting tend to be the minority - hundreds out of thousands?

[Mortal1]

I disagree that we are "strangers" here. Having lived from Japan to Scotland I've never felt I was a stranger. I get the feeling that some who do feel like strangers bring that feeling upon themselves. Since I treat most people like I want to be treated I have almost zero encounters and had the feeling I was a stranger more in my home town due to the change in population characteristics more than anything else. We had become a town of inconsiderations, lack of common sense and disrespectful attitudes. We were judged by what what world policies we had instead of how we acted. People treated people who didn't think like them as an enemy with no room for discussion.

Here in Florida, in the villages the attitude outside our bubble and inside people seem to respect each other no matter where they're from...until someone opens their mouth and proves otherwise. I find that if you act entitled(this includes many variables)you're likely to be treated in a cold and possibly unfriendly manner.

[ThirdOfFive]

Originally Posted by Mortal1

I disagree that we are "strangers" here. Having lived from Japan to Scotland I've never felt I was a stranger. I get the feeling that some who do feel like strangers bring that feeling upon themselves. Since I treat most people like I want to be treated I have almost zero encounters and had the feeling I was a stranger more in my home town due to the change in population characteristics more than anything else. We had become a town of inconsiderations, lack of common sense and disrespectful attitudes. We were judged by what what world policies we had instead of how we acted. People treated people who didn't think like them as an enemy with no room for discussion.

Here in Florida, in the villages the attitude outside our bubble and inside people seem to respect each other no matter where they're from...until someone opens their mouth and proves otherwise. I find that if you act entitled(this includes many variables)you're likely to be treated in a cold and possibly unfriendly manner.

That word "entitled" seems to be the point of view held by a number of the non-Villagers in the area. Like any stereotype, it is undoubtedly outgrown its origins but it is still there. One incident I was made aware of was one where a local stopped at one of the markets in TV do do some shopping before going home. According to this person a woman shopper in the store, apparently a Villager, asked the manager to make the person leave because he was apparently sweaty after working all day. Whether or not this is true or not is open to question but it was said with some emotion so I believe it. This person also added that there are locals who live near TV, that drive to Ocala to shop to avoid having contact with Villagers.

Scary, to think that such attitudes exist.

[Dond1959]

The OP is spot on with his assessment. Being one of the few here born and raised in North Florida it is more of a South Georgia culture than the rest of Florida. South Florida is nothing like the small communities that dot North Florida such as Wildwood and Lady Lake and even Ocala. It definitely depends on how you treat the people who perform services and keep this place running. Engaging them and treating them respectfully will go a long way. Unfortunately there are a good number who demand and bully and give the Villagers a bad name. I always talk to anyone who comes out for a few minutes and talk about being raised and born in north Florida. It is amazing you can see them relax and open up when I talk to them.

I have only been here 4 years but I have unfortunately seen a lot of clueless Villagers. One example was at a restaurant recently. It was crowded and there were 3 of us waiting for the hostess to get a second to help us. Well, here comes a loud guy pushing his way in front of everyone and demanding he be helped. The hostess handled it well and had him wait until the others were helped. The guy was completely clueless that he did anything. You see it on social media all the time when someone doesn’t receive “perfect” service they hammer the business. Unfortunately I think those that feel entitled never recognize when they are acting like a spoiled brat.

[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

I think the some of the natives look “up their nose “ at us as a whole. Often once we get to know them or they us on an individual basis, that can change.

[Bill14564]

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive

That word "entitled" seems to be the point of view held by a number of the non-Villagers in the area. Like any stereotype, it is undoubtedly outgrown its origins but it is still there. One incident I was made aware of was one where a local stopped at one of the markets in TV do do some shopping before going home. According to this person a woman shopper in the store, apparently a Villager, asked the manager to make the person leave because he was apparently sweaty after working all day. Whether or not this is true or not is open to question but it was said with some emotion so I believe it. This person also added that there are locals who live near TV, that drive to Ocala to shop to avoid having contact with Villagers.

Scary, to think that such attitudes exist.

And there are Villagers who avoid certain restaurants because they are filled with non-Villagers. On this site and in the online paper that cannot be named you see complaints going both ways. Bad apples exist on both sides and unfortunately, a few bad apples really do create the stereotype.

I've seen Villagers with the "I can afford to live here" chip on their shoulder... I don't blame non-Villagers wanting to avoid them, I avoid them too.

I don't believe I have ever been treated differently when someone from outside the bubble learned where I lived. Maybe I've just been lucky. On the other hand, I have sensed the air of entitlement from some who live inside the bubble and I'm not alone in that.

[ThirdOfFive]

Originally Posted by Dond1959

The OP is spot on with his assessment. Being one of the few here born and raised in North Florida it is more of a South Georgia culture than the rest of Florida. South Florida is nothing like the small communities that dot North Florida such as Wildwood and Lady Lake and even Ocala. It definitely depends on how you treat the people who perform services and keep this place running. Engaging them and treating them respectfully will go a long way. Unfortunately there are a good number who demand and bully and give the Villagers a bad name. I always talk to anyone who comes out for a few minutes and talk about being raised and born in north Florida. It is amazing you can see them relax and open up when I talk to them.

I have only been here 4 years but I have unfortunately seen a lot of clueless Villagers. One example was at a restaurant recently. It was crowded and there were 3 of us waiting for the hostess to get a second to help us. Well, here comes a loud guy pushing his way in front of everyone and demanding he be helped. The hostess handled it well and had him wait until the others were helped. The guy was completely clueless that he did anything. You see it on social media all the time when someone doesn’t receive “perfect” service they hammer the business. Unfortunately I think those that feel entitled never recognize when they are acting like a spoiled brat.

That restaurant incident is interesting, and probably happens with some regularity.

We hadn't been here for a month total, and went to have lunch at Cracker Barrel. The line was pretty long so I (respectfully) asked the hostess if we were going to have a long wait.

She put an arm around me and said "why, it ain't gonna be that long at all, honey".

THAT lady knew how to handle Villagers.

[MartinSE]

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive

That word "entitled" seems to be the point of view held by a number of the non-Villagers in the area. Like any stereotype, it is undoubtedly outgrown its origins but it is still there. One incident I was made aware of was one where a local stopped at one of the markets in TV do do some shopping before going home. According to this person a woman shopper in the store, apparently a Villager, asked the manager to make the person leave because he was apparently sweaty after working all day. Whether or not this is true or not is open to question but it was said with some emotion so I believe it. This person also added that there are locals who live near TV, that drive to Ocala to shop to avoid having contact with Villagers.

Scary, to think that such attitudes exist.

I agree with you, and when growing up we called that attitude "snooty". And it was NOT a compliment!

[Michael G.]

Originally Posted by MartinSE

I agree with you, and when growing up we called that attitude "snooty". And it was NOT a compliment!

For some unknown reason The Villages and the people in it seem to get a bad rap even national wide, and I heard that is before moving here from up north.

Some refer to people in TV with having more money than brains coming from various service people that come in from the outside. They say those people are dumm and wealthy enough to take the first quote and pay too much.

Some say people from the New England states are snobs, terrible drivers and think Florida
owes them moving here.

I believe we all heard before some of this before

[MrFlorida]

Its called being friendly, it works no matter where you live.