Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Would you continue living here after your spouse passes ? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/would-you-continue-living-here-after-your-spouse-passes-312496/)

B-flat 10-28-2020 06:06 AM

I know of 4 family members ( 2 husbands and wives) who retired to other 55 plus communities here in Central Florida ( not Tv). When one of the couple's spouses died she returned north. When the other couple's spouse died he remained in Central Florida. If I were to survive my wife I would return north where I still have family and long time friends, some since grammar school. Love winters here but don't care for the summer heat.

G.R.I.T.S. 10-28-2020 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1853011)
The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks

Resounding YES! I would definitely stay here as long as my health allowed. The reasons for moving here have not changed, with or without my wonderful spouse!

drgoofy 10-28-2020 06:10 AM

I'm sure many of you have heard the mantra, "Don't make any major changes for at least a year." I think that's good advice. As a minority, I believe it would be more difficult here, but on second thought, it would be challenging anywhere,

daca55 10-28-2020 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thirtyoughtsix (Post 1853178)
My wife passed away 16 months ago and was quite lll for many years prior, early on I decided to stay and did just that. There is no better place to be with all the fabulous friends one makes here. The kids back North all have jobs and the grandkids are having fun growing up. Everyone needs companionship, someone to eat with, play (golf, cards,pickleball etc).At our age it is amazing how honest and open we are with each other and no subjects (except religion and politics) is forbidden to discuss. In my case I have no interest in getting married again or having someone move in with me or vice versa. I was married to the most wonderful woman for 53 years and still think of her daily. That being said however, life
Lgoes on and I have started a new chapter in my life with a new lady friend who thinks exactly how I do. Obviously each has to do what is best for them.

Well said and good nick to you with new life chapter!

hotrodgirl 10-28-2020 06:28 AM

I was unfortunately widowed at the young age of 54, working, and living elsewhere. When I retired at age 59, I knew I had to make some changes and jumpstart my life again. Some friends suggested I check out The Villages, and they came with me for a lifestyle visit. Three of us were widowed already, and we came down with another married couple. On the 5th day here, I bought a lot and decided to build. Best decision EVER! Had I not done so, I believe I would be inherently more idle and lonely. There are so many activities and clubs to join here, and one can try their hand at so many different things. I ended up in a wonderful new neighborhood and have made lifelong friends here. I cannot imagine what my life would be like, had I not made this move. Consequently, all but one of those friends from home have moved here as well. My life is full, I am blessed beyond measure, and I am truly enjoying these years. Since I moved here in 2012, we have sadly lost some people in our neighborhood. Most widows/widowers have remained here, and are busy with their lives.
Just my experience , but I hope this helps...

KRM0614 10-28-2020 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1853011)
The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks

I am alone I’m 65 and can tell you it is not the place for a woman alone. I don’t go to bars to pick up men. The married women here think we want their husbands which is not true for the most part. Another fact is the sales clerks who work here only sell houses not relationships.
I’m hopeful I can get rid of the house, move somewhere cooler and a variety of people of every age.

lyfewell@gmail.com 10-28-2020 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1853011)
The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks

I really appreciated reading your post this morning. I am a recent widower and reside in Atlanta, GA. I am in the process of moving to the Villages because from what I can tell, TV offer many many venues and opportunities socially to interact, which is what I need in my life. I look forward to further feedback from others on this topic.

KRM0614 10-28-2020 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu from NYC (Post 1853020)
Most likely my dear wife survives me and than she would decide.

Rumor has it an eligible widower will never have to cook again and will have all the females he can handle.

You are another reason to leave this place too many like you.

lyfewell@gmail.com 10-28-2020 06:36 AM

I sincerely hope I find the same to true for me once i get moved down there!

B-flat 10-28-2020 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRM0614 (Post 1853300)
You are another reason to leave this place too many like you.

We have a neighbor who has this philosophy. These old men who survive their wives are either looking for " a nurse or a purse."

Blessed2BNTV 10-28-2020 06:47 AM

Hubby and I have discussed. Our children are scattered over US.

When one of us passes, we would stay here. If he passes, I would downsize to courtyard villa, easier to maintain.

We both have made so many friends that have become family.....like my screen name says.....we are blessed to be in TV.

Newvilla 10-28-2020 06:51 AM

Stay in TV
 
I would remain in The Villages as long as I can live independently. I like the fact that you could live here without being able to drive or get a Driver’s License. I could access almost everything I need without a car or a Driver’s License. I would probably move to a home in TV with a smaller yard that requires less maintenance.

La lamy 10-28-2020 06:56 AM

Since I am retired and my boyfriend isn't, I end up spending 6 months in TV alone. It's not the same as being widowed, but I chose TV because of how easy it is to make friends, feel part of a community, play pickleball and other sports at any time of the day, go listen to music at night (even dancing as a solo person is perfectly fine here). Even though there was a comment about how badly someone felt seeing people eat alone, please don't, some of us are perfectly happy with one's own company. I've had lots of opportunities to be out with friends and still chose to be alone at times. It's a matter of personality as others have said, but as a single person in TV I get to be active and as social as I choose.

newcastlegirl 10-28-2020 06:59 AM

I am in that situation now. My husband passed away this past July, of Covid. We always talked about what we would do if one of us goes, of course he was much older than I, so during this pandemic and now a new normal for me, I am staying put for now. I am from western PA and dont really want to go back there. The problem is I am not 60 yet, so my parents are still living and back in PA. you're right, being a single person here isnt so easy, most of the groups you join want to party and drink every day, I guess I just dont get into that. I am doing okay, I will survive and I have many friends. The problem I DO have is that it is getting waaaaay too crowded here, and that has me maybe contemplating a move to a smaller community. But again, as a single person, the decisions are harder to make because you are the only person to make them. I went off on a little tangent, lol, sorry.

NotGolfer 10-28-2020 07:08 AM

It's easy to think we know what we'd do until the time actually presents itself. That said though, I've thought about this and my thoughts are that I'd stay put. We have our medical people here in place, our church and our friends. Those can all change, of course, but to relocate is hard enough. Think about when y'all came here and had to get re-established. Unless our "kids" wanted to take care of me, which I don't think they'd be crazy about, I'd rather keep myself where I'm most familiar. We can never plan for what our future experiences will be however and what health-issues will occur. So for now, I'm living life one day at a time as tomorrow isn't promised. PLUS....don't want to live with the ice and snow and cold that goes with it, ever again.


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