Originally Posted by Villagesgal (Post 1853473)

I've stayed. My children want me to move in with their family back home. I'm only 66, was 61 when my husband passed. Friends walk away, they are afraid you'll go after their husbands or want 4 to do things like play cards with. You have to make new friends, but with all the activities here it's worth staying. Widows don't go after widowers, that's an urban myth. Most widowers I've seen eat alone because they want too, all it takes is to ask if they could join a single woman eating alone, but they don't make the effort. Another urban myth is that all widows want or need a man to make ends meet so will go after a widower. That is the exception, not the rule. Most widows take years of grieving before they are ready to move forward and even consider dating. Many widows aren't interested in marriage again, just going out and doing things with female or male friends here in the Villages. It's hard now with covid, but we'll be able to go out and do activities again in the rec centers sometime hopefully soon. If any of you are concerned about your widowed friends, just invite them out or over for dinner, all we really need is some good friends.
As far as moving in with my either of my sons families, I tell them to ask me again when I'm 80. I love that they both want me, but I'm still enjoying my life here even though now it's alone.
You can live a good, active and happy life here as a widow, but you have to get out there and participate. It may feel like it's the end of the world when your spouse dies, but it's just the beginning of a different life, it's up to you to live it.

Originally Posted by Boomer (Post 1853446)

We have a good friend who is facing this decision. He is in another southern state in a retirement community where he is actively involved.

He has been widowed for a few years. He is reaching an age where he is realizing it is time to acknowledge what could be coming with health issues. He had a recent scare and has recovered. But it definitely got his attention.

His kids are terrific but they live in the Midwest where it is cold and gray for many months of the year. He is looking into CCRCs (Continuing Care Retirement Communities) where he can go into independent living but will have further care if he needs it.

He is looking near his kids, up north. But he is also looking at Shell Point in Ft. Myers. He visited there and was impressed. You can look them up on medicare.gov to see how their healthcare is rated.

Shell Point is not inexpensive but seems to have a lot to offer, including close proximity to airports where his kids can connect faster than they can now. And, of course, they have the warmer weather and sunshine he loves after living for the past several years in the south.

I just learned about this place and looked through their website which is quite detailed, including pricing.

For those whose kids are scattered everywhere or who live in places that are far colder than what we are used to or for those who do not have children or family, Shell Point might be worth looking into.

All my information on Shell Point is second-hand and from the website. We have not been there. It is a 501(c)(3) which sometimes can mean it is better run than a chain but I don’t know that for sure. I think it might also mean that they do not kick you out if you run out of money -- not sure about that either. Of course, I would think you would have to have a discussion of net worth, income sources, etc. to get in.

I think our friend told us that they want you to come in while you can still live independently. The choices of homes run quite a gamut in pricing.

He is a very close friend and we are happy to see he is planning to make some decisions while he is in a position to make them for himself and can start into a CCRC in independent living.

For those who are looking ahead, it might be worth visiting the website at shellpoint.org and if it looks interesting to you, maybe take a road trip down to Ft. Myers to see what you think.

Does anyone here know anything about Shell Point in Ft. Myers? It sounds like it could offer some solutions and security for aging in place — in sunshine. :) But I don’t really know much about it, yet. It could be his choice so I will be learning more about it soon.

I wish everyone the best.

Boomer

Originally Posted by maryanddoug (Post 1853282)

I lost my husband in February. Although it’s been incredibly hard during the pandemic, my friends have been so great at visiting and lifting my spirits. I’m a people person and had to put myself out there. There are good people here. Yes it’s lonely at times, but I think it would be worse somewhere else. I can’t imagine being anywhere other than the Villages I feel safe and know my friends are there for me. I hope to stay here until the end.

Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1853011)

The only two things certain in life; death and taxes.

Although we live in a lovely house here in The Villages and live a great life with lovely neighbors, I personally don't know that I will remain in The Villages after my spouse passes ( or if she remains if I pass first ) or just move back home with family.

Naturally, living here as a widower in The Villages would not bring the same happiness as living with my spouse and I don't believe The Villages offers the same lifestlye for singles. I feel so terribly sad when I see a lady / gentleman eating by themselves in a restaurant / walking the dog by themselves or just being isolated from the rest of the community since they are a recent / current widower.

**Not saying that all widoweres are lonely or isolated**, but unfortunately life dramatically changes when one loses their spouse and living here in The Villages would never be the same.

I'd sincerely enjoy any feedback from current / recent widowers on how you deal and how life has changed living in The Villages after your loss. Thanks

Originally Posted by Parnell (Post 1853478)

This topic describes my life-lonely. My husband died after we moved here about 5 years ago. None of our couple friends ever invite me out to eat with them hence I never go to restaurants. Eating alone is the pits. Forget the squares etc. it's assumed that I should find other widows but that doesn't mean we'll be friends. I do my best to stay busy but usually alone. Living near my kids isn't an option. Singles clubs are event based with no lasting interactions. The saddest part is not being included with the people I was closest to. No, the villages isn't the friendliest place for widows. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent.

Originally Posted by Mikef99 (Post 1853253)

As a widower I moved here. The social activites and friendly atmoshere attracted me. I have family north and a little here. Covid and lock down has changed my outlook some as the people here have been nasty compared to a year ago, Lack of interaction is a problem if you are by yourself. I also do not see the rioting and extreme issues as in NY , Portland , Philly ,,,,,while I consider moving back I have not ....I hope as covid and the election passes things become more like they were....