Ugly as a stump fence.

If I had a dog that looked like that, I would shave his as* and make him walk backwards.

He who laughs last laughs longest

Drunk as a skunk

Old as the hills

Dumber then Tom's dog

Dumber then a dog in a wood box

She is as hot as a stove top.

Cute as a bug

Six of one half a dozen of the other

Be as it may

Don't take any wooden nickles

Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum.

his bark is worse than his bite

HA HA:) I couldn't explain 99% of the ones posted here. They are funny and bring back memories and a smile on my face!!

a friend in need is a friend indeed

a man's house is his castle

you're a jack of all trades and a master of none

He who laughs last, laughs longest.

"Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!!"
:1rotfl:

It means if you fix a small tear it won't bigger.

I have to be myself. Everyone else is taken.

what about it? :confused:

HEY, what are you? Calabrese?

Who let the cat out of the bag?

What am I, chop liver?

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Step on a crack, break your mother's back.

.....If you repair a tear in your clothes right away ( while it is small) you can do it with ONE stitch...
....if you wait ....the tear will enlarge and take NINE stitches to repair.

.....ALSO.....if you have a "to-do" ( dust-up ) with someone .....Either......physically or verbally....it is best to say I'm sorry and make amends right away ...than to wait until it turns into a long-running, MAJOR problem.

Sorry, me again...
 

Wash your mouth out with soup.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I smell a rat.


... Way to go, 2BNTV. Something tells me this is gonna be another Three Word Sentence thread. Oh dear, that reminds me of another one...

The possibilities are endless.

"As I said before -- I never repeat myself!!!!"

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times...

I smell a rat

.......

S*** or get off the pot

keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer

Best example of today's twist on the Dr.'s inquiry about stitches
, and Mr Fixit's explanation is the Fram Oil Filter commercial. Pay me now (buy an inexpensive oil filter) or pay me later (pay for an expensive engine repair).

Two old phrases that are still occasionally heard today...

Mind your Ps and Qs.
Modern reference is that one should watch one's behavior. The phrase originated in old time taverns where ale was sold in pints (Ps) and quarts (Qs). The phrase served as a reminder to barkeeps and barmaids to pay attention to their customers in order to know when their customers pints and quarts need to be refilled.

Get your ducks in a row.
Most people know that the phrase means that one needs to get their affairs or projects or whatever organized/prepared. But most people don't "get" what ducks have to do with getting organized.

The phrase, however, doesn't refer to ducks as in birds but instead to ducks as in duck pin bowling. Pinsetters- actual people not automated machines- had to ensure that the duck pins were properly aligned and on their correct marks for the bowlers.

The harder I work the luckier I get.

Handier than a pocket in a shirt.

The hurrier I go the behinder I get. (Amish)

Ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies (Amish)

Cute as a bug's ear

My grandmother had hundreds of these. I'll get back to you.

Joaniesmom

And
 

Ya plant beans, ya get beans. (When someone was complaining about their kids)

c'est la vie c'est la gar

.......

you forgot they walked up hill both ways

drunk like a skunk

early to bed early to rise makes you wealthy and wise

can't see the forest for the trees

if something is to good to be true it probably is

"If you break your leg, Don't come running back to me crying!!!!!"

break a leg

Put a lid on it!

He who laughs last is the slowest in getting the joke!

No sense crying over spilt milk.

No sense closing the barn door after the horse is gone.

I didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt. Dolly Parton

old sayings
 

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water