[mikemalloy]

MY wife told me once that she'd have my ashes spread at Pebble Beach. I asked her "which hole?" She replied "The Tap Room." (The bar there.)

[Professor]

Originally Posted by mbene

Where are you going to spend forever?
Was talking with our kids and mentioned that we are planning on being cremated when the time comes and are currently looking for a place to be interred at the cemetery up north where many family members are located.
Our children moved down to Florida with us when we came 18 years ago.
They both said if we did that they probably won't visit because neither one of them plan on moving back up there, so I guess we'll start looking for a place to be interred either near the villages or the metro Orlando area.
Where are you planning on spending your time when it comes?

Appended

Is this something you have thought about and done something about or is it something you're going to dump on your kids or someone else when that time comes?

We decided to be buried here in Florida in the National Cemetary since I am a veteran. Kids live in different places so doubt they will come to see us at the gravesite very often, but likely would be the same if we were buried where one of them lives since they have very busy lives. My wife passed away a few months ago and I am glad we made the decision together. If she was buried somewhere up North I wouldn't get to visit every week like I do now. It's really about us...each other...not the kids. I suggest you get buried close to where your spouse can visit if they desire to do so.

[Cuervo]

I was raised a N.Y. Street kid who does not believe in the hereafter.

My wife passed away about a year ago and I had her buried with her parents and her son in N.Y.
Even though I do not believe in the hereafter, I went to visit the grave site on Christmas and I’m going back up this month for her birthday.

This not only has to do with respect for her. But even though I thought I was impervious to feelings every now and then I feel her absence. It’s what I would consider therapy for myself.

Look live is for the living, once life leaves the body it’s nothing more than a shell. But for the ones you leave behind it might be more. Maybe you should take into consideration what you children would like.

[gbs317]

I told my family to put my ashes around my fig tree in the backyard.

[mbene]

Originally Posted by True Blue

Just curious - how often do you visit the “cemetery up north where many family members are located”?

Whenever I make a trip back up north, every year or two, I always try to make it to the cemeterys. I usually make a day of it, stop by my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers, cousins, for a visit. I find it helps me to focus on them, helps jar some long forgotten memories. I know I don't need to go to the cemetery to remember them, but I find it calming and comforting to be there. Maybe it's because I remember going as a child with my parents, and saw how comforting it was for them.
I never really got into genealogy until recently, I wish I would have thought about it when there were still some of my last generation alive to answer some of the questions I have now.

[Kenswing]

Originally Posted by BobnBev

If you are former military, you can be intered at the Florida National Cemetary in Bushnell, for free.

Already have my authorization letter. We don’t have any kids and no family on this side of the country so we figured we had better have everything arranged in advance.

[fdpaq0580]

My wife, like all my loved ones, living or not, are always with me in my heart and mind. No matter where I may wander, I am never alone.

[TVTVTV]

Originally Posted by Girlcopper

This is all a personal decision. And anyone who leaves their death arrangements to family members at the end are inconsiderate. Plan your own afterlife. Quit being cheap and expectin everyone else to bury you or what ever.

Right. Why make your kid(s) wonder what you might have wanted when emotions are high? I have written final wishes and provided the names of 2 crematoriums not far away that I researched and am comfortable with their prices and service. How do your kids know your preference if they live out of state? Make it easy with info, names ad phone numbers. Shop around for yourself while you have time, because kids don't when they are young, and it'll be appreciated by them. No need to prepay if you don't want the formality and contract, but give your kids some hints and tips.

[JMintzer]

Originally Posted by Lea N

Do you know if this applies to non-military spouse so they are buried next to each other?

Not next to each other but one on top of the other, sharing the same gravesite.

The military member's name is engraved on the front of the headstone, the spouse's name on the back.

[juddfl]

I have a friend who said that her and her husband planned to travel when they retired. They retired to The villages and they had so much fun that they didn't get around to traveling. He passed away and she now travels and leaves a little of him in all the countries that she visits. It makes her feel good that he was in spirit with her.

[Reet0823]

Originally Posted by ChicagoNative

Have you ever considered a personal Keepsake Urn or a cremains piece of glass or jewelry?

My father died 50 years ago before cremations were so common. At the time, we bought a double plot for he and my mom in Chicago. Mom moved to Florida with me and when her checkout time came in 2012, we had a small portion of ashes in keepsake urns for her 3 kids, and the main urn was buried next to my father.

My wife passed Christmas Eve of 2023. Getting ready for burial-at
-sea May 5th, 2024. How do I research Keepsakes Urn or jewelry as you mentioned.

[HandyGrandpap]

Just sharing a comment as an fyi, not endorsing either way, just adding to the thread:
Caller a while back to the Dave Ramsey radio show asked how he can minimize his burial expenses so as not to burden his family. The person lived in a larger city with a medical university. Dave suggested to make arrangements with the medical school to donate the body for medical research.

[Shipping up to Boston]

Originally Posted by HandyGrandpap

Just sharing a comment as an fyi, not endorsing either way, just adding to the thread:
Caller a while back to the Dave Ramsey radio show asked how he can minimize his burial expenses so as not to burden his family. The person lived in a larger city with a medical university. Dave suggested to make arrangements with the medical school to donate the body for medical research.

You might want to rethink that suggestion.......



Harvard’s morgue scandal is part of ‘a much larger story’ in trading human remains – NBC Boston

[cjrjck]

Originally Posted by Michael 61

My “forever” home is in heaven, not here.

Based on the other responses so far, we might have the place to ourselves. 😁

[PersonOfInterest]

No matter what your 'wishes' are or whatever arrangements you have made for cremation/burial, it will be up to the controlling family member to carry out whatever will be done with your remains. You'll never know anyway.