[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by mak

The reasons I have not bothered to register and/or post are numerous...
I find that there are maybe a dozen people who think that this forum is for their own private use. I will call them "the circle of few". When people ask a legitimate question and it gets bogged down by banter back and forth from "the circle of few", it becomes wasted time. (it's like high school with the private jokes) Blogs and chat rooms are for private discussions. TOTV should be for legitimate discussions that pertain to the majority, not banter that only a few will understand.

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Hmmm, I totally get what Mak, Ouida and Kregski are saying! Even though I am probably one of the frequent posters he is talking about, and perhaps a member of "the circle of few", I have been increasingly more aware of the fact that the chatter in the past month or two has really increased. On the other hand, if the topic is frivolous (e.g. fads, jokes or sadie mae pictures), then it is fair game for fun and chatter, and readers should expect that. But if a topic is serious (lifestyle preview or termites), then I think comments should be topic appropriate. Doesn't mean humour isn't appreciated, within context.

I think we should all respect the site administrators' goals of increasing membership and participation. And I think we should take Mak's comments to heart, as he has been brave enough to express the opinions of what might be a majority. He has been reading posts for six months and has finally given an opinion. I don't think we should dump on him for that! I think the number of times you post isn't important; it is the quality or humour of your posts that people appreciate. We need to consider the potential members that are not enjoying the "circle of few" banter (yes, I know I've been guilty, but I am trying hard to police myself).

I agree with Chelsea that the Chat Room is great .. and that is where we can all kick back and say witty and meaningless stuff, make personal comments, act like teenagers and have fun. Perhaps we should be encouraging more people to frequent Chat at night.

By the way Mak, you said in your post that you feel you won't be a welcome participant after we read your post. That is so untrue. The whole point of our site is that people can be free to express their ideas. So please, keep posting, we welcome all viewpoints.

[golfnut]

barefoot, mak makes a good point and his and others comments are always welcome and encouraged, it would be nice to see mak post again to see what their thoughts are at this point.

What was the point of the "Adios Amigos" ending? A simple Thank you for allowing me to post my comments would have gone a lot further. Johnny

[KathieI]

I feel it is very important for me to respond to this series of posts on this subject at hand, but first, I have to explain that I used the term "he" for I am not sure if mak is a he or a she, but I certainly don't mean to offend either gender:

• A person lurks about on a forum, never submitting anything or taking time to submit anything toward contributing to its success or partaking in any informative threads and doesn't register until 1 hour before issuing his first post
• His first post, oddly enough, is to lambaste those contributors who he calls the "circle of few” who have spent many hours contributing and enjoying our website
  
• He also throws a “guilt trip” on us because we will not want him to return to our website after we read his attack (? Not return? This was his only contribution?? Why would we want him?)
• Then he has the “utter gall” to attack our contributions as “wasted time,” berating us for acting like “high schoolers?” By whose opinion, might I ask?
  
• And because he does not contribute and is not a member of the forum, he is unaware of a trip that a member is taking and that we are all very interested in the travel updates from that member, but, according to him, it is unimportant banter, (who is he to judge?).
• Most importantly, to use the example of our expressing our condolences to a much loved, much respected, high-performing member of our forum as not being necessary except that this member is part of the "circle of few" was sheer chutzpah! Sir/Madam, we did not nor did we expect you to extend your condolences, nor do we care if you did or didn't! You might think you are God, but you are only suffering from the "God syndrome"
• And, in conclusion, as another highly respected member of our forum mentioned above, please, do not move next door to him or any of us. We don't want you.

And, as you can see from the majority of the posts from true members of TOTV both new and seasoned, you can really get a sense of the people of TV from the non-TV discussions and the love and generosity, giving and caring that we all have for each other.

And to quote our new friend, JohnnyM, a simple thank you would have gone a lot further. Now, if you have any :edit: perhaps you will return to post your thoughts on this subject.

KathieI

[redwitch]

I can't say I totally agree with mak and ouida (I'm not sure why kregski would be agree since he has hijacked a thread a time or two but whatever) because I'm not even close to that, but I do believe there are some valid points in his/her comments.

First, this site is just not for information about TV, at least I don't think it is. It is an online community. As such, hearing about a friend's vacation is important to us. Caring about our friends is important, both in life and in death. Joking and having fun is what made them our friends.

Second, there is too much hijacking. This is pretty common for newbies to forums in general.

A serious thread deserves to be treated with respect and not have kidding comments, no matter how witty the poster and readers think that comment is. I would say this was a pretty serious thread. Yet, comments that had absolutely nothing to do with why some have not posted were made. Not appropriate, not fair to this site, the administrators or the person who created the post.

Advertisers pay not just for how many views or posts a site has. They also look at how many people are registered. how many actively post, the variety of the posts, if the posts are their market territory. If posts are consistently hijacked, it means less people will post. More importantly, it means less advertisers because the numbers for the site will begin to dwindle.

Third, threads are frequently started in the wrong forum. Mistakes happen. No big deal, if the title isn't misleading, I can simply read the title and decide I really am not interested in this topic. Not interested, don't open it. Yes, that simple!

However, there is a simple solution. The administrators should move the post to the correct forum rather than left where they are. (Sorry, guys.) I'm going to assume this site is much like some others I've assisted on. Moving topics to their proper spot takes seconds. All you need to do is put a reply at the bottom of it saying it is being moved to X forum. The original post stays where it is but is locked. The moved post is where responses can be added.

mak, like many things in life, you need to take what you need and leave the rest. If you don't want the camaraderie, fine, don't take it. Those of us who do want the friendship won't miss you but we might feel sorry for you since you're missing out on some good times. To criticize the caring posts because they don't give you any information about TV is wrong. For one thing, they do show the friendliness and diversity of personalities in TV itself, not just on this site. We are a cross-section. Yes, even the curmudgeonly type like you are part of this group.

To complain about the constant hijacking is reasonable. It has been tried to be addressed several times. I'm not sure what can nor should be done. That, sadly, is up to the administrators -- it is a fine line they walk between not wanting to offend those who obviously love TOTV and its members by trying to stop their banter and keeping the remainder happy who want an answer to a question without a lot of silliness. :dontknow: Personally, I don't envy them on this one.

You really did have some valid points and issues. You also showed a lack of understanding of this site and its purpose. In the welcome on the Home page, it is said, "This is a free interactive community where you are welcomed to talk about what interests you and your friends." It is not just for people to decide whether they want to live here or have questions about what to do once here. I'm truly hoping your lack of empathy was not because you are one of those who truly cares about no one but him/herself but rather one of those things that came out wrong, that was truly meant to convey a point but not a true feeling.

mak, come back or not. This is your choice.

You know maybe Mak was a plant. He or she never responded to some pretty defensible posts by our TOTV'ers. Maybe he or she was a setup to see how emotionally connected this group is. I did lose some sleep over the Mak post last night because I was mad at myself for falling into his trap, ergo the setup. Maybe we were meant to see who would defend the group per se. Well it happened and if it happens again maybe we will know how to deal with it better. Maybe the original post should have been pulled by an Administrator and answered Mak personally. I am proud of the way we all tried to protect each other (except for Kregski) but he sits on the fence most the time anyway. We still love you Kreg. I say good job TOTV. Johnny
PS: I'm sorry Handie

[tony]

I didn't see any reason to pull mak's post. Let it be said. Let it be answered.

[Frank2]

Mak, I agree with some of your issues with the posting and comments. I've noticed recently that some of the banter is similar to a chat room and not in any way relevant to the discussion. However, I deal with it and think that this forum is a slice of society and with that slice we get the good and the not-so-good.

Dispite some minor annoyaces I enjoy the site and use it for things that if find necessary and informative, it's a great resource.

You are welcome to visit any time for any reason.

I'm looking forward to your next post.:joke:

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by Frank2

For members who haven's posted yet,,,please, tell us why?

Frank asked for honest input from people who haven't posted yet. When Mak ventures an opinion, he gets cut off at the knees. Could that be why members are afraid to post?
Johnny, if the Administrator starts making judgement calls that he should pull unpopular posts and answer them privately, I think that would be pretty scary.

I don't agree with all Mak's comments. If a post is clearly identified as "Condolences to Donna", or something else personal, personal comments are indeed appropriate. Just don't read it. But it if is a topic of general interest, I understand that banter may be bothersome to some.

Let's encourage non-posters to voice their opinions and not dump on them when they do! Actually I thought "Adios Amigos" was a pretty friendly ending!

[Bella]

I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion whether it be good, bad, popular, or not. I would not loose any sleep over anything that is said on this site or any other site for that matter, no one should. Sometimes a little good can come from an unpopular post. (I said sometimes, you don't have to agree with me) - Take it with a grain of salt and move on. I really don't think it should be pulled, people will definitely not want to post for fear things they post might be pulled...
Just my opinion...and ready to move on

You know, I am very sorry but I feel like this Mak post is making everyone feel like he or she is a victim. Victim of what? I think KathyI had it very right in her post. This IS a site to socialize in and also obtain information from. It so happens that the socializer's and the information givers are the people who make up TOTV. If it wasn't for the circle of many, not few, there would be no successful TOTV at all....Johnny

[mailme]

I too have noticed that a few have "stolen" a thread and run it into an area that was not related to the original question.

mm

[JohnZ]

I've thought about this topic for some time now. I've even posted a poll to solicit comments about why people visit this site. The two top reasons were to get information about The Villages and to socialize. This is a community forum and many, many things happen within the community and socializing is a big part of it. Mak's post has merit with regard to the "circle of few". What isn't said though, is that our desire is to expand that circle. And Mak, if you're reading this, we invite you and others into that circle. Everyone is welcome.....it makes it....well....interesting and fun. It reminds me of Toby Keith's song....."I Love This Bar" with bottom line,.."no cover charge....come as you are".

We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thristy hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

We got cowboys, we got truckers
Broken-hearted fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early birds and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

I've seen short skirts, we got high-techs
Blue-collar boys and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen dancing girls and hookers
And we like to drink our beer from a mason jar

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
Yes I do

I like my truck
I like my girlfriend
I like to take her out to dinner
I like a movie now and then

But I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just trollin' around the dance floor
Puts a big smile on my face
No cover charge, come as you are

Yeah man, TOTV is just like that....uh huh....yes it is. Don't be shy. Pull up a chair....take off your shoes off....we don't mind. How was your day? What's bugging you? Heavy thoughts? We hear ya man.

[Donna]

Originally Posted by tony

I didn't see any reason to pull Mak's post. Let it be said. Let it be answered.

Mak..Yes, you certainly made your point!...Well, I guess it is my turn to add my 2 cents, first as a long time member of TOTV and second as one of "The Circle of Few"..

Mak, let me say how I find the name "Circle of Few" inappropriate!! TOTV is not a circle of few, it is a group/forum of neighbors, business associates, business owners, many different groups, and certainly not last, FRIENDS!

Most of us joined TOTV way back when..I personally joined back in March 2007.. We were here on TOTV when there were very few members, and we helped as much as we could to spread the word and make TOTV what it has become today..

The Administrators have done a never ending job in keeping their attention focused, and their dedication constant..I can remember when there were three of us in chat every night..We so wanted more people to join, so we could make more friends..

Our friendship has grown, as this site has grown..We care about one another a great deal, and TOTV has been the catalyst for our friendship..

QUOTE...
(((("Also, don't take this the wrong way, but I am sure that out of the more than 3000 registered users and guests on this site that a few have had deaths in their families. This forum should not be used as a condolence site. Can't speak for anyone else, but you almost felt obligated to post a condolence. (again, if the death in the family had not been from one of the circle of few, it would have never have been on the site).")))))

If we would have known of a death in any ones family, I am sure there would have been just as many condolance posts to them..All members on this site are friends to us!..My friends found out about my cousins death in the chat room.. No one had to feel obligated to post a condolance , least of all YOU..

We have been addicts to this site (I admit) and have tried to take every new member by the hand, to show them the ropes and make them feel wanted and comfortable..

I would say we succeeded with many, as there are thousands of members and more join every day..

We have all encouraged the new members to post, ask questions, and share their opinions..

Unfortunately we will not always agree with the opinions of others but that is a fact of life and I don't see it changing any time soon! I am sure there are many times, the topics are not under the right category..(non village discussions).
Wow..A criminal mistake!!

I think the Administrators here are very considerate and easy to get along with..They keep an open eye at all times, they interject when necessary...Do we make mistakes??? I would say YES!!

You did mention it feels like high school here..Mak, I find it very hard to relate to the shy group, as I have never been shy in my life..I love people and making people feel comfortable in my company!

I have always been very outgoing and friendly..I remember back in high school the girls and guys they called wall flowers..Even when they were asked to dance, they chose not to..Was this the fault of the popular kids too???

If the new people on this site take the first step, we certainly carry them the rest of the way, till they feel comfortable on their own..

Mak..This was your first post..I wish you would have given us a chance to extend our hands in friendship. You chose to leave and not come back..I am sure you would have been very comfortable in just a short time..

We were never been given the opportunity to welcome you and share our friendship..

You fired both barrels at us and ran away!!..

A Pearl Harbor Attack, for lack of better words! I do not consider that reasonable, adult behavior at all on your part.. Talk about high school!!!

It almost feels like you stayed here to gather up all the faults and then bombarded us..

You have been reading our posts for the last 6 months..I am sure there was at least one topic you could have participated in, and not felt left out..I know there are many serious topics, with out the silliness..

I have made lots of great friends here, hopefully that I will have for years to come..
We have planned get togethers, parties, we talk on the phone, email each other, plan dinners, coffee meets, just things so we could be together..

True friends are very hard to come by..TOTV has given us the opportunity to make this site OUR site...to form lasting friendships, share the good and the bad, be ourselves, and have a place to just sit, type, relax, and vent the night away..

Are we too silly at times?? YES!! I will be the first to admit that..There are so many problems in this world and sadness, it lightens up the mood a bit and makes people laugh!!

Laughter is good for the soul..

Mak, I certainly hope you return to TOTV and let us prove to you that this site is "The Friendliest Hometown Web Site!!"

[another Linda]

Mak -- I only joined TOTV this past fall having stumbled over it looking for something else. I've got to say that I never felt like an outsider. You probably wouldn't consider me one of what you describe as the 'circle of few' but I sure feel like I am. TOTVers have been and continue to be very welcoming and inclusive. I know the threads that make me crazy (ugh! Politics!) and I avoid them. If there are some that you consider 'like high school' and you don't want to go there, skip them. I just hate to see anyone give up on TOTV.