[ilovetv]

This is the most insightful and useful comment I've seen on TOTV:

"One of the reasons the TV appealed to us so much is that we watched our widowed Moms. They each became lonely and bitter as the world kept spinning and their world got smaller and smaller.

My Mom still lives alone, and very lonely, in the home in which she raised us. Her life revolves around FOX news and the Weather channel. Her friends have passed away or are no longer healthy enough to socialize and she is a very lonely, bitter person.

I did not want to turn into my mom, or to leave my husband isolated." (Post #28)

That's what we saw and still see in our parents and older friends, too. And, they claim to know all about what's "crappy" about Florida and The Villages....without ever having been here to see what a difference in attitude and vitality TV residents have.

[gingersnap]

When we left to come down for our Lifestyles visit a little over a year ago, our son (only child) said, “don’t buy a house this trip.” LOL! On the second day we were here, we bought a house. Our son called that evening and said, “so, what did you do today?” I really wanted to say, “we bought a house”… but I didn’t. Upon our return back north, we kept it a secret for a few days. I felt so guilty. I finally told my husband that we needed to tell our son as he is our only child (40 yrs old) and I didn’t think it was a good idea to keep this from him. A week went by before we told him. He was shocked and probably a little hurt. We asked him not to tell his wife just yet. A month went by. As we were traveling in the van, headed to the airport for a family vacation to Disney, our daughter-in-law started naming all the “projects” she had lined up for "MA and PA" (as the grands call us) to do now that we were both retired. I finally had to tell her that we bought a house in The Villages and we would be spending the winter in FL. At first she was speechless (which is very hard for her), and then she was mad. However, it was our son she was mostly mad at for not telling her!

A year has gone by and we have since bought 2 more houses in TV. We sold our first house and moved into a bigger house. No doubt our son thinks we have lost our minds for sure! He and his family visited for Easter last year and enjoyed it here. They are now coming for Thanksgiving and probably Easter as well. The grands (4 & 7), can't wait to get here to swim! We will go north for Christmas. It’s tough to be away from them, but I know we have to do this while we can still enjoy ourselves. My husband and I have worked hard and our time is now.

I pray that in time your daughter comes around and realizes how happy you are here in TV.

Good Luck!

[stroglass]

Thank you all for you comments. I was thinking I was the only one this happened to.
She has of coursed told me I how hot it gets in fl and how I will be boarded with retirement that my hand will be golfing and I will be left alone. I tried to explain this place even ask her to explore the web site.
I lost both my parent 2 yrs ago after caring for them for a long time they never got to live the dreams they had for retirement because of health issues. Will not let that happen to me and my husband so the villagers is right for us .I was a single parent and she has no contact with her father so I understand that she may feel alone but she is married with he own life and lives an hour away now. We speak everyday but don't see each very often because she works and has a busy life so this reaction took me by sunrise

[ilovetv]

Originally Posted by stroglass

Thank you all for you comments. I was thinking I was the only one this happened to.
She has of coursed told me I how hot it gets in fl and how I will be boarded with retirement that my hand will be golfing and I will be left alone. I tried to explain this place even ask her to explore the web site.

I lost both my parent 2 yrs ago after caring for them for a long time they never got to live the dreams they had for retirement because of health issues. Will not let that happen to me and my husband so the villagers is right for us .I was a single parent and she has no contact with her father so I understand that she may feel alone but she is married with he own life and lives an hour away now. We speak everyday but don't see each very often because she works and has a busy life so this reaction took me by sunrise

You've been on the right track all along. Enjoy your new life about to begin!

[Bonnevie]

Originally Posted by ilovetv

This is the most insightful and useful comment I've seen on TOTV:

"One of the reasons the TV appealed to us so much is that we watched our widowed Moms. They each became lonely and bitter as the world kept spinning and their world got smaller and smaller.

My Mom still lives alone, and very lonely, in the home in which she raised us. Her life revolves around FOX news and the Weather channel. Her friends have passed away or are no longer healthy enough to socialize and she is a very lonely, bitter person.

I did not want to turn into my mom, or to leave my husband isolated." (Post #28)

That's what we saw and still see in our parents and older friends, too. And, they claim to know all about what's "crappy" about Florida and The Villages....without ever having been here to see what a difference in attitude and vitality TV residents have.

That exactly described my mother in her final years. We tried to encourage her to go to the senior center, ect. But she isolated herself n when she could no longer walk far due to copd and she never learned to drive she had a lonely life. That was my motivation for moving here. My son is a senior in college and has no interest in living in our old community so he did not care. It's important to stay active as we age and this place is designed to make that easy to do.

[njbchbum]

Originally Posted by stroglass

snipped
...I understand that she may feel alone but she is married with he own life and lives an hour away now. We speak everyday but don't see each very often because she works and has a busy life so this reaction took me by sunrise

Perhaps you might ask her how she would feel about having to move away from you due to a job transfer which would leave you in NJ without her and without your home in the villages.

When my mom sold the family vacation home [oceanfront cottage on the jersey shore] it devastated me - it truly broke my heart and my spirit! While i understand why she did it, that did not make it easy for me to accept; nor will i ever forgive her for doing it. BUT, it never stopped me from speaking to my mom or loving her. I hope she can come to grips with the situation and you will still enjoy your daily phone calls. Remind her that she will be little more than an hour plane ride from you!

[sharonga]

My daughter is 35 single and has a 7 year old daughter. The deal was we are going. You can stay in NY or come with us and we will put you in an apt. She came and we did. Six months later my adult son moved down. They do not like it here. My husband and I were so happy in the beginning. Now it seems that they need us to be involved in their every day drama and we don't want to be. Sometimes I envy people whose children stop talking to them!!!!!!!

[2BNTV]

I made a LSV three years ago, and ask my only child to come up for a visit with my granddaughter. He said, "this place is perfect for you". He was, and still is very happy for me, now that I am a resident. Rivet, rivet.

I think your daughter is a person who feels hurt that you won't be there to do, for her. Psychologically speaking, it probably feels to her, that you have died and left her. In reality, that's not true.

My dad retired and stayed in his home, he got depressed and went straight downhill, in a relatively short period of time. For a man who was always on the go, he went to doing nothing, and passed away before he should have. IMHO

My mom used to say that you half to make a life for yourself and not cling to your children for company and vica versa. We deserve to be free after many years of sacriice in doing for others. Any children, who are not happy for us, needs to get with the program. IMHO

I pray, that in time, your daughter comes around and realizes how happy you are here in TV.

BTW - What's the story with the house you were purchasing?

[stroglass]

Just wanted update this thread My daughter and I are now talking not sure that every thing will be said and done but she did agree to have me bring something's I wat to give her to her this weekend well its a start

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by stroglass

Just wanted update this thread My daughter and I are now talking not sure that every thing will be said and done but she did agree to have me bring something's I wat to give her to her this weekend well its a start

That's good to hear! Hang in there... I bet she will come around.

[Aruca]

I being a child of parents who in 1997 told my brothers and I that they were leaving Jersey to come to a place called The Villages ...we felt anger and were confused as to why they would leave us!

BUT then we visited TV and Totally Understood...now I own a home in TV...our family - grandkids included~ love love love to come and visit !

Moral of this Story....Have your kids come take a look and feel for TV ...that's all it will take for them to agree with your decision !

[Boudicca]

My married daughter will not speak to me due to this move. Can you share your family reaction to your decision.

Had very similar reaction. Pretty much are cut off, but we remind each other, it started with us as a couple 48 years ago, and we are happy together in our new lives, here in TV. It will end as it started, and we enjoy every single day.

[Buffalo Jim]

This is one of the most interesting and " heart-felt " threads I have ever read on this site .

[hema54]

Well my son and daughter we're thrilled. They don't live close and we only see them once a year so it wasn't because we'd be far away. They say they will never visit that there is nothing for them to do here. After a few weeks of these comments I just said that I don't tell them where to live so they should just be happy for us becuase we're happy with our decision. I'm glad I downsized to a 2 bed because they won't be visiting. I hope maybe someday they will ask to visit and see why we're happy to be here.

[Schaumburger]

How sad that adult children won't speak to their parents based on a decision about where their parents choose to spend their golden years. I would give just about anything to be able to pick up the phone and speak to my mom or see her in person no matter where she lived.